The Metrosexual Male vs. The Cowboy - What Do Women Want?

He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a t-shirt and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His hair never has a bad day. His nails are clean and buffed. His clothes are perfectly pressed and exquisitely coordinated. He smells like flowers and spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual man.

As many of you know by now, the term "metrosexual" was coined by a journalist (and gay man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new kind of urban male who is straight, but in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to show it. Essentially, metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and show an interest in things that have traditionally belonged in the female domain.

You may have a metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend (ex). These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. They can discuss fashion, will notice your great new shoes, buy their grooming products from the same places you do and have no qualms about having a manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually TALK to these guys about something other than sports, cars and other traditionally male interests. These are the guys you can take to the opera, symphony and ballet. The perfect man, right? Depends on whom you talk to.

Let's step back a minute and look at the where and how of the existence of the metrosexual man. Simply put, he is a by-product of feminism and the changing roles and related expectations of women. As women have moved into (previously) male dominated environments and roles, it has caused a shift in the male-female balance. Women are now active participants in industry, politics and the professions- to name a few. However, as they have left their old jobs as homemakers and full-time domestic caregivers, they left a lot of empty space to be filled. Childcare providers and the domestic cleaning industry could provide some of this. The problem was all the "other" stuff women had always done.

Men were therefore called upon to contribute more to the raising of children, housework, cooking, shopping, etc. Their sons were being exposed a new role model, a dad who took on jobs and chores that had traditionally belonged to mom. Young boys themselves were also being tapped to do housework and help with siblings, exposing them to a new way of being a male in our society. Women had become more independent and financially and professionally successful. Men had become more domestic and had to soften their style as they moved into more traditionally feminine roles.

A new social order had evolved that worked for everyone, right? Not necessarily. We never take on something new without giving something up. So, what has been discarded? Clearly defined social roles and the expectations that come with them- for starters. Suddenly there was a new blueprint for how men and women should relate- especially in the world of dating. However, it was unclear and depending upon whom you asked, you would get a different answer. Usher in the confusion and frustration surrounding dating in the new millennium.

Women ask questions such as:

* who asks who out
* who calls who
* who pays
* who makes decisions about where to go, etc.
* What are the expectations at the end of the date
* how soon should we become intimate

Women comment on:

* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her out
* his expectation that they will go dutch
* how he never offers to pick her up
* his overall lack of assertiveness
* his saying he will call, but not following through
* his too polished style which lacks a certain spark of masculinity
* his taking longer to get ready than she does
* his crudeness or over aggressive style
* his expectation that they will have sex

Men ask questions such as:

* what do women want
* why should a guy have to ask a girl out
* why should the guy always pay
* why do women say they want sensitivity, etc., but see guys like that as wimps
* why do women give out such mixed signals in general
* why do women seem to reject nice guys and go for jerks
* why can't a woman be the aggressor

Men comment on:

* women acting spoiled
* women wanting their independence, etc. but not wanting equal responsibility and weight
* women expecting a lot from men, but offering little in return
* women not knowing what they want
* women playing games
* women's attraction to "bad boys"

Both women and men verbalize that they are ok with the current roles that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear both talk wistfully about how it was in previous generations. Back then; everyone KNEW what was expected from him or her. Life was predictable. Dating was much simpler and "safer". Men were men and women were raised to be wives and homemakers.We have gained something and we have lost something. One thing for sure, we can never have it both ways.

What's the answer? It is never simple. However, it does involve better communication in general between men and women. Singles need to clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner they seek and what their expectations from a relationship really are. Once a person is clear about what they must have and what they can't live with, they need to go out and HONESTLY seek that. Knowing what you want is good. If you turn off someone by your frankness, he/she was not the someone for you.

So, begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue interests and environments, which maximize your chances of meeting compatible singles. And remember, there is no perfect person. He may be overly fussy with his hair, take longer in the bathroom than most women, be less ambitious in his work life than you are and put your cooking to shame. However, if he's sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to talk to and fun to be with, great with kids and very supportive of your goals, he may be the guy of your dreams.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

More Resources

What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up
When I was seven years old I wanted to be an author. Not a writer, but an author.
Talk Your Way to Financial Freedom
Feeling trapped by lack of funds? We can learn from those who live comfortably and retire early. They use language differently from those who are stuck in a scarcity process.
Isnt It Time to Give Yourself Permission?
Remember back in school days when you needed a permission slip to do almost anything outside of the classroom? Things like simply being able to visit the washroom, attend a sports meeting or going on a field trip? As adults we don't need someone to give us a permission slip. We already have a whole supply at our disposal.
Releasing Your Potential
In life, few people ever step up to live their lives at a higher level. They spend their lives wallowing in the circumstances that surround them.
Why Character and Integrity Are So Important
It's been said that character is defined by what you do when you think no one is watching. What an illuminating concept that is.
The Art of Possibility
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilledpotential.
It Doesnt Take Long To Become An Expert in The Law of Attraction
One of our Faculty, Christine Edick, has been the keynote speaker for several conferences for people in the 'career transition' industry. She received this short story, from one of the attendees, which demonstrates how easy it is to understand the Law of Attraction and to teach it to others.
My Assignment ... If You Didnt Create It, Then Its Not Yours!
Life consists of lessons. Living is continual learning.
Putting Yourself on the Road to Success
What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?It would be fair to say that the answers to these questions are very complex ones. It is a combination of factors which include such things as your country of birth, when you were born, your IQ, your physique, your capacity to remember, your environment, your parents, your friends, your associates, the formal education you receive and the books you read.
Appreciation Attracts Prosperity
Did you know that appreciation is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe for manifesting and attracting prosperity? According to teachers like L. Ron Hubbard (father of Dianetics), Abraham-Hicks and Drunvalo Melchizedek, appreciating yourself and your life can literally boost you to the highest vibrations.
How to be Successful in Life or Small Business!
Not everyone is programmed to be a successful businessperson, many people make it but many more fail along the way.A large part of your future success will depend on your P.
Visualization: Attracting Your Dreams and Desires
Visualization is an essential tool for attracting your dreams and desires. To manifest in your outer life, your dreams must first manifest inside your mind.
How To Invite Positive Change In Your Life
Gnothi seauton,, said Socrates. "Know thyself.
Are You The Driver Or The Passenger?
In your journey through life are you the "driver" or the "passenger"?Let me be perfectly clear what I mean about this statement. In other words, do you take charge of your own life? Do you make the judgment and set the goals for what you want your life to be like? - Or - Do you let others influence you and follow in their footsteps?This is a very important question you should be answering.
4 Helpful Ways To Beat Shyness
Over half of all adults identify themselves as shy. Shyness can get in the way of developing personal relationships and professional aspirations.
Creating Your Future
The questions of life may call to you. You may wonder about your purpose.
Electrical Deficiencies
Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our sensors are designed to detect conductors of energy that have the power to stir our feelings.It is this power we long for in particular individuals that manage to stir these responses in us, whether they manage to match their negatives with our positives or vice versa, generating a current we are unconsciously plugged into and are likely to become hooked on like junkies, particular currents determined by our electrical weaknesses and deficiencies, and the energy levels and forms we actually need to complement and supplement this malnutrition.
Who Wants to Work?
I feel a loss when pragmatism wins over the mystical. There is a greater magic at work when you engage with Source.
The Wealth-Receiving Mindset
Here is an exercise for you that will develop what I call the wealth-receiving mindset:I want you to think about the time in your life when you had the most money you have ever had.I don't care if the most money you've ever had was ten bucks, I want you to think about it right now.
Heres What I Got Out Of "What The Bleep Do We Know"
Your mind is so powerful that what you focus on happens. Your intent bends reality, creating vibrations in the quantum field.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
'Image & Professionalism' we hear these words being thrown around in conversation like cheap tokens, almost as frequently as their counterparts 'quality', 'service', and 'value'. So what does 'Image & Professionalism' really mean, and what do you see when you look in the mirror?A funny thing happens when you overuse a word.
How Do You Treat Others?
When others are angry with you, loving to you, critical of you, and so on, do you treat them the same? We tend to treat others, except those in a position of authority or power over us, the same way they treat us.Let's say you enter a restaurant expecting great service and a tasty meal.
Just Allow? But How?
If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're probably familiar with the expressions, "just Allow" and "it will come." Well, technically, both expressions are true.
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single".
Top 5 Areas to Create A Super-Reserve!
Last week, I had the privilege of leading a 4-day teleclass about creating reserves that will meet our needs and support our lives, forever! The goal was to create systems that automatically respond to everything that distracts, worries or confuses us, for the rest of our lives! (How's that for thinking big?) When we are secure and our needs are met once and for all, we are free to live large, pursue our dreams and challenge life on our own terms.While most of us worry about our shortage of time, money, or energy, and too often focus on working harder to get "enough", these 20 people wanted to go beyond enough, and cruise right past "plenty" to create "Super-Reserves" - a lifetime supply - of all the things that are important to them!In 4 days, we didn't find all the answers, but we made extraordinary progress and I'd like to share some of my notes with you.
What is it That You Want, Honey? Discover Wealth and Prosperity with the Angels of Abundance
As you already know, the Angels are here; ready to assist us but how can they assist us if they aren't control freaks or butt-in-skees? Obviously, they don't butt in. I have never heard my Angels telling me that I "should" do something.
Attracting Opportunity -- 10 Tips
You get what you attract - with your thoughts, words, beliefs, actions and inactions. Here are 10 tips for attracting opportunity:? Decide what you want, what you must do to get it, and then map out a plan to do what you must.
Letting Go and Trusting The Universe
One of the most important things in Wealth Creation is not so much in cracking our head trying to come up with the next million dollar idea or get rich quick scheme.The most important thing which is one of the greatest obstacle for most people is Letting Go.
Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater?
I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want you to use your imagination to construct a dream theater.
Use Your Vibrations of Energy to Communicate
In the past, I have touched on the connection of quantum physics and communication. One of my passions is to understand the connection that we create on a much higher level.
Passion Play
I remember a football game from last season when the Philadelphia Eagles were hosting the Carolina Panthers. One of the announcers said something like this: "If this game is about passion, it's about Deuce Staley! If it's about passion, he will be the last guy standing.
The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike
There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the Internet that cover the topic of how our Consciousness shapes ourreality through thought and feeling..
What the Young Man Heard
In the latter half of the 1800s, when the telegraph was still "high tech," a young man in Baltimore, Maryland, woke up one summer morning giddy with excitement. In fact, it had taken him half the night to get to sleep at all.
Bigger Fish To Fry
Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern Ontario. That trip really brought home to me the power of the Law of Attraction.
Ending the Internal Conflict
If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine, you've been taught to identify what you want to have. You've been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what you think about is what it drawn to you.
Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In
"How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new bookstore. "Well you know," she replied "it takes a long time to build a business.
Finders Keepers
Do you remember your younger years when you and your friends played all sorts of fun games all day long? I'm sure you do. If there is one thing children know how to do, they know how to have fun.
Purpose of Choice
Tornadic weather threatens southeastern Colorado and life on the plains takes a turn again. Interestingly enough, books are written, movies are made, and life happens while the winds blow and the rains fall.
Are You Thinking About What Youre Thinking About
Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what will determine whether you live a successful life or not?Since your thoughts are what your belief system is composed of, you should take great care in what you are thinking about because your thoughts influence the outcome of every area of your life.Are you thinking about what you're thinking about? The Bible says, "As a man thinks, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7).
Thought and The Law of Attraction
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.