Heal Thyself First

As I connect with more and more women I am seeing that many have a desperate need for a man. I had one woman tell me that her ex-boyfriend put a gun to her head and told her to get out of his life. Stop following him, stop calling him and leave him alone. This woman felt that he was just having a "bad day" and wanted to know when would be a good time to call him and tell him that she loves him. I was absolutely amazed. This is definitely a woman who doesn't love herself. Why would she constantly pursue a person who clearly doesn't want her?

I recently read that it takes 11 years to totally get over the hurt of a past relationship. Although you have moved on the pain still lingers on. So imagine if you leave one relationship for another relationship for another relationship, that is at least over thirty years of healing. Who wants to go through that many years of hurt and trying to heal?

I have learned from personal experience that when you go from one relationship to another, you are not allowing yourself time to heal. You go into the new relationship with the scars and battle wounds from the past relationship. Although you are thirsty for love you still cause drama because you are not able to let go of that past relationship. You are standing in a karate position waiting to block any situation that comes your way because you fear being hurt again.

Usually when you go from one relationship to another you are desperate and will allow the first man or woman to enter your life, knowing that this isn't the person you would have given the time of day to in the past. So this relationship has started on a bad foot from the beginning because you are settling to fill a void in your life.

In order to heal, like in any situation you have to give it time. You must take the time to enjoy your own company again and learn to love yourself again. This is the time to start working on getting your finances in order so that when the right person comes you don't have to be financially needy. Start working on your home so that you will feel good about where you live. Start working on your spirituality so that you will realize that you are never alone. Get a makeover so that you can feel good about yourself again. When we lose someone special we tend to believe it had something to do with us and then we develop a low self-esteem. Start working on your dream, whether it is going back to school, taking a vacation or jumping from an airplane. This is the time to make your hopes, dreams and wishes come true.

When you have created a life you are proud of then you are less emotionally needy. You can go to the next relationship feeling more secure with yourself because you have made accomplishments in your life without the help of a significant other. Once you are happy with self and feel that you truly have it "going on" then you are ready to allow love in your life again. In the past when I have felt the most content in my life is when romance has come to me.

Today I challenge you if you are between relationships to start working on you and start working on your dreams. I guarantee that once you are at peace with yourself then you will be ready for the relationship made in heaven.

About The Author

Rondell Demmings refers to herself as a Vision Coach. She assist individuals in envisioning the life that they want to live and then taking the action to make that vision a reality. After living a life that was not authentic to her, she took steps to create the life she wanted to live. After eighteen years of Federal Employment she walked away from her good paying job to pursue her dream of being a coach. She specializes in personal growth, self-awareness and life transformation. Through her program "How to Get Your Groove Back" conducted on an individual or group basis, she motivates individuals to make positive changes in their life and to live a life that is authentic to self. She also assists home-based psychic/tarot readers in building clients and profits through marketing, training and consulting.

Contact her for a free 45-minute coaching session.

Email: Rondell@visionsilluminated.com

Website: http://www.visionsilluminated.com

Phone: 216-478-0302 or 1-877-869-0306

More Resources

Get a New Attitude
One of the first and foremost things to do to change your life is to change your attitude. Attitude is fundamental to the success or failure that we experience in our life.
Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing!
I wish you never have to go through that kind of pain!Last week, I was on the breath-taking island of Puerto Rico at a resort on the beach enjoying the crashing waves of the ocean and the cool breeze. If you don't know by now, I am an observer.
Its All Up to You (Nobody is Coming to Save You!)
As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely true. Wherever we are in our lives and whatever we are doing, it is because we have put ourselves there.
A New Beginning With The People At Work
There's a big opportunity here! The holidays bring a change in spirit in most folks. Even though they may be more tired than usual from all the demands of the season, they are filled with holiday cheer.
Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness
I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing.
Yes You Can
If you could change one thing in your life today, what would it be? Why don't you have some of the things you'd like to have, and why do you have some? What's the reason for the inconsistency?Do you find yourself wondering what people think of you? Has that line of thinking ever made you doubt your abilities and your potential?Do you ever catch yourself thinking 'I can't do that, I'm not good enough' or 'that level of success and prosperity is for them, not for poor old me', or other similar thoughts?One thing you must realize is that your success in any venture starts with your thoughts about it. If you think you can succeed (in losing weight, stopping smoking, securing a high-income- paying job, finding your ideal partner, etc, etc), you're already on your way to getting what you want.
What Will It Cost You?
What will it cost you if you don't do it?Everyone has a secret dream that they nourish in their hearts.Yet many of these dreams never emerge beyond mere wishful thinking.
Electrical Deficiencies
Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our sensors are designed to detect conductors of energy that have the power to stir our feelings.It is this power we long for in particular individuals that manage to stir these responses in us, whether they manage to match their negatives with our positives or vice versa, generating a current we are unconsciously plugged into and are likely to become hooked on like junkies, particular currents determined by our electrical weaknesses and deficiencies, and the energy levels and forms we actually need to complement and supplement this malnutrition.
Be The Chooser
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experiencethem."-- Khalil GibranOur life works and can be full of joy when we make effectivechoices.
True Friends Are Not Dream-Slashers
A friendship poem:Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paintIs who you are and who you ain't.Friendship is life's great supportWhen friends are of the right sort.
Creating Your Future
The questions of life may call to you. You may wonder about your purpose.
How Anyone Can Manifest Anything!
My mother taught me how to teach others about the power of the mind. By learning how to teach her, I learned how to communicate essential wealth-building ideas to others.
So, The Thing Is... We Reap What We Sow
So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few weeks ago, my daughters and I planted some seeds.
Guiltless Contentment
'Have I stopped dreaming?' 'Why am I not as stressed?' 'Why am I not on the 'move' like most people of my age?' Is something really amiss?'Guilt in Contentment?Is there really such a thing as guilt in feeling contented?"Guilt may come from comparing your living conditions to others and not living up to your own standards. It arises from unreasonable demands on yourself especially when you fashion your life to someone else's," wrote Maxwell Maltz, M.
When Will Love Find me?
Love. You may notice that I made that an entire sentence.
What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?
In my private practice for the past 15 years I have discoveredhow hungry we are to find deep fulfillment and loving, make wisechoices for ourselves and the planet, and walk in union with ourhigher guidance.Yet our days are filled with endless, empty lists of have-tos,shoulds, and must-dos.
How to Improve Your Love Life with the Power of Feng Shui - Without Spending a Dime!
FENG shui (say "fung shway") is the art of creating a home environment that supports the life you wish to live. A key element of feng shui is creating a smooth flow of chi (positive energy) through your space.
Step-By-Step Guide to Manifest Your Desires
I have been talking about manifestation for a long time. My intention is to make people be aware of the unlimited power they have been given since the moment they were born and hopefully I can help to awaken their inner potential to get them connected back to the source of creation.
My Other Life is Exciting, is Yours?
Everyone dreams of a more exciting life or a life that is different to the one they are living now.As you dream about your other life, you know the one, where you're slimmer or fatter or the one where you meet your perfect partner and live happily ever after or you have a million dollars or you pass the exam and go to the top of the class, the dreams go on and on and we all have them.
The Joy Of Living In The Zone
What do people want most in the world? What is the most sought-after goal? From the moment we awaken to the moment we close our eyes at night, what is it we seek every minute of the day?We want to feel good. The primary motivation behind every action we take is the desire to feel happy.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Universal Law
Have you ever had "one of those days" when absolutely everything goes wrong? Have you ever wondered why some people are successful, while others spend their entire lives struggling? Do you ever get the feeling that someone is out to get you because everything you touch goes wrong?If you're like most people, these thoughts do occur to you from time to time. But what is the answer to these questions? Is it a question of luck, could it be fate or is there something else going on here of which most people are unaware?The answer is both all around us and within us, and is called Universal Law.
How We Evolved Into An Un-Charming Culture...(And What To Do About It)
Charm did not play a very large role in that arrangement. But times have changed (thank goodness) since the days of those primitive humans, and these days, charm can play a tremendous role in a leader's ascension to power, either in politics or business.
What Keeps You From Your Destiny
Heading back to the car after lunch, a good-looking guy with a swagger caught my attention.Or rather his t-shirt did!Emblazoned across his back were the words, 'I create the havoc that keeps me from my destiny.
Mind Your Mind
Three Secrets to Effective Affirmations:1 Drive your Physiology - by this I mean get yourself into adynamic state of mine by moving your body energetically. I findwalking quickly, cycling or jumping around the house whilelistening to loud music, all very effective for me.
Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?
"Bad Boys".If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm" as you hear these words.
How To Know You Are Living Your Dream
How To Prove To Yourself That You Are Going After Your Big Dream.I have a personal story to share with you that happened not that long ago.
How Anyone Can Manifest Anything!
My mother taught me how to teach others about the power of the mind. By learning how to teach her, I learned how to communicate essential wealth-building ideas to others.
The Way of Attraction - Walking the Path
"Slowly, slowly, walk the pathand you might never stumble or fall.Slowly, slowly walk the path and you might never fall in love at all.
Choose Your Friends, Choose Your Fate
When I was about 10 years, I got a t-shirt from my uncle and aunt that said "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're hanging out with a bunch of turkeys." I really didn't know what it meant at the time, so I didn't think anything of it.
My Assignment ... If You Didnt Create It, Then Its Not Yours!
Life consists of lessons. Living is continual learning.
Use Your Reset Button to Change Your Vibration
At every moment you can tell if the vibration that you are sending is either a positive one or a negative one by identifying the feeling you are experiencing. At every moment you have a feeling and that feeling is causing you to emit or send off a vibration - and in the 'vibrational' world there are only two kinds of vibrations; positive or negative.
10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3
Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success..
Achieving Your Definite Major Purpose
(Excerpts From The Book)Successercising"The Science Of Success Achievement Course"The Equivalent To A PhD In Success From The University Of Hard KnocksIn his all time best selling book, Think And Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill mentions in his first chapter that throughout the book he will be referring many times to "The Carnegie Secret." He said he would not tell you what that secret is, but when you are ready, it will jump off the page and into your brain.
Crack the Clandestine Code of Diamonds
Precious, brilliant and expensive-why wouldn't diamonds be a girl's best friend? When giving the most significant gift of a lifetime, most men, and even the women who receive them, know precious little about diamonds. By the time they're old and experienced enough to know about cut, shape, grade, brilliance, color, weight, and setting, they already have the diamond of a lifetime.
Get a New Attitude
One of the first and foremost things to do to change your life is to change your attitude. Attitude is fundamental to the success or failure that we experience in our life.
I Believe In Man
I have a deep and abiding belief that there lies within every person the capacity for greatness. I don't mean the old adage that you can become anything you want to be -- I'm more receptive to Peter F.
Intuition and Instinct, Our Friends
Say the word 'intuition,' and some cringe. It sounds too new-age, too touchy-feely.
Whats Your Plan? Designing Your Future
So you have set your goals for the year. Congratulations!I have come to believe most of us set our goals for incorrect reasons.
Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing!
I wish you never have to go through that kind of pain!Last week, I was on the breath-taking island of Puerto Rico at a resort on the beach enjoying the crashing waves of the ocean and the cool breeze. If you don't know by now, I am an observer.
7 Tips to Make a Fantastic Impression on People Who Count
Making a fabulous impression on people opens doors for your business, personal, and career endeavors. People like charming people who make them feel comfortable.