Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

Do you know an individual at work who is a chronic complainer? Are YOU a chronic complainer? People don't like complainers. Listening to a chronic complainer gets people depressed. They prefer to associate with people that make them feel good. If you are always complaining about something, people will start to ignore you.

If you're a chronic complainer, you're sabotaging yourself and your success at work. In this article, I explain how you can improve your outlook at work and improve your prospects for success. The first thing you need to do is get in touch with reality.

People are not perfect and you shouldn't expect them to be. An organization is a group of people, so no company or organization can be perfect. If you expect your organization to be perfect, you need to change your expectations.

Instead of expecting things to be perfect, expect everything to be totally screwed up at all times. Then on the rare occasion when something does go right, you will be pleasantly surprised.

There are many problems that you can't do anything about. Learn to work around the things you can't change. Some things you can change. Instead of whining and complaining, take responsibility for a problem you can solve. Don't try to change the world, focus on improving your own little corner of the company.

You might realize that there are many problems you might be able to solve. Don't try to solve all the problems at once. Prioritize the things that you view as problems and choose your battles. Attack the most important problem first.

When you complain, limit your complaint to one problem and be specific. Along with your complaint, suggest a realistic solution. If you can't think of a realistic solution to the problem, then how do you expect someone else to solve the problem?

Sometimes it's best to put your complaint in writing. Put your written complaint aside for a day. Don't submit your complaint until your writing is clear, logical, and carefully thought out. By the time you finish, you may realize that you didn't completely understand the problem, or you may decide that the problem isn't worth complaining about after all.

If your complaint involves a person, avoid attacking that individual. Don't complain that the individual is stupid or inconsiderate. Complain that what the individual did was stupid or inconsiderate. If a person works really hard, they might be able to change how they act, but they can never change who they are.

Complaining about your boss or a higher manager is very dangerous. Don't complain about the boss to your coworkers. If your boss loses face, the only way to gain back their self respect may be to fire you. Ask your boss for a private meeting and discuss the problem in a calm and polite manner.

Whether the person you are complaining about is your boss or a coworker, try to make some compliments along with the complaint. Everybody has good and bad characteristics. Make sure the individual understands that you recognize and appreciate their good characteristics. That person may not realize that anyone thought they had good characteristics and you may gain a new friend.

Note: Similar to never complaining about your boss to coworkers, a consultant should never complain about his company to the firm that he is hired out to.

It may be difficult to recognize, but all problems have a good side. Many problems are opportunities in disguise. Look for the positive side in every problem. Approach all problems with a sense of humor. If you can find the positives or the humor in a problem and you make positive statements to your coworkers and your boss, you will greatly improve your prospects for success at work.

Copyright(C) 2004 Bucaro TecHelp.

Permission is granted for the below article to forward, reprint, distribute, use for ezine, newsletter, website, offer as free bonus or part of a product for sale as long as no changes are made and the byline, copyright, and the resource box below is included.

About The Author

Stephen Bucaro

To learn how to maintain your computer and use it more effectively to design a Web site and make money on the Web visit bucarotechelp.com. To subscribe to Bucaro TecHelp Newsletter visit http://bucarotechelp.com/search/000800.asp

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor
IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the role of HR professional as a coach and mentor. People are exited as well as confused.
Not Blind, Just No Vision
Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she knew of that was worse than being blind; it was to be able to see but have no vision.In case you do not know the story of Helen Keller, she was less than two years old when she suddenly came down with a fever that left her unconscious.
Going On a Mental Diet
Diets are always in style. Every time you turn around, someone is coming out with a new and improved diet.
Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon
Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women.
Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief!
For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war with herself. Keeping organized, being on time, and finishing what she started were always a struggle.
Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.The time-honored approach to disappointment generally involves a fair amount of wallowing followed by a concerted effort to move on.
Online Counseling - a Timely Happenstance
Online counseling may be the latest and greatest improvement intherapy. It seems to be perfect for this fast-paced world withmany workers who sit by their computer screens all day long.
Are You Seduced by The Dark Side of Wealth Creation? Get-Rich-Quick Scammers
With the growing number of expert business people, consultants and coaches keen to make money from multiple streams of income I thought I'd share a WARNING to help you spot genuinely useful information from dangerous scams.There's a very simple seduction trick that is deadly powerful when it comes to parting the masses (whether they consider themselves highly intelligent or not) with their cash.
The $10,000,000.00 Question
When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do if she won a $10,000,000.00 lottery prize, she quickly answered " I would move to Hawaii and sit on the beach all day.
Action NOT Reaction
Do you feel you are in charge of your life do you really believe that you control your destiny? Or you are of those people who feel manipulated all the time, they are doing things and they don't know, why? Do you have the sense that you are a wooden puppet that someone else pulls the strings?I have an answer for you.Psychologists have proven that human decisions are based on emotions, and once an emotional decision is made they use their logical part of the brain to justify that decision.
Getting What You Need: Ask For Help!
"Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with clients on making major life changes in line with a new definition of personal success.
Walt Disney, the Inspiration to Form a Better Life?
You, like many others, may have come to this article because you want more from life. In this sense, you and I may be alike because we're searching for greater happiness and a stronger sense of fulfillment.
Making Changes in Your Personal Life
Making changes in your personal life can be a tough process. Change starts with a thought.
Managing Your Perfectionism
What Is Perfectionism?This is the first of two newsletters that address perfectionism. In this issue, we will explore what perfectionism is and why it is destructive.
Personal Life Coaching And How It Can Help You
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in creating something new for themselves. I work side by side with my clients' coaching them by providing perspective and support for self-knowledge as they accomplish their business and personal goals.
Your Silent Voice of Experience
"I can't wait!" she exclaimed over the phone. The anticipation in her voice was evident as we scheduled a time to meet and discuss her new fund raising project.
How to Get a Grip on Your Money
Most people have no idea where their money goes. They earn it and they spend it.
The Student Who Knew Too Much
This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? "Can't I just try to mail or email, do I really have to call" "I was thinking I could wait to get business cards" "I wanted to be successful first, before I start to market or network" "Why do I have to do it that way, I thought I could do it this way" I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People
Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change it is not going to happen.
A Christmas Wish
My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She has had few friends and her boyfriends have never been good for her.