How To Identify What The Question Should I Get a Divorce? Means To You

Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not is an agonizing experience to go through. If you are asking yourself "should I get a divorce?", you've been thinking about your relationship's state for a while or an isolated incident (an example is an extramarital affair) that occurred was so terrible, that you want to just chuck it all and start over with a new life!

If you have been asking yourself "should I get a divorce?" for any length of time, you should figure out what is making you feel that way if you haven't already. Take the time to reflect back on why you're leaning towards divorce rather than working out your marriage problem. Once you identify the things that are making you feel like divorce is the right option, make a list of those things.

Once you make that list, go back through each item on the list that led you to asking yourself the question "should I get a divorce?". Look at each item on the list in depth and make certain you really deem those items as valid reasons for wanting a divorce, either in and of themselves or as a part of a common theme of reasons that make up a whole set.

Once you trim the list down to include only truly 'valid reasons', rank each reason in order of importance. Identify 2 reasons that hold the most weight to you and that contributed most to you asking yourself "should I get a divorce?".

After you accomplish this, decide if these reasons seem like things that can be changed for the better or if they are just flat out unrecoverable. Soul search and decide whether or not you are willing to do what it takes to try and fix the problem that is associated with these reasons.

Example: If one of your reasons for thinking about divorce is because your spouse is insanely jealous of you having friendly and/or purely plutonic relationships with members of the opposite sex, decide whether or not you are willing to socialize less with members of the opposite sex (or in a different manner) or do what it takes to ensure that your spouse understands and believes that you truly love him/her. If you aren't willing to do either of those things (or anything else it may take to change the situation), you have some serious long-term thinking to do about whether you really want to stay married.

If you have been asking yourself "should I get a divorce?" due to one isolated incident, you should re-live that isolated incident in your mind and identify why the isolated incident led you to the way that you feel now.

List the top 5 reasons that this incident hurt you to the extent it did (thinking about divorce). Then, think about what you feel the top 5 reasons are that led to the actual incident itself.

This is especially crucial because, even though it may be one isolated incident that caused you to think about divorce as an option, the reasons that led to that isolated incident may have been present for quite a while and need to be dealt with. The point is, just because one isolated incident 'happened', doesn't mean the execution of that incident is the true cause of the problem. Chances are there's much more to it, and finding out what those things are will help you identify the true story.

If you have been asking yourself "do I want a divorce?" and haven't prioritized why you feel that way, you aren't ready for divorce. What you are ready for however, is to go through soul searching to get to the root of the problem.

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Get the first 2 chapters free!
Get Free Chapters

Should I Get a Divorce

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Divorce Information:

Related Articles

Guide To Reducing The Cost Of Divorce
Seven Tips to help you keep more of your money at a time when you especially need it to support two households instead of one.Educate yourself.
Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case
1. Have an Clear Written Fee AgreementMost experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at the beginning of the case.
Credit and Divorce
Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts.
Divorce and the Stock Market
The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It is not very encouraging to enter into any kind of relationship knowing that it only has a 50/50 chance of being successful.
Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce
Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly.
Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes
1. What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of Household)Marital standing at year end determines your filing status for the entire year.
Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You
If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no courts, divorce would still be difficult and it would still take time to go through it. Divorce is at least a major crossroad in your life, maybe even a full-blown life crisis.
Divorce and Separation - A Child's Perspective
It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child.
Surviving Life After Divorce
After divorce, the most important thing you can do is to move forward sensibly. Here are ten steps to help you on your way back to a fulfilling life.
Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!
Let me preface this by saying right up front - this is NOT for everyone. The key is that my situation was friendly enough to still communicate with each other after we split.
Two Hearts Are Now One
It is fitting that I should write this story on Valentines Day, for this is a story of two broken hearts; healed and mended, then melted together as one--in an instant. This is a story of True Love.
An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates
Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law Firm, says they're not surprised by the sharp increase among Army divorce rates and that more needs to be done to counsel the spouses left at home and those deployed overseas."There's a huge difference between typical divorces that we see on a daily basis and the military divorces that we're seeing," says Janet Fritts, a divorce attorney with Rosen Law Firm.
Top 5 To Dos Before Saying "I Do"
1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of your biggest life-altering decisions.
Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural.
Love and Marriage Fairy Tale
When we were children we believed in fairy tales and happy ever after endings just like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and many other fairy tales. However, as we grow older, we soon realise that situations in real life do not always turn out as we would of expected our fairy tale to.
Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement
During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times.But in most marriages, this is not always the case.
Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce.
Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.
Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent
For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time.Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the divorcee can be overwhelming.
Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment.