A Sweep of Vanity: How To Burst Your Own Bubble

"Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!" --William Shakespeare, "The Life of Timon of Athens"

If there's one characteristic we hope we don't have, it's vanity. We'd rather be considered aggressive, driven, petty, even mean than have others feel that we think too much of ourselves.

Isn't that hilarious?

We're all vain. The world appears to revolve around us because we literally can't see it any other way. Our reality is constructed entirely of our perceptions of how everyone and everything responds to us. It's impossible to remove ourselves from the center of our own universe.

That's our starting point, anyway. We want to veer toward selflessness, but no matter how hard we try, we remain rooted to the idea that how others see us really matters.

Oh, sure, we can pretend we're beyond that. We can say that we don't give a hoot about what others think of us. But even that is a bit of a conundrum--it's more likely that we care that others think we don't care what they think! See what I mean?

"Vanity is so secure in the heart of men that everyone wants to be admired; even I who write this, and you who read this." Blaise Pascal, French mathematician & writer

It certainly doesn't escape me that it takes a hefty amount of vanity to think that others will be interested in reading what I write. I struggle with the concept of vanity on several levels--as a 43-year-old woman in America trying to deal with aging and the expectations of our society, as a writer sending out articles every week, as a mind masseuse helping clients. That's all about me when you get down to it. Plenty of vanity in this picture.

Like most people, I want to do good work, and I want to feel validated by others for that work. Is that so wrong?

Well, no. We all engage in activities throughout the day for our own benefit, and we hope that what we do will end up helping other people. Confidence and self- interest are essential in any work and in all service to others. Pride can move us toward having a more powerful and positive impact on the world.

How do we keep vanity in check?

"The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that's laughable is vanity." Henri Bergon, French philosopher and Nobel prize winner

That's right. Laugh! The most important step you can take to make sure you aren't headed down that vanity path is to recognize that you ARE. And the greatest way to spin around and head toward humility is to laugh at yourself.

There's plenty to laugh about. What makes you care so much about how you look to others, anyway? Isn't it silly how much time and effort you put into making a good impression? Isn't it hilarious to recognize that everybody else is earnestly working to make a good impression, too? What if we all just relaxed and had a big belly laugh over how ridiculous we are? We'd get more done, and we'd have more fun doing it.

We take ourselves far too seriously. We should seize every opportunity to poke fun at our affectations. When we break down that facade we've so carefully crafted, we invite everyone else to join us. It's the most effective way to connect with others and encourage a more lighthearted focus on what's really important.

One way to stay real about yourself is to intentionally select a goofy title. Forget the traditional chief-of- operations, vice-president-of-marketing, sales-division- manager options. I choose to call myself a "mind masseuse" because it sounds silly. The image of someone poking their fingers into your brain is wacky. It makes people smile. (Okay, so it's vain to care about what others think. At least I can laugh about it!)

My husband owns his own business. Most people would refer to him as a CEO or president. Not him. He orchestrates the distribution of Bodylinx magnetic jewelry, so he refers to himself as a "magnetic conductor". He adds this title to every email and letter he sends, and people appreciate his humorous approach.

Why not have a little fun with your description of your work? Fancy titles are laughable in their vanity. Even if your work requires you to maintain a certain level of decorum, come up with your own title for yourself that makes you smile. It'll keep you from getting too puffed up.

"A man who is not a fool can rid himself of every folly except vanity." Jean Jacques Rousseau, another French philosopher

Next time you find yourself studiously protecting your image, just grin. You're human. Vanity is a natural tendency, and one you're bound to hang on to despite your best efforts. Recognize it, laugh at it, and don't be shy about sharing that realization with others.

It will make you a more excellent human where it matters most--in the eyes of those you love.

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.

maya@massageyourmind.com

More Resources

Doing Your Lifes Work
Most people want to do their life's work. Some people are able to separate work completely from life and be happy doing anything, but this is not the norm.
9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise
Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way you communicate in your business and personal lives. It functions as a front porch for two reasons: 1) It equips you with the confidence of knowing exactly who you are; and 2) It magnetizes others to you because they admire and respect those who know exactly who they are.
Dont Be Afraid to Let Other People See Who You Really Are!
Do you know anybody that you consider to be particularly engaging and lively? Take a moment to picture that person in your mind. What is it about that person that you find most attractive? He or she may have a charming voice and a great laugh, but it is also very likely that you find their face very expressive.
Be Your Own Best Friend
What does being a "best friend" mean to you? I imagine that just about everyone is or has been a best friend to someone in their lives. I encourage you to take some time and examine what being someone's best friend really means.
Birthing Your Dream
Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure about the process, wondering if you are stepping out too far this time? Will God bless your dream, or is it His dream you're nurturing? Consider a pregnant woman. We've all had opportunity to observe the process, if not actually experience it.
Digging To The Root Of Your Problem
Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would like to change. But how often do you dig deeply to find the root of the problem?You have to address the issues that need to be changed.
How To Bypass Your Conscious Mind and Program Yourself For Success
Emile Coué, the French psychotherapist once said: "When theimagination and will power are in conflict, are antagonistic, itis always the imagination which wins, without any exception."Then you can program yourself for success by understanding thepower of imagination.
7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
Affirmations Based on Rich Dad, Poor Dad
I'm sure most of you have heard of, and perhaps read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it along with his book "Cashflow Quadrant.
Secrets Of Energy
Lotus dakini gathers energy.When wanting and grasping hold swayThe dakini has you in her power.
You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails
Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the meaning of the word "metamorphosis" and how it can possibly be of interest to IT Service Management. Metamorphosis: Noun (plural metamorphoses - say metuh´mawfuhseez) ? "the change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation; the structural or functional modification of a plant organ or structure during its development.
Simple Truths for Change, Healing, and a Magnificent Life!
Many people on the planet are realizing that the key to a healthier, happier and life of abundance can be distilled into simple truths. We live in a complex and cluttered world.
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single".
How to Be Irresistible to Women
You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she'll want to hear from you again real soon:1.
The Wealth-Receiving Mindset
Here is an exercise for you that will develop what I call the wealth-receiving mindset:I want you to think about the time in your life when you had the most money you have ever had.I don't care if the most money you've ever had was ten bucks, I want you to think about it right now.
Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it?Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up!Have you ever felt the breeze on your face, either during a hot-air balloon ride or by sticking your head through the car sunroof? It wakes your senses up, doesn't it?And on a scale of 1-10 how much does your heart bump, body shake and senses wake when you do your day job? I bet you can practically do the tasks with your eyes shut. In fact I bet there are days when you feel like you did have your eyes shut?Most people don't feel awakened by their day jobs.
Be Not Afraid of Greatness
Have you noticed how the workplace seems to be a little more stressful if not downright hostile, how each day you feel a little more reluctant to get out of bed to go to a job you don't really like. Have you noticed how the workday seems a little longer and the job a little less fulfilling.
Thought and The Law of Attraction
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.
Heal Thyself First
As I connect with more and more women I am seeing that many have a desperate need for a man. I had one woman tell me that her ex-boyfriend put a gun to her head and told her to get out of his life.
It Doesnt Take Long To Become An Expert in The Law of Attraction
One of our Faculty, Christine Edick, has been the keynote speaker for several conferences for people in the 'career transition' industry. She received this short story, from one of the attendees, which demonstrates how easy it is to understand the Law of Attraction and to teach it to others.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Do You Have What It Takes To Attract What You Want?
When you were a kid, did you play with magnets? They were almost magical, weren't they? It was always exhilarating to bring the magnet close to another object and to begin to feel that slight pulling sensation followed by the--snap--as the magnet and the other object became one. And, equally, it was always a little disappointing when the magnet didn't stick to the hoped-for object of attraction.
7 Ways To Make a Great First Impression
When you have an important event to attend there are 7 great ways to make sure you perform at your very best. These tips are relevant for social events and business meetings.
Closing the Feedback Loop
In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importanceof becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggestthat listening might be the most important communication skill of them all.
Dont Seek Success; Seek Self-Actualization
"You make a living by what you get.You make a life by what you give.
Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love
In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I explain in detail how to practically use a plant material to attract things to you, so refer to that if you have never used plant matter in magic before.In brief, the main methods of using plant material to draw love are: carrying the substance on your person in a locket or a sachet, boiling the herb and sprinkling the residual water around your residence, putting a sprig of it under your bed or in your pillow and burning it as incense.
What is the Key to a Successful Life?
An ideal is not the dream that can never be realised, that certain weak-willed individuals like to imagine, if only to provide themselves with an excuse for moaning about life. Nor is it a vague and flimsy speculation in which shallow people want to indulge.
Be Grateful for Gratitude
In Twelve Step meetings, it's traditional to groan when someone says, "Let's have a gratitude meeting." People don't like to talk or think about what they're grateful for.
The Monkey And The Spreadsheet
When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt restless, it helped to understand drives. The mind perceived, recognized and interpreted.
Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take
I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged me to decide whether I was a coach, a writer, or a TV personality.
Yes You Can
If you could change one thing in your life today, what would it be? Why don't you have some of the things you'd like to have, and why do you have some? What's the reason for the inconsistency?Do you find yourself wondering what people think of you? Has that line of thinking ever made you doubt your abilities and your potential?Do you ever catch yourself thinking 'I can't do that, I'm not good enough' or 'that level of success and prosperity is for them, not for poor old me', or other similar thoughts?One thing you must realize is that your success in any venture starts with your thoughts about it. If you think you can succeed (in losing weight, stopping smoking, securing a high-income- paying job, finding your ideal partner, etc, etc), you're already on your way to getting what you want.
So You Want To Win the Lottery
If we all got everything we wanted, most of us would have won the lottery by now. So what happens when we notice that we aren't getting what we want, even when we've been using Law of Attraction to manifest a particular desire for an extended period of time?Wanting to win the lottery is a clear desire, therefore, you need to use Law of Attraction deliberately.
Getting What You Want Most From Other People
Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more thananything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficultit can be to turn the situation around.
How To Make A Strong First Impression: Seven Tips That Really Work
We have all heard this warning: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Also, human behavior specialists caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
The Magic of Mike
The woman stood over the stove stirring a pot of hot soup.She prepared it to ward off the bitter Minnesota cold, a cover-every-inch-of-your-skin cold, the kind that bites you and never lets go, the kind that makes auto engines demand heaters or they refuse to start.
What Love and Money Have in Common
How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown our love away on some undeserving and ungrateful lover? Have you ever found yourself muttering something about an ex that included the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?No, of course you wouldn't dream of turning the air blue with strong statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted.
Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today!
"If you can see it, you can have it." Is it really so simple? The answer is 'Yes'.
No Ifs, Ands Or Buts
If we could choose right now, this moment, how we would live,And,Knowing, that the only way we could live the way we choose, is to be who we truly are..
Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift
In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life.
How To Master The Art of Conversation
The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.
How Often Each Day Should I Read or Say My Desire Statement?
The purpose of the Desire Statement is to support you in giving attention, energy and focus to your newly birthed desire. It teaches you how to language desires so they feel good.