Creating Relationship Synergy through Rapport Building

One of the great things about rapport is that it doesn't matter whether you have agreement or not with the other party. Remember some of the conversations you've had in the past with your best friend, partner or even children. Do you always agree with them? What happens when you disagree? Is it the end of the world or is there friendly banter? Sometimes we simply agree to disagree. I heard someone say once "You can either be right, or you can be happy". I know I'd rather be happy.You can also build relationships with others although you personally don't get along. I've had jobs in the past where I personally didn't get along with my bosses for whatever reason, however I still respected their position - they were still my boss, they were running the show and for all intents and purposes knew what they were doing. With that, my professional integrity remained intact.

So what can we do about getting rapport happening?

Interaction with others is multifaceted. We all have our own views on life that we believe is right, we have different values and beliefs; there are cultural issues as well as many other things that need to be taken into consideration when dealing with others. So I've come up with some very basic rapport building strategies that might just make it happen for you.

Firstly, take baby steps. If you're uncomfortable matching and mirroring the behaviours and language of others, start by practising with yourself in front of a mirror, find yourself a partner you'll be comfortable practising with, or mirror someone on television. The more you practise the more fluid your rapport building skills will become - think of this as if you engaging in a slow moving rhythmic dance with someone.

Read each point first and give yourself time to absorb its meaning.

*Take a genuine interest in the other person.

*Become curious as to how the other person thinks, what they value most, what type of humour they have, what language they use - is it visual, auditory or feeling?

*If there is an apparent age gap between you and the other person, learn about that generation, what their values are, what motivates them and show an interest in their history.

*Be willing and flexible enough to see life through the other person's eyes? How do they view the world?

*Have open communication with others and be willing to disclose some things about yourself, of course within reason and when appropriate.

*People can sense manipulation, if not consciously then subconsciously. I can sense manipulation a mile off and don't like it one bit! Sometimes I've kicked myself for agreeing to something I really didn't want to. Like I said earlier, rapport is about mutual influence - a give and take experience. An example of this is when we share jokes, brainstorm a project together, a class, or simply being part of an effective team.

*Mirror and match their posture and movements. This doesn't mean copying or mimicking. I once interviewed a young man who copied my every movement. When I invited him into the workplace by saying "Walk this way", he did by copying me exactly. For something serious like a job interview I thought I was part of a comedy routine. That is definitely NOT what I'm talking about. When movement's flow like a dance it shows you're in sync with others.

For example if someone crosses their arms you could subtly do the same or cross your feet. You could match someone's breathing rate with your blink rate, foot tapping can be equalled with nodding in rhythm, tugging of the earlobe could be tugging at skirt/trousers/shirt. Again, this takes practise and subtle observation. After awhile it will be something that's done unconsciously.

*Notice and really hear their voice. What tone, pitch, pace, volume and wording do they use?

*What's their breathing rate - fast, slow, even, erratic? Notice their rhythm of breathing and do the same. I find when I do one-on-one sessions with my clients, my breathing rate and that of my client becomes as one. I know then that my client and I are totally in the present moment and focused on each other.

*We all have a unique way we move, some of us are slow, fast, steady or barely make a movement. I apparently move something like a penguin (womanly would have been nice but there you have it). The unique movement of others is something else that can be matched though I wouldn't be overdoing the penguin waddle!

*Actively listen to the other person - be interested in what they have to say. Even my young son knows when I'm not present and listening to him.

*Know and understand what your relationship with your 'Self' is before building rapport with others.

*Be in the Present moment.

*And the biggest and most effective rapport building strategy is when you are personally involved in the rapport building process. Makes sense, does it not?

May you have many wonderful moments in building relationships!

Michaela is a graduate of a well known parapsychology academy in Sydney Australia, and is a highly-regarded professional within this field.

She is also a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and writer who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives.

A high achiever in many areas of her life, Michaela has extensive experience through not only her varied careers but also her interests and education in the fields of spirituality, aromatherapy and massage, personal development and transformational coaching, to writing, meditation, and psychometry.

Michaela is the author of the eBook 10 Colour Meditation Scripts, and publisher of a monthly e-newsletter called From My Desk which is available via subscription at http://www.michaelascherr.com

Married to David, Michaela has two children, Kristen and Aaron, and a grandchild called Matthew. Michaela and her family currently live in Brisbane Australia.

More Resources

Compounding Effect of Selfishness
Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping centre. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling.
What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me?
There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to help people understand one another.One of the areas that causes a lot of grief in business and especially in relationships, is that no matter what category you fall into you are either a:SayShowFeelDiscovering what the other person is in this area, can take you a long way in building relations, credibility, confidence and the ability to make the other person happy.
What Do You Want This Year?
Christmas is all around us, and many people are making up wish lists. Those who aren't doing that are busy setting down their New Year's Resolutions already.
The Centre of Creative Powers!
Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at every moment. Every moment clarify to yourself the greater purpose of everything you do.
Buying the Myth
So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance.
Are You The Worlds Expert On Yourself?
Congratulations! You are the world's expert.That's right: you are the world's expert.
The Likeability Factor - Do You Have It?
Growing up, we all had a mental picture of the perfect life partner The person we thought would be our happily-ever-after -- a person with a perfect smile, beautiful eyes, and an adorable button nose. Fast forward to reality and who did you wind up with?Chances are that if your partner of choice happens to be male, you ended up with a guy who is shorter than you expected, has less hair than you anticipated, but overall is a pretty neat fellow.
On Uniqueness
Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich.
How to Manage Self Consciousness
Self consciousness is an essential part of being human, but it can make social situations really tricky sometimes. Here's what you can do about it if it happens to you.
Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love
In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I explain in detail how to practically use a plant material to attract things to you, so refer to that if you have never used plant matter in magic before.In brief, the main methods of using plant material to draw love are: carrying the substance on your person in a locket or a sachet, boiling the herb and sprinkling the residual water around your residence, putting a sprig of it under your bed or in your pillow and burning it as incense.
Whats the Opposite of Doubt?
The Law of Attraction teaches us that whatever you focus on, you will attract MORE of into your life--whether it's wanted or unwanted. To deliberately attract more of what you enjoy, you need do only three things:Be very clear about what you want--write it down, find the precise words that describe your desire.
Respect Is A Four-Letter Word
One of the most important needs for every human being is the need to be respected. It doesn't matter if you or anyone else is a corporate executive, host of your own television show, short-order cook, Wal-Mart greeter or stay-at-home parent.
The Keys To Faster Evolution
Prosperity is management of positive energy. It's individual capacity to pour energy out in the world and re-circulate back in our life.
Top 10 Ways to Use Attraction To Build Your Business
Most business people would rather have customers seek us out based on a strong personal referral from a satisfied customer, than go to the expense of mass advertising. It's called marketing through attraction.
Birthing Your Dream
Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure about the process, wondering if you are stepping out too far this time? Will God bless your dream, or is it His dream you're nurturing? Consider a pregnant woman. We've all had opportunity to observe the process, if not actually experience it.
Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness
I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing.
Electrical Deficiencies
Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our sensors are designed to detect conductors of energy that have the power to stir our feelings.It is this power we long for in particular individuals that manage to stir these responses in us, whether they manage to match their negatives with our positives or vice versa, generating a current we are unconsciously plugged into and are likely to become hooked on like junkies, particular currents determined by our electrical weaknesses and deficiencies, and the energy levels and forms we actually need to complement and supplement this malnutrition.
Putting Yourself on the Road to Success
What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?It would be fair to say that the answers to these questions are very complex ones. It is a combination of factors which include such things as your country of birth, when you were born, your IQ, your physique, your capacity to remember, your environment, your parents, your friends, your associates, the formal education you receive and the books you read.
Getting What You Want Most From Other People
Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more thananything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficultit can be to turn the situation around.
On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses...
On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo their sweethearts with chocolates and roses -- but also a Leadership Talk.My experience in teaching the Leadership Talk to thousands of leaders worldwide for the past 21 years confirms that the Talk is a boon for leaders of all ranks and functions in their jobs and careers.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Great Things Cannot Happen Without Change
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.It's critical that we realize our lives can change at any moment.
Get a New Attitude
One of the first and foremost things to do to change your life is to change your attitude. Attitude is fundamental to the success or failure that we experience in our life.
The Big Secret
"Within you is the power to change your life"Lately I've been doing a lot of radio interviews promoting the release of my new book, Handbook to a Happier Life. During several interviews the host remarked that "Handbook" is a pretty simple book.
Five Ways to Sharpen Your Sense of Humor and Improve Your Relationships
Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship. If there is laughter present you can be sure the relationship is a healthy one.
Change Your Mind, Shift Your Life
Everyone can draw from the Universal Reserve Bank. What is it, you ask?It has taken me years of inner searching to realize the answer!I have come to believe each human being is wealthy.
Enjoy the Magic of Prosperity
There is an art and a science to prosperity. The art is playing with the magic of prosperity.
The Power You Possess
What you need to understand is that there is no barrier to what is possible. It doesn't matter what it looks like.
What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?
In my private practice for the past 15 years I have discoveredhow hungry we are to find deep fulfillment and loving, make wisechoices for ourselves and the planet, and walk in union with ourhigher guidance.Yet our days are filled with endless, empty lists of have-tos,shoulds, and must-dos.
Great Communication Skills
Having good communication skills in the workplace is important. This article will provide tips to take into account a rapidly changing workplace.
6 Great Ways To Improve Your Social Skills
If you are looking for a way to improve your social skills, there are many resources available that will assist you in refining your social skills and improving the way you communicate with others.It's not only possible to learn how to improve your social skills; it's easier than you think.
7 Tips to Make a Fantastic Impression on People Who Count
Making a fabulous impression on people opens doors for your business, personal, and career endeavors. People like charming people who make them feel comfortable.
Intuition: Your Best Moving Guide
Recently someone asked me, "What coaching tools do you use?""Tools?" I asked, bewildered. "I avoid tests and assessments.
Self-Divine-ation: Defining a Divine Future!
In some of my counseling and coaching sessions, my clients ask me to perform a reading to tell them their future. In many cases, my response is, "why don't you tell me your future?" They stop and stare, speechless.
Do You Have Your Best Life?
For many years I had a good life. My illness was reasonably under control, I had a nice relationship with my husband, I did work I didn't hate.
The Monkey And The Spreadsheet
When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt restless, it helped to understand drives. The mind perceived, recognized and interpreted.
Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it?Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up!Have you ever felt the breeze on your face, either during a hot-air balloon ride or by sticking your head through the car sunroof? It wakes your senses up, doesn't it?And on a scale of 1-10 how much does your heart bump, body shake and senses wake when you do your day job? I bet you can practically do the tasks with your eyes shut. In fact I bet there are days when you feel like you did have your eyes shut?Most people don't feel awakened by their day jobs.
Getting What You Want Most From Other People
Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more thananything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficultit can be to turn the situation around.
The Magic of Mike
The woman stood over the stove stirring a pot of hot soup.She prepared it to ward off the bitter Minnesota cold, a cover-every-inch-of-your-skin cold, the kind that bites you and never lets go, the kind that makes auto engines demand heaters or they refuse to start.
Law of Attraction - What You Project You Receive
Do you know anyone who always seems to have bad luck? Nothing ever goes right for them. Conversely, have you observed people who always wind up OK despite what befalls them?What differentiates these two types of people? Their attitude, thoughts and actions are as different as day and night.
Complete Self Acceptance
One of the most important parts of Personal Mastery is 'Self Acceptance'. This is much more than the usual 'self esteem' issues that we hear about, although that's a part of it.