Feedback: Take It or Leave It ... But Get It

The expense was substantial. An immersion workshop with twelve participants sharing a common goal to hone their skills. With nervous eagerness like kindergarteners embracing school, we received input, critique, and suggestions about our work. Some of the feedback I used. Some of it I didn't. But all of it was helpful.

I haven't always viewed feedback that way. At times in my career, I've taken it more like a personal indictment than a helpful gauge; an intruder I needed to defend against, rather than input I needed to evaluate. I've even found myself akin to a workshop colleague who said he wanted input, but when he got responses different from what he expected, he argued and debated and explained. What he wanted was praise or input he agreed with, not honest reactions.

You see it's not enough to ask for feedback. You have to be open to receive it. After three days of our colleague's defensiveness, any willingness to offer anything but cursory input was stomped out. His argumentative actions lost him an opportunity for connection with fresh voices and new input. And we lost an opportunity to practice giving helpful feedback with authentic insights and thoughtful reflection.

I learned a painful lesson about seeking feedback in my first management position. Given a large assignment, I was proud of what I produced, certain it would be received as an outstanding product. Instead I discovered my work was mediocre at best and significantly flawed because I failed to seek feedback and assessment from the end users along the way. Relying only on my own thoughts and perceptions was a big mistake.

Over the years in the corporate world, I learned to view feedback as data. The more data I got, the more information I had to improve what I was working on. Realizing I was in charge of how I used that feedback data, I learned to seek it. Feedback is opinion; not fact. It's something to evaluate; not blindly accept.

But, I find when several people have the same perception, it's good to listen. When I get insights I hadn't thought about, it's good to consider them. When input is mixed, it's good to follow my instincts. But when people provide feedback with a hatchet, finding only fault rather than offering ideas for improvement, it's good to look at it with distant curiosity.

Bottom line: if you want to be winning at working you must learn to seek and offer well-intentioned feedback. I think of it like the Sicilian proverb: "Only your real friends will tell you your face is dirty." Let input, suggestions, and feedback be real friends at work.

(c) 2004 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

Sign up to receive Nan's free biweekly eColumn at http://www.winningatworking.com. Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan has a B.A. from Stanford University and M.A. from the University of Michigan. Currently working on her first book, Winning at Working: 10 Lessons Shared, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and on-line instructor. Visit http://www.nanrussell.com or contact Nan at info@nanrussell.com


More Resources

Stacking The Deck In Your Favor
Many people do not bother to look at their own magnificence and without that view it is not likely that we will recognize the need for strategies to maximize our strengths. When we buy an outfit for a special affair, we automatically try to coordinate each piece so that they enhance one another and amplify our sense of "looking good" from head to toe.
How to Know if You Are in the Right Career
Ever wonder if you are in the right career? If you are like most people you have. Did you know that 80% of people are currently misemployed? They are either underemployed, not happy with their current position or not fairly compensated for their skill and/or function set.
Drive Your Career Change - A Direct Approach
If your career has gone off the road, take control and drive back to job satisfaction with a direct approach.When you're looking for that new job or a career move it's easy to think that 'they' hold all the cards.
Writing A Resume That Gets You Noticed
As the old saying goes, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression." In today's business world, of course, that first impression usually does not come from a face-to-face conversation, but from whatever you can tell your future boss about yourself on paper: your resume.
Six Sure-Fire Ways to Get Yourself a Pay Rise
Many employees do not care too much for their bosses or supervisors. It is an all too common trait.
The Surefire Way To Getting A Pay Raise
If you are working for someone else, it is important to remember this fact: No one gives you a raise, you must earn it. You've got to prove you are worth the additional money you are asking for.
Any Job is an Honorable Job
Seeing your job as an honorable job, adds more meaning and peace to your life. Also, seeing the honor in what you do now, creates an ideal foundation upon which a career change can be built.
Job Security Is Dead! Are You?
Job security is an out dated concept. The idea is nice: The longer an employee works for a particular company, the more valuable that person becomes to the company in question.
Mystery Shopping - An Excellent Part Time Job Or Additional Income Source
Though the name itself may seem a bit mysterious, the concept of mystery shopping is actually straightforward. Also referred to as secret shopping, performance evaluations, service checks and frontline evaluations to name a few, mystery shopping allows companies to obtain a "snapshot in time" by trained researchers who know in advance what they are to evaluate.
6 Vital Tips For Creating A Superior Resume
1: Keep It ShortConsidering that initially HR personnel only spend approximately 10-20 seconds on a resume, the shorter your resume, the most desirable it is. Aim for one page.
Are Online Degrees Valid to Prospective Employers?
Online distance learning has gained rapid popularity with the advent of the internet, which has proven to offer great supporting facilities and convenience for online education. However, just like everything else with pros and cons, the internet has also opened doors for the widespread sale of bogus online degrees.
Start Working Before You Get Hired
What if there were a way to *prove* to any sane employer that you alone were the one to hire?Would learning how to do that interest you? I thought so.I call this the "start-working-before-you-get-hired" job-hunting method.
Corporate World: Jungle Or Paradise?
The road to the top is not easy, it is bumpy and dirty. Along the way, we meet interesting creatures.
What To Do When HR Calls...
Generally, when you present yourself as a prospective candidate for a new employment opportunity, your information will filter through the Human Resources department. Since every company has their own hiring process, understand that you cannot always control when HR will call you.
Hiring the OverQualified Employee or Mining for Gold
I am having a hard time understanding why a valuable resource such as the "over qualified employee is having such a hard time getting a job. Something seems to be out of whack here.
Resurgence of the Time Sheet: Why You Should Write Down Your Workday Activities
One day I walked into my boss's office and said, " I think all staff should do a time sheet, including you, from now on." I definitely surprised her but the results of thisrequest certainly got the attention of all of our staff.
Everyday Is Saturday: Help for the Suddenly Unemployed
I recently was "unhired" by my former employer. Unhired is a softer term than "fired" but it means the same.
Moving Without A Job: Should You Move to the Location of Your Dreams and THEN Look for a Job?
Moving without a job will challenge your identity -- but for some people, it's the best way to go.Here are some ways to deal with the question.
How to Crash - Proof Your Job Search
Think you have the speed, endurance, and know-how to fix what's broken? Bet not. The smartest people in the world are those who can leave their ego at the door, and know when its wise to seek help.
Losing A Career Can Feel Like Getting A Divorce
Most of us are aware that we need to grieve the death of a close friend, relative or favorite pet. We are beginning to learn that other events -- relocation, divorce, illness -- can also be experienced as loss.

More Careers & Employment Information:

Related Articles

How to Give Job-Winning Answers at Interviews
Human Resources personnel, professional recruiters and various other career experts all agree: one of the best ways to prepare yourself for a job interview is to anticipate questions, develop your answers, and practice, practice, practice.There are plenty of websites that offer lists of popular job interview questions, and knowing the types of questions to expect can be very useful.
Top Ten Guidelines For Working With Executive Recruiters
1. Select the right type of recruitment partnerDetermine whether you would be best served by a retained, contingency, contract or research based partner at a global, national or local level.
Using Freelance Websites to Telecommute
How is your job hunting going? Have you had problems finding legitimate jobs? I don't know if you've ever thought about using freelance websites to obtain work at home, but this should be something you look into. It might not be for you, but you never know until you try.
When Bad Interviews Happen to Good Candidates
Going through the motions of a bad interview is like peeling back the layers of an onion. Sally learned this lesson the hard way, hands-on during an interview that should have been a piece of cake.
Do You Need Help Writing A Winning Cover Letter?
Your cover letter is critical to your success. It sets the tone.
Inside Sales Jobs: A Job Worth Seeking?
Are you interested in inside sales as a career? Inside sales can be a very rewarding job if you so choose. What is the difference between inside and outside sales positions? If you think the difference is staying out of the sun, read on and discover if or why an inside sales job could be for you.
Employment Law: Unfair Dismissal - Employer Succeeded in Changing Terms of Employment
Good News for Employers wishing to change the terms of employment of employees, however, employers must still take care.In Scott & Co v Richardson [2005], the Dependant, Mr Richardson, who worked for a Scottish firm of debt collectors, refused to accept his new terms of employment which required him to visit defaulting debtors during the evenings.
Applying for a Job in China
Working in ChinaWorking in China is very common now. Either you are sent to China by your company or you apply for a job to be stationed in China.
Are You Tired of Hiring Other Peoples Rejects? - 12 Mistakes Recruiters Make and How To Avoid Them
When John applied for a job at Oakland Company, his resume looked fabulous, showing tremendous talent and advancement. His qualifications were beyond question and he built immediate rapport with everyone in the interview process.
What is Absolutely the Best Day to go on a Job Interview?
First of all, to fully understand and appreciate the answer, a couple of givens must be taken into account. What I believe to be the most important item for dealing with an interview successfully is, your attitude.
Conduct An Informational Interview
Informational interviews are designed to get as much information as you can about the industry and career you're seeking a job in from people who are already in that career.Many job seekers don't conduct informational interviews because the purpose of this type of interview is NOT to ask for a job.
F-E-A-R in the Job Search!
Fear in starting a job search is a four letter word! Like any other four letter word, the word itself can create more fear, and some- times self-loathing!Look at the fear when it applies to a job search.Fear of others.
9 Secrets to Career Success
Are you miserable at your job (or what you are doing) but go anyway to earn a living? Do you feel you are unable to use your talents and are doing things that are stressful? Do you find yourself in a career rut? Wouldn't you rather be in your ideal income position and "Go to Play" everyday? Most people spend approximately 35% to over 67% of their waking hours working. Being unhappy for so much of the day makes it difficult to enjoy the rest of your waking hours.
Learn How To Succeed At Career Fairs
This career article will give you some great tips on successfully navigating thru career fairs.This issue will quickly cover the following:A) Purpose of Career FairsB) How To Best PrepareC) Tips & Strategies During The FairD) Career Fair Follow-UpA) PURPOSE OF CAREER FAIRSCareer fairs are designed to provide job seekers a way to explorecareer opportunities within a variety of companies at one location.
Career Change: A Glittering Invitation To The Emotional Stalkers
As much as you are yearning for career-change, and as much as the trends actually favor it, just contemplating a shift is a glittering invitation to four emotional stalkers who love nothing better than to play a nasty game of team-tag at your personal expense. When you unmask these bandits -- even a little -- they begin to lose their emotional charge - leaving you free to more fully explore the opportunities to re-invent yourself.
Dont Let Difficult People Derail Your Career
Unless you are among the luckiest people in the world, or you are totally free of all relationships in the real world, you have to cope with difficult people in the course of your work.Difficult people are everywhere.
Expose Lies on Resumes
Purpose: Learn about the new Polygraph for management hiresHis heart dropped when he saw his boss from his current company walk into the interview room with his prospective new employer. In a flash, every exaggeration on his resume was known.
Interview Tips - Ten Top Dos & Donts for Winning Interviews
In this day and age it can become increasingly difficult to even get your foot in the door and get an interview; once you've accomplished that you will want to make sure you continue to put your best foot forward and nail the interview as well. Unfortunately, as great as their skills, experience and education are; the interview is where many people lose a job opportunity to their competition.
Are You an Ex-career Woman Living In a New Country?
Were you once a successful, professional woman who had a significant status level and received adequate remuneration for your work?Have you re-located to a new country where the educational degree you worked so hard to achieve is neither recognized nor considered valid?As a result, have you now settled for a job for which you are overqualified and living paycheck to paycheck?If you once had a successful professional career and answered yes to the above, you probaby understand how frustrating it is, to be unable to practice your profession in a new country.The decision to immigrate to another country is a courageous act which involves leaving everything that you know and everything that makes up who you are.
Writing a Must-Read Cover Letter
If you want to land an interview, you'll need more than a perfectly polished resume, you'll also need a perfectly polished cover letter.A cover letter does more than provide a mere introduction, it gives the employer an opportunity to see why you are the right candidate for the job-before she even takes a look at your resume! By taking the time to customize a cover letter to each job opportunity, you can almost guarantee that your resume will get a good look instead of landing a permanent home in the circular file-or worse, the recycling bin.