Relationships Information

Relationships Information

Your Relationships Begin With You


As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty.

Essense of Infidelity


On one very popular web site there were 260 posts from both sexes commenting about forgiving and forgetting infidelities. I read every one of them.

Washroom Break


Picture yourself at a bar with some of your buddies. Everybody is having a good time.

Do Men Just Want Mommy?


Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd in her column titled "Men Just Want Mommy." She says powerful men want to marry women who are caretakers like secretaries, assistants, nannies, flight attendants, etc.

Better Than Help


One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family and friends frequently request is 'help'; help to change the situation. While I understand, and can relate only too well, to their sentiment, the term 'help' makes me feel uncomfortable.

The Flames of Love


Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good reputation, good relationships and lot of money to spend. But still there is something missing from your life.

Get Lucky In Your Love Life


Whether you are single or married, we all need luck in relationship and romance. It could be for getting a lifetime soul mate or to strengthen you relationship with your current spouse.

Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse


"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not very good at resolving problems, so I let it go.

Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs to Know and What You Can Do to Help


Recent statistics suggest that 40% of women (and that number is increasing) and 60% of men at one point indulge in extramarital affairs. Put those numbers together and it is estimated that 80% of the marriages will have one spouse at one point or another involved in marital infidelity.

46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair


Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. There is no copyright.

Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying


Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong.

Cheating Husband/Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy


When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them.Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario.

Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?


My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.Outrage can be intense: "How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don't spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you.

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge


Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to him/her and the other person.

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship


1. Be predictable.

More Articles from Relationships Information:
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10/15/2018 10:37 AM
Abuse and the Eggshell Skull Rule
It suddenly occurred to me, having written "a difference between a victim and a survivor", that there is subjectivity out there regarding who can legitimately claim they have been abused. I don't think it's a coincidence that I have just learned about the eggshell skull rule. It's worth knowing about.
10/15/2018 10:36 AM
Three Ways to Ease the Prohibitive Conscience
If our key formative relationships featured manipulation, because it was an easy way to control us, we may have developed what can be termed a prohibitive conscience - a conscience based in fear, operating out of guilt. Likewise, if we have encountered people who are controlling, and we haven't been brought up in such a way, such manipulation can be jarring.
10/15/2018 10:36 AM
Delighting In Dealing With Difficult People
You sense it straight away, booking an appointment over the phone. The person on the other end is efficient if not a little curt. With every second it seems there is a heightening urgency in their voice. You feel as if you're being intentionally problematic for them, even though you're diligently polite.
10/15/2018 10:33 AM
Kindness Is Differential Blindness
If life has taught me anything it is that I am selfish. I'm being honest. I don't see very well at times. But times when I do see well, I'm prone to going my own way. I like to agree with those who think like me, and I tend to judge people who think differently. I am not very kind at times. Indeed, I think it is more the case that kindness is something I've had to work on. It isn't something that comes naturally. I think this is the case for most of us.
10/15/2018 10:11 AM
The Thing About Trust
Trust is a dangerous thing. You give it when you determine it is deserved. We lavish it on those we esteem, those we have given leadership of our lives to.
10/08/2018 03:50 PM
Relationships: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Associate Love With Drama?
In the same way that some car journeys can be peaceful and obstacle free and some can be noisy and full of obstacles, relationships can also fall into one of these two categories. What is clear is that it is going to be far healthier for someone to be in a relationship that falls into the fist category than one that falls into the second.
10/01/2018 01:14 PM
Are You Relying On Luck To Get What You Want?
When I used to go to different bars and clubs on a regular basis many, many years ago, there were often men who would talk about how they hoped to 'get lucky'. Sometimes I knew the people who would say this and, at other times, this was something that I would overhear.
09/27/2018 05:12 PM
Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Settle Down If They Have Been With A Lot Of People?
In the past, it was the norm for people to wait until they were married before they had sex, and they would have most likely stayed with the same person until their time on this earth came to an end. Thanks, in part, due to the 'sexual liberation' of the 60s and 80s, this has all changed.
09/26/2018 01:53 PM
Social Media: Has Social Media Caused Some People To Trade Intimacy For Attention?
When someone shares something online, they can end up receiving a fair amount of attention, and this can allow them to feel good about themselves. Even so, what happens online might only be a small part of their life.
09/24/2018 03:18 PM
Don't Make Another Person The Centre Of Your World
When I was reading the book, 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway', there was a chapter that went into how important it was to have many different areas of interest in life, and not to put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak. The author, Susan Jeffers, pointed out that a lot of people make their partner the centre of their life.
09/20/2018 01:09 PM
Dating: Should Someone Be Suspicious If Another Person Acts Extremely Interested In The Beginning?
If someone was to come across a dog, and this dog was to jump up down, making it clear that he/she was pleased to see them, there would be no reason for them to wonder what was going on. This is due to the fact that this just what dogs are like; they don't need a reason to be warm and responsive.
09/13/2018 11:10 AM
What Was Cute In Romance May Become Acute In Conflict
A number of years ago I read a few books by David Richo, and this is someone who really knows what he is talking about. Whether it is relationships or self-development in general, his books are packed full of insights.
09/10/2018 01:36 PM
Why You and Me Doesn't Equal Three
Art therapy class taught me a lot. It consisted of a period of reflective expression in the form of a created piece of art, which was followed by a period of group therapy. It was amazing what took place through sharing what we had drawn, written, painted or sculpted.
09/10/2018 01:36 PM
Safe Versus Unsafe Emotions
Emotions belong in two worlds or in two domains. They are either healthy or unhealthy, productive or unproductive, primary or secondary, direct or indirect, safe or unsafe.
09/10/2018 01:34 PM
How Do I Know If I Should Help You or Not?
I have a real problem. If I listen to others, I really don't know whether I should help you or not. Actually, I do know, but it occasionally gets me into trouble, because at times I have offered to help those that some I know don't want me to help. For all manner of reason, good reasons and not-so-good reasons, helping sometimes creates problems in my relationships.
09/10/2018 01:33 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Lose Themselves When They Get Into A Relationship?
When two people get together and start a relationship, they can both have their own life. There is going to be how one person likes spend to their life and then there is going to be how the other person likes to spend their life.
09/06/2018 10:29 AM
What Did Your Parents Teach You About Men And Women?
I remember reading 'Family Secrets' by John Bradshaw and in this book he said, "it was and is your parents' actually lives that educated you: not what they said, but what they did". I took this to mean that what my parents did was far more important than what came out of their mouth.
09/05/2018 02:52 PM
Here's a Person to Be Wary of
The world is full of lovely people, so don't get me wrong if this sounds a bit far-fetched or gets us talking about negative things too much. But the fact is there are people in our lives that gain far too much access to us.
08/29/2018 11:33 AM
Can 'iron Sharpens Iron' Become an Excuse for Abuse?
Another goblet of gold from my wife, here. The conversation went this way: Me: you say that 'encouragement is sometimes about finding the right time for iron to sharpen iron.' Does that mean we just need to wait for the right time to give someone a truth they may not like to hear? Wife: I think it's more complicated than that. There's more to be considered. Iron sharpening iron, as a method of encouragement, must be a tremendously complex idea. There's a stand-alone article in that. Me: okay. That sounds exciting.
08/29/2018 11:31 AM
Don't Crush What You Need to Blossom
This is another wise saying of my wife's. 'Don't crush the flower before it gets its chance to blossom.' Now, I am not really a gardener, but I have it on good authority that flowering plants need to be planted and tended well before they can mature. The same theory fits with human beings, whether it is in families, workplaces, churches, or marriages.
08/27/2018 11:31 AM
A Front and Rear Guard for the Heart
I awoke as I normally do with the thought, what will I speak on today, and what will I write? Sometimes I already have the idea, but not this day. And then I read Acts chapter 14, and I see two words that summarise what Paul and the brothers were up against on that first missionary journey. First I see the opposition that they faced. The second thing I see is the flattery they encounter. Two completely opposite, and yet equally dangerous spirits, but both replete with opportunity.
08/20/2018 09:44 AM
Relational Silence That Sabotages or Restores
As a counsellor and a champion for peacemaking, I find there are two noteworthy kinds of silence that occur within conflict. One is very dynamic, but the other is very destructive.
08/20/2018 09:43 AM
My Irregular Relationship With Compassion Fatigue
I must say, that what still comes very much without warning, I still find hard to deal with, but I know in being honest I can trust my method. I have an irregular relationship with compassion fatigue, in that I feel I am sucked dry of empathy at times to the point where I have nothing left. Times like this I'm irrational in what I say, I complain, and I can't quite seem to find space and outlet for recovery. It is generally the night's sleep that brings me out of it.
08/20/2018 09:39 AM
Nurture or Neglect?
'I have a lot of room for growth,' I said as a parting shot at church one day. And the mentor I had just conversed with quipped back, 'Yes, well, growth depends on the environment you're planted in, doesn't it?'
08/20/2018 09:37 AM
The Relational Beauty of Empathy
It has long been a mystery to me just why on earth some people have an excess of empathy and some people have a dearth of it. At one end of the spectrum we have people so empathic they end up in relationships with those at the other end of the spectrum - those at the narcissistic end. I don't think it's useful in the present discussion to focus on the latter, because the former are so much more worthy of discussion and praise.
08/17/2018 12:21 PM
Relationships: How Can A Woman Tell If A Man Is Unavailable?
Although a woman may find that it is relatively easy for her to attract a man, what she may also find is that she is unable to find a man who actually wants a relationship. This may mean that she has been with a number of men who were emotionally unavailable.
08/17/2018 12:13 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Try To Take Other People's Pain Away?
Pain is something that everyone on the planet experiences and, therefore, it is one of the things that connect human beings. However, although pain is something that can't be avoided, it doesn't mean that everyone is willing to accept this.
08/17/2018 12:04 PM
Relationships: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Cause Someone To Attract People Who Are Unavailable?
There are a number of things that can stop one from being able to have a fulfilling relationship, and ending up with someone who is unavailable will be one of the things that will stop them from being able to fulfil this need. When this takes place, they can find it hard to understand how this has happened.
08/17/2018 11:42 AM
Relationships: Why Do Some Women Always Attract Men Who Are Aloof?
When a woman has the tendency to end up with men who are unavailable, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on her wellbeing. Her desire to be with a man who is available is not going to be met, so it is to be expected that this won't be something that she can simply overlook.
08/17/2018 11:41 AM
Relationships: Why Are Some Men Only Interested In Women Who Need To Be Saved?
When a man and a woman are together, and they are both in touch with their power, there will be no need for one of them to try to rescue the other. They will both have boundaries and they won't be carrying too much baggage.
08/17/2018 10:53 AM
Heeding the Walking-Away Moment
There are at least two opportunities to walk away with wisdom: To walk away from something permanently that has lasted for too long, and, to walk away from something temporarily where space is required. Knowing how and when to make these two decisions requires wisdom.
08/17/2018 10:47 AM
Do Some People Need To Experience A Few Bad Relationships Before They Can Appreciate A Good One?
There are some people who will feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is not abusive, while there will be others who won't. Therefore, if someone who can relate to the former was to end up with someone who is abusive, they would probably soon walk away.
07/29/2018 05:19 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Focus On Other People's Problems?
Even though one will have their own life to lead while they are on this planet, it doesn't mean that they will actually have their own life. Instead, they could end up spending most of their tine focusing on other people's problems.
07/28/2018 07:45 PM
Could Stress Be Distressing Your Relationships?
So many people I encounter are under the direct burden of stress. Levels of general anxiety in the population today are as high as at any other time in the history of the world. And yet, as you read this you might be like much of the world, living in comparative luxury compared to others who cannot read this, and there are those historically who have faced much harder realities than we do today, yet possibly experienced less general anxiety. These below are just four items on what would be a long list.
07/28/2018 07:44 PM
How the Best Advice I Ever Got Hurt Before Its Truth Hit Home
It seemed so simple, but I was gobsmacked by the profoundness of what was said. There, as I lay there, my wife scooped in my arms, in bed to sleep, I was wide awake with awe, at the advice I had five minutes earlier heard my wife utter to me.
07/28/2018 07:44 PM
The Dynamics of Love and Control in Relationships
For some, in some situations, love is neither the desire nor do we have its agency. Love's not so easy. Situations like these we feel controlled or we act out of a need to have control. Relationship in this way is about taking and demanding and not giving or letting go. No matter what we try to do, the person we want to love will not receive that love. Whatever we give doesn't seem to be enough or even the right thing; it isn't perceived as loving.
07/28/2018 07:43 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Have The Need To Be Needed'?
While there are people who are not interested in trying to rescue or save other people, there are others who are. As a result of this, some people will be repelled by these kinds of people and some will be drawn to them like bees to a honey pot.
07/23/2018 12:49 PM
Want Control? Then Take Your Responsibility
What I write about below is personal psychology 101. Most people in life want control over their life. Indeed, that's a huge understatement. We all want more control over life and our lives than we can seize. But this want of control, when needing control becomes an idol, creates situations where, most often, we surrender control. Here's how that works.
07/21/2018 11:32 AM
The Prodigal Son and His Brother
The Prodigal Son is a parable told by Jesus about the younger son who demanded his inheritance from father and then once he got it went to a faraway land where he squandered his inheritance. This article about his older brother who continued to work for his father during the time his little brother was away.
07/21/2018 11:28 AM
Responsibility and Control in Relationship
There is one key determinant in gauging mental, emotional, and spiritual health. To what extent does a person have the capability to take their responsibility versus their propensity to control others.
07/21/2018 11:28 AM
The Power in Naming the Game to Take Its Power Away
One of the healthiest devices known in the field of counselling is the concept of naming what is going on in the room. As I was reminded recently, one way of looking at this is to imagine each phenomenon as the game. There is incredible value in naming a game.
07/21/2018 11:27 AM
When a Relationship Is Not What We Hope
There are times in all our lives when there is a relationship that doesn't quite meet our hopes. There is a particular kind of relationship that continues to elude us with a loved one or a friendship that has experienced fracture.
07/19/2018 11:48 AM
Relationships: Can Smartphones Destroy Relationships?
In the same way that it is easy for someone not embrace each day of the week due to being completely absorbed in what will happen at the weekend, it is also just as easy for them to ignore the people in their life due to being completely absorbed in their Smartphone. In each of these cases, the present moment won't be fully embraced.
07/16/2018 10:22 PM
You CAN Learn To Make Yourself Feel Safe
Growing up, many of us didn't feel at all safe in our households. Many of us had parents or other caregivers who were physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abusive or neglectful. We had to find ways to manage this lack of safety, so we learned to numb out, eat or use other substances, be good, be bad or try to be perfect, or project the fear on something other than our parents, because acknowledging that it was our parents causing our fear caused more fear.
07/16/2018 08:28 AM
Are You In A Relationship With Someone Who Is More Like Your Son/Daughter?
The other day I was thinking about how there were times when I had come across couples who appeared to be out of balance. When this was the case, it was as though it was more like a parent-child relationship and not an adult to adult relationship.
07/16/2018 08:27 AM
Responsibility Makes and Breaks Relationships
The blessing we receive in taking responsibility is we take control of everything we can control, and we surrender control for everything that is beyond our control. And that is wisdom.
07/15/2018 06:49 PM
How Much Control Do You Need?
The fact is we are in bondage to anything we have to control, whether it is people, the possessions we have, the circumstances of our lives, and especially how events we are involved in play out. Whatever we have to control controls us, and we're tempted to use what controls us, to control others.
07/14/2018 11:19 AM
The Peace You Seek in a Warring World
Spend any time watching social media and you soon discover that the world seems to be going crazy. There are sides in everything. Politics has its left and right. Church has its fundamentals and liberals. There are feminists and misogynists. Pro-lifers and those for pro-choice. Those for and against same-sex marriage. People who believe in euthanasia and those who don't. This article is nothing about any of these issues.
07/08/2018 09:54 AM
That Relationship You Need a Miracle for
We've all been in this place. And yet, another grief falls upon us. There is a relationship that shatters us in the process of its shattering. Whether the relationship is intact or not is immaterial. There is a grief in both aspects of relationship: in absence especially, but also in presence. Ask the spouse of the one with dementia. What was so precious is gone, forever. Sometimes presence resembles absence in the cruellest of ways.
07/08/2018 09:53 AM
Making Sense of the Attitude of Forgiveness
If I'm a student of grief, I'm also a student of conflict, and whilst understanding of grief leads to acceptance, understanding of conflict leads to forgiveness. This is the premise: When you forgive you let go of what you cannot control.


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