The 3 Steps To Communication Mastery

Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have learned when it comes to making the most of yourself. If this istrue for you, then how are you going to improve?

Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing you will not know where to make changes to how you talk to people. How can youchange what needs to be improved if you do not see it yourself?

There is a very simple way to generate awareness of how you behave with other people. A way to develop perspective that is not clouded by your biased perceptions.

Three Steps to Powerful Communication:

1 Be a neutral observer

Choose a recent conversation you had which did not go as well asyou would have liked. Next, pretend for a moment that you are a neutral observer of the conversation. In your imagination go back in time to that incident and see yourself talking to that other person. Picture the surroundings, hear the sounds and feel the atmosphere of the place.

Then run through the entire conversation again, only this time imagine that you are the neutral observer. See yourself and the other person talking and listening to each other and notice the dynamics of the conversation. Pay special attention to the non verbal reactions.

By doing this you will be gathering a lot of information that will be helpful in noticing what works and what does not work inyour communication.

2 Be the other person

Revisit the conversation again only this time cycle through it as if you were the other person. Imagine what it was like to be there looking at you and listening to you. You are now walking intheir shoes so as to get a close up look at what it is like to deal with you.

You may find that you spot the reasons why the conversation didnot go as well as you would have liked.

3 Ask yourself - how did I get the result I achieved?

In this stage of the process you put the responsibility on yourshoulders alone for the outcome of the conversation. Blaming others will not help you to think creatively for solutions and ways to better your conversational skills.

Revisit that conversation one more time as the neutral observerand one time as the other person. In each case look for the answer to the question: how did I get this result? Then ask yourself: what could I do differently to get what I really want?

You will discover ways to change your approach that can dramatically improve how you communicate when it matters most.

By using this approach I often spot opportunities to use more emphasis on key points and the value of being enthusiastic when I want someone to consider my opinion. At other times I notice thatI could listen more carefully instead of just getting carried away with my own agenda.

Play with this way of developing perspective for yourself and have fun spotting all the little differences that add up to a big difference in your ability to speak with impact.

Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He recently produced a 5 day ecourse on Persuasion Mastery. To get this forfree send mailto:5daypersuasion@sendfree.com

More Resources

A Magnificent Obsession Is The Best Medicine!
The idea I'm about to share with you can bring you the greatest hope. It can bring you happiness beyond anything you've ever dreamed.
Part II--The Journey to a State Called Authentic
Are you on the road yet? If not, pony up your?.um, pony and pretend that you are gracefully cantering down the road toward that state called Authentic.
How Anyone Can Manifest Anything!
My mother taught me how to teach others about the power of the mind. By learning how to teach her, I learned how to communicate essential wealth-building ideas to others.
Listening Is As Important As Speaking
While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often do you feel that the other person has truly heard what you've said?If you want to succeed in social settings, relationships, and business, one way to ensure your success is to be a great listener.There are a few simple rules you can follow to help you become a better listener, therefore enhancing your conversation skills.
How To Make A Strong First Impression: Seven Tips That Really Work
We have all heard this warning: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Also, human behavior specialists caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
Living a Values-Based Life
What is a values-based life? A values-based life is a self-capable life free of doubt or fear; a life that allows you to take risks, fulfill dreams, capture goals and live to your fullest capacity. Sound wonderful? It certainly is.
What Do You Want Out of Life?
What are you willing to give up in order to achieve that?We have all heard the old saying that there are no free lunches, right? Well, that is so true that it could have been one of the Ten Commandments. In order to receive anything we must be willing to give something and the amount that we receive is directly proportionate to that which we are willing to give - be it material things or time.
Does Size Matter?
Bigger is better. Isn't that the American dream?Why buy a road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV when you have the delicious option of buying a BIGGER road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV?Why settle for a puny three-bedroom, two-bathroom bungalow of our parents' generation nestled comfortably on a green plot of land with a few nice shade trees? In new "developments" these days, you can choose a two-storey home bulging beyond the property line of today's incredible shrinking lots, complete with a bedroom that can sleep 34 PLUS a walk-in closet that sleeps another 20 AND an ensuite bathroom big enough to store your SUV when your 300-cubit-long garage is full of toys or tools.
Embrace Change
Last Sunday I was sitting in on a class we conduct for newcomers at our church. One of our pastors said, "If we don't change, we aren't growing, and if we aren't growing, we are dying".
The Centre of Creative Powers!
Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at every moment. Every moment clarify to yourself the greater purpose of everything you do.
Get More Personal
Most folks who know me, know that when people write me I always like to write back and show how much I appreciate the message. I do stay busy, but taking the time to write back is something that's very important to me.
Whats in a Name ?
What's In a Name?How often have you thought about the name that you were given? Do you know what your name means? Have you lived up to the wonderful meaning of your name?I haven't given much thought to my name in a long time until recently. For several reasons, my name is giving me a lot of respect in this community that I've joined.
Achieving Your Vision of Abundance
How can we have more abundance in our lives? It begins by noticing the abundance that we already have.We cannot experience abundance yesterday or tomorrow.
Compounding Effect of Selfishness
Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping centre. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling.
Maximizing Your Potential - How To Optimize Your Off-Peak Performance?
We human beings naturally have two kinds of state that exist in us at any given time: peak state and off-peak state. Peak performance can be defined as "performing at your most optimal best at this time".
Getting the Universe to Work for You
Wouldn't it be great to know that you have something as enormous as the Universe working in your favor? To know that such a force was pushing for your success would mean that success was only a matter of WHEN, not IF.The good news is that this support is easy to access by doing one simple yet very important thing - giving before you receive.
Body Language
Body language is fascinating. People rarely recognize how much information they give off and how noticeable it is to the human eye.
9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise
Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way you communicate in your business and personal lives. It functions as a front porch for two reasons: 1) It equips you with the confidence of knowing exactly who you are; and 2) It magnetizes others to you because they admire and respect those who know exactly who they are.
Closing the Feedback Loop
In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importanceof becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggestthat listening might be the most important communication skill of them all.
You Attract What You Are
It's been said that, "To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To attract powerful people, you must be powerful.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

10 Powerful Tenets Of Personal & Professional Leadership Using The Law Of Attraction
Leadership is an innate ability in all of us. Using the principals of the Law of Attraction to strengthen our leadership and consciously use it in our personal and professional endeavors will not only attract more success to us it will allow us to be of service to others and make a valuable contribution.
Why Cant You be More Like Me?
Here is a non-scientific, but fun way to see which style you may be. Read the poem below and then identify which one of the styles is most like you.
Teach Me Who You Are
We all have a privately held belief system that defines who we think we are. This belief system is composed of ideas that we have accumulated over time that we think describe us accurately.
To Be A Cut Above The Rest!
Mannerisms and personality traits go a long way in making impressions on other people. Some people unknowingly have mannerisms, which humor others.
Improve Your Conversations By Watching Talk Show Hosts
If you want to learn how to be a good conversationalist, a really useful place to start is by watching television!Not just any television mind you - you can learn a lot about how to have successful conversations by watching talk show hosts!One of the most important qualities exhibited by good talk show hosts on television that you can easily incorporate into your own conversations is the way they really pay attention to the person they are talking with.The most successful talk show hosts demonstrate great curiosity in hearing what the person they are interviewing has to say.
Demanding Miracles
Have you ever had an overwhelming problem or issue? Was there some circumstance in your life that seemed beyond your ability to handle it? Have you ever called out to God, Buddha, guardian angels, The Force, your higher self, Mohammed, Mother Earth, whatever name you give that spirit? To find an all-encompassing name without prejudice towards any one belief system, I'll just hereby use the word 'god' to refer to whatever or whoever it is that you pray to for assistance and guidance. Have you cried out to your god for help and guidance with some crisis in your life? Did you get an answer? Did you get help?When we get the help and assistance we've just asked for, we assume all is well in the heavens.
Limited Thought, Limited Experience
I was reminded once again the other day about how well we limit ourselves and take on the values of others and their limitations.I was in one of our morning sales meetings and just barely awake trying to concentrate on other things.
Social Skills Training Can Positively Impact Your Life
Millions of people become anxious and insecure when speaking in public, starting a conversation, or mingling with others in a social setting.There are a large number of individuals who are extremely successful in their professional lives, but tend to shy away from meeting new people, attending social functions, and interpersonal communication.
Unexpected Wisdom
If you have ever traveled across country by train, you know that meals are served with community seating. That means you can meet new people with every meal.
Courage to Change
This is a story about a woman we will call Anne, a thirty-five-year-old woman who concluded that she could never find a man. She determined that loneliness was her fate and thus went as far as accepting it as fact.
Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness
I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing.
Brainology... Lets Start Learning Something Everyday, Every Moment
Every normal human being learn in his life's each and every minute. He is gaining experience every moment.
Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?
"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is a year" - Hypnotherapist David Block"If at any time you make a mistake and want to change your selection, press the star key on the telephone pad." - AMC 20 Movie Theater recordingBoth of the above quotes imply a radical shift in popular thinking about change.
Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions
It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year's resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be.
How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence
If you think success, happiness and love are going to happenwithout learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken.Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well asthose of others.
Afloat on A Sea of Abundance
In the days of the mighty sailing ships, when brave souls voyaged into the unknown, dependent on the winds and their as-yet incomplete knowledge of geography and navigation, one of the greatest and most dangerous challenges was to traverse the area known as "the doldrums."Extending about 30 degrees on either side of the equator, the doldrums are subject to days, weeks, even months of no wind at all.
Once Upon A Time There Was No Money
Once in a while a book comes along that can change your way of thinking for the better. A book that free's the mind of its old limitations.
What Characters Teach Us about Character
Character is that which defines us; it's what people will remember about us long after we're gone. The TV News, Radio Talk Shows, News-Magazines and the daily Paper are replete with stories about characters.
Some Gals Have All the Luck: How to Create Your Own Good Luck
You probably know a few. These gals marry the millionaire.
14 Relationship Principles to Live A Successful Relationship
Each relationship combines two individual stories to coauthor a new relationship story. The implicit contracts authored by each party in a relationship become unspoken assumptions that can facilitate or derail the relationship.