Surviving Unemployment Through Emotional Damage Control

Looking for work is a roller-coaster ride: high with elation when you think you've found a great position, low with discouragement when you realize that someone else was offered a job you wanted.

Most of the time, you fall somewhere in between, your mood cycling from cautious optimism to keen disappointment. You try to conceal the inner turmoil, turning a brave face to the world, trying to convince everyone that you are "just fine."

For the sake of your health and your sanity, try these approaches:

1. Identify someone who is willing to be a sounding board for you: your significant other, a fellow job seeker, a career counselor, a good friend. Explain that you need someone to help you express the feelings inside and gain a better understanding of what is happening to you emotionally. Then talk to them, for a few minutes. You don't want to become a burden and your listener is not a paid therapist. Ten minutes of honest revelation and analysis a few times per week can help you avoid ulcers, family fights growing out of your frustration, self-isolation, and will free up the energy it takes to hold everything in. That is energy you need to conserve for job search.

2. Start a journal, if you don't already have one. Chronicle your activities, how you feel while doing them, and how you feel afterwards. Watch the patterns of your emotions so that you can start to predict when something is going to be stressful and uncomfortable. Schedule a fun activity afterwards to help you regain your balance. If certain activities make you feel buoyant and hopeful, concentrate on increasing such activities throughout the week.

3. Approach interviews with the thought that each one is really only practice for the perfect position you will eventually find. Perform as well as you can without investing your sense of worth in one person's decision. If it takes a hundred interviews to secure a job, each "No" you receive brings you one step closer to that final "Yes" you are seeking and therefore every step on the road to unemployment is worthwhile and "rejection" no longer belongs in your vocabulary.

Acknowledging the pressures and emotional swings of unemployment and job search will help you look at the situation more objectively and allow you to continue to function in other important areas of your life, those not connected with work or income.

Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com


More Resources

Prepare for Your Performance Review Before You Start the Job
When you start a new job, you probably realize the first three months are critical to your long-term success. Everybody's eye is on the "newbie" as you learn the ropes.
The Changing Values Landscape of the U.S. and How It Impacts Midlife Job Searchers
Imagine a huge river that has been flowing for centuries: See the thick underbrush that has grown up on either edge of the river's expansive banks and the moss-lined stones that litter its shallow edges.
The Top 10 Reasons to have a Career Coach
Many people in the last decade have experienced for themselves either a layoff or termination. Some of these people affected have experienced outplacement-consulting services.
Working in Dubai
Dubai in the United Arab Emirates is one of the world's fastest growing employment hotspots in the world. Up to 20 new companies establish themselves in the emirate's free trade zones every week and since 2002 some 650 companies have registered in the Dubai Media City free trade zone alone.
Unemployment Blues: Staying Afloat
The unemployment checks are running out and there is no potential job in sight. The wolf is knocking at the door and you need to survive.
Make a Good Living Doing What You Love
Don't let anyone talk you into going to college when all you really want to do is be a chef or tear apart a car engine.Some times our society pushes the wrong thing on us.
Skilled Mechanic Wage Study Review
Well what is a good mechanic worth these days? You cannot place a value on them simply as labor units as they teach in management school, they are worth more than money. So why not treat them with respect and dignity and pay them what they are worth, we believe that the national averages are too low.
Do Dream Jobs Really Exist?
More than four out of ten thirtysomething professionals want to change careers, but feel trapped and don't believe that they will, a new study shows.More thirtysomethings than ever before are feeling disillusioned with their careers and openly acknowledge that they'd like to move into something more rewarding and fulfilling.
How to Make Your Career Change Easier
Despite what your grandmother told you, life is not supposed to be a struggle. The same is true for making a career change.
One Step at a Time in the Job Search
What is the first step to take in a job search?Let's start with "Who Am I?" If the job seeker can answer that question easily, then the rest of what to do, comes easily.It is often the hardest thing to do in a job quest, or anything else in life.
How To Answer Your Call In Mid-Life
Hank Bochenski's story proves it is never too late to walk away from a life you feel trapped in and do something that you really love.Hank spent 30 years in demanding senior positions at large high-tech companies.
7 Steps To A Job-Winning Resume
A new resume can jump-start your career. Your network contacts may ask for a resume and some industries absolutely, positively demand a resume as the price of admission.
Is it a Scam?
I wanted to quit my job. So I decided to make my fortune online.
I Just Lost My Job: How Am I Going To Tell My Kids?
One of the responsibilities of a human resources professional is to let employees know that their job has been eliminated. It is seldom easy to do and often painful for the person who is hearing the news.
After Your Interview - What Must You Do Next?
Other than actually landing the interview itself and living through it, waiting after the interview and wondering whether you will get a phone call or a rejection letter can be one of the most difficult aspects of searching for a job. What you do after the interview should actually start while you are still 'working' the interview.
Simple Tips to Move Forward on the Job, Part II
After establishing a trusting relationship with the safety officer, it would be helpful to document what was talked about with the safety officer. What kinds of information was shared?
Three Myths About Resume Writing
Your perspective on resumes - what they are and how they function - will doubtless influence how well you can write your own. To create an outstanding resume, begin by questioning and replacing some of the commonly held assumptions about resume writing.
Mastering The Lunch Interview
Interviews can be nerve-racking, brain-draining, headache-inducingexperiences. These days, recruiters have found a way to make theinterview even more difficult by combining the experience with ameal.
More Companies Using Job Interview Phone Screening
Planning and preparing before you begin to send out resumes could save you some embarrassing moments when you receive that unexpected call.You just never know when that phone is going to ring.
Handling the Dreaded Why Did You Leave? Question
If you left your last job under less-than-ideal circumstances, you probably dread the "Why did you leave?" question that almost always comes up at job interviews. Here's how to handle it.

More Careers & Employment Information:

Related Articles

Where Do I Go From Here?
Making Your Future Work Better For YouIt's the commonest concern people have about their careers. Where am I heading? Is this the right direction for me? How can I tell what will suit me best? Making good career decisions doesn't have to be agony if you clear away a few misconceptions.
College Labor is Available in Ohio
Ohio has always been big on education and that means a bright, energetic and reliable workforce for expanding businesses. A business which wants to expand its number of outlets should be looking strongly at the Ohio market place as there are many very strong and economically viable areas to do business.
Necessary Psychological Skills When Working in the Executive Protection Field
The "hard" skills necessary for an executive protection specialist (EPS) and/or personal protection specialist (PPS) are often perceived as being that of a policeman or (elite) soldier. Though there can be certain similarities i.
Top Ten Guidelines For Working With Executive Recruiters
1. Select the right type of recruitment partnerDetermine whether you would be best served by a retained, contingency, contract or research based partner at a global, national or local level.
Why Human Resources Are The Real Key To Success In This Information Age
The rapid changes that have mainly been brought about by the information age are numerous and irreversible. They have affected our way of life on virtually every front and have left many old companies in ruins while causing other new ones to swiftly emerge and grow to great unprecedented profitability, literally overnight.
What Did You Say?
My table-mates introduced themselves as the reciprocal protocol began. We chatted about what we did, where we did it and what we thought of the conference.
The Inevitable Job Interview Question: "Why Did You Leave (Are Planning To Leave) Your Last Position
This is a question that you can almost count on being asked at your next interview What the interviewer wants to know is, "Why are you available?"The answer you give could set the tone for the rest of the interview. For instance, if you were to indicate that you were bored or burned out at your last job, the interviewer would quickly become concerned about your performance at this company.
How to Answer The Most Difficult Interview Questions
The following 'difficult' questions are common to most tricky or adversarial interviews. In order to convince the interviewer that you are the best person for the job, you must prepare and rehearse your answers meticulously.
7 Tips to Deal With a Bad Performance Review
Q. "I wasn't happy with my last performance review.
Common Résumé Mistakes
Using a general résumé.DON'T DO IT! You cannot successfully use the same résumé to apply to several different jobs.
Employees, Get Used to Working under Surveillance
Let's face it. Monitoring employees' e-mail, tracking their Internet use, logging everything done at keyboards has become the norm in Corporate America.
Make Your Resume Keyword Rich and Scanner Friendly
If you haven't looked for a job recently, there are new tactics that hiring professionals are using that you should be aware of before updating your resume.Employers and recruiters increasingly rely on electronic resumes, resume posting boards and job banks to find job candidates.
Why Do Interviews Die: That Sinking Feeling and How to Prevent it!
Interviews die because a mistake occurred. Sometimes, you've made a mistake; sometimes they die because someone who screened a resume did.
Writing Great Cover Letters
Cover letters are an essential ingredient to your complete résumé package. This is the best opportunity for you to demonstrate your personal character, knowledge of the company and your business writing skills.
9 Tips on Creating a Professional Emailed Job Application
With the advent of the Internet, many of us have the opportunity to apply for work through email.However, just because this is the Internet and email is so fast and convenient, that does NOT mean you should give up professionalism and polish!FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT.
Make A Lasting Impression With Interview Etiquette
(Des Moines, Iowa - February 2, 2005) Behaving appropriately during every course of an interview is just one way to increase your success with finding a job. Here are some tips to consider before you're seated across from your interviewer.
Stepping Stone Jobs
What we name something matters.It sets a tone that alters our attitude.
Ask the Recruiter
We all have career goals, big or small. Here are some questions I have recieved over the last month from those actively seeking new employment.
You're Ready for a Career Change - Is Your Resume?
You finally did it. You made the decision to leave a career that makes you dread every Monday morning and pursue one that you feel is your true calling.
Searching for a Federal Job
Many years ago searching for a federal job was a long, complicated and drawn out process. Today, it has been become far less complex and is now just a three-step process.