What to Do When Your Boss Talks Too Much


By Steve Kaye


What do you do if your boss takes up your time talking about other people in the office? You may dislike hearing gossip, and you want to complete the work on your desk.

Here are some possibilities.

1) Defer the conversation. Say, "I'd really like to hear what you have to say, and I'm working on this project. How about if we talk later during lunch?" This often works, especially if you boss is seeking a distraction during a work break.

2) Coach your boss. Say, "When you stop by to talk, that keeps me from working. As a result, I have to take work home and put in extra hours. And that gives me a lot of stress. It would help me a lot if we could talk during my free time, such as lunch. Can we do that?"

3) Assert your needs. Say, "I feel very uncomfortable when you talk to me about my coworkers. And I'd rather not do that." or "I feel very uncomfortable talking about this." or "I'd rather not talk now. I'm want to get this work done."

4) Ask for help. Say, "I need your help with something. I feel very uncomfortable hearing news about my coworkers while I'm working. I wonder if we could talk about something else during my free time."

5) Change the subject. If your boss begins sharing gossip, bring up a work related topic. For example, you could ask for information ("How are sales doing in the Western Region?) or directions ("Say, I have a question about what you want done on this report.") or guidance ("I wonder if you can suggest a way to improve our meeting with the new client.")

6) Be helpful. When your boss approaches your desk, set the direction by asking questions such as, "How can I help you?" or "What do you need?" And if you boss brushes that aside by saying, "Oh, I just stopped by to talk." then defer the conversation.

7) Be busy. Few people will interrupt someone who is hard at work. And if your boss pauses by your desk, keep working for an extra moment. If your boss lingers or indicates a desire to talk, ask how you can help.

8) Create obstacles. Make it difficult for your boss (and everyone else) to talk to you. For example, close the door to your office or be away from your desk during those times when your boss is most likely to come by. Put a stack of books on the chair next to your desk. Or, when your boss approaches, say, "Is it something quick? I'm going to the rest room." Then leave.

Other important considerations:

1) Social conversation helps build relationships. So, ending all conversations with your boss could work against you.

2) If your boss is also talking about work related issues, you may have to listen to the social news as part of this. You can, however, express your discomfort with gossip. In that case consider actions 3 or 4 above.

3) Realize that some people like to (and need to) talk more than others. Listening to the office news may be an important part of maintaining a positive relationship with your boss.

- - -

Steve Kaye helps leaders hold effective meetings. He is an IAF Certified Professional Facilitator, author, and speaker. His meeting facilitation and leadership workshops create success for everyone. Call 714-528-1300 for details. Visit http://www.stevekaye.com for a free report.


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