You Have The Right

The other day I was having a interesting conversation with an acquaintance, but it soon turned out to be surprising and unpleasant. The other person blurted out an unwelcome comment, in a tactful manner by pin pointing a personal issue within the conversation.

What did I do? I immediately gave her an answer back within the conversation as well. It was subtle unlike my husband who would stop her dead in her tracks without sugar coating. What I think is wrong with his tactic? Not much, only that I would prefer it for someone who can't keep their mouth shut all the time. Sometimes people speak without thinking, so I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.

What do we have in common? Even though we have different tactics, we both make an effort to defend ourselves. I'm sure some are wondering what ever happened with turning the other cheek theory? Is just not that healthy, when ever someone tries to make you feel inferior by making sarcastic remarks, name calling, joking at your expense, disregarding your opinion etc. it is verbal abuse, and believe it or not it can affect your self esteem a great deal. Next time someone intents to maliciously tear down your confidence, in a firm voice say/do one of the followings

  • stop taking out your problems on me,

  • ask the person to repeat the comment again this usually *gets bullies to back down,

  • ask if he is having some problems,

  • and my all time favorite ridiculing their opinion and laughing at them

  • say what I do is none of your own business

  • do leave if you perceive any physical danger

  • don't hang or stay around people with abusive personalities

There are many other tactics that can help you stop this behavior. You can choose the method that best fits your personality or situation, but what ever you do make sure you let him/her know that their behavior is unacceptable.

Think about how good it feels when you stand up for yourself versus staying quiet in resentment. I understand that some of us are more incline to avoiding conflict and keeping harmony and that is fine. In fact I used to be like that, its just that some times you have to take a stand and set your boundaries or else people will walk all over you. Believe me I learned this the hard way; you can be calm and peaceful as long as you speak your mind and set your foot down. Besides who says you have to accept anyone's definition of who you are.

Don't give your right away,

About The Author

Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com "For Every Aspect of Today's Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics" - http://kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to read more inspirational articles written by her.

keniamorales@kpatra.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

7 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem
1. Get a life purpose statement.
I Give Free Consultations... So, Why Dont They Hire Me?
I show my clients a way to answer the question, "So, What Do You Do?" quickly and effectively. What I sometimes hear afterwards is,"Anna that works great, people now 'get' what I do and say, 'Yeah, I could sure do with help like that' but they're still not hiring me.
Take a Chance, Win a Prize
I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground rant 'take a chance, win a prize'. Whenever I hear this call to action, I immediately break out into a cold sweat.
Avoid the Tendency to Underestimate Your Greatness
As a whole I think there is a sad tendency in most of us to underestimate just how powerful we are. Just how much greatness lies inside each and every one of us - just waiting to get out.
Do You Need a Performance Coach?
In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with the issue, "I want to get in shape, but I just don't have the time!" We all have faced it at one time or another. So, when we finally decide to get in shape we go to the gym, and then another decision hits us.
Helping Relationships: Understanding the Helpee
One of the most distressing observations I have made among my social work colleagues, is the overwhelming proclivity on the part of many of us so-called helpers, to lack understanding and sensitivity to the position helpees are in when they agree to accept intervention.Many of us take "professionalism" out of context and become more of a burden to families than a helping resource.
After July 8, Pay This Amount
You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online.
How to Forgive Another for Past Hurts
No one gets through life without being hurt by another person. We all have experienced the pain of a thoughtless remark, gossip, or lie.
Are You Invisible?
Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others' feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own.
Value Based Leadership Coaching
What can I do to be a better coach? The Eight Step Coaching Model describes the process, yet too often the focus is on techniques only. "How can I say it to win my point, get others to do things my way, or convince them?" Focusing only on one technique is fundamentally manipulative.
Can You Say No?
As a manager you are constantly being asked to do things - by your boss, by one of your fellow managers, by the head of another department, by one of your staff.Your working life is a constant bombardment of requests coming from all quarters.
Budda In Your Back Pocket
The other day I was late for something. Not very late.
What is Coaching?
Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching and what it is exactly. So, I decided to answer some of those questions in this article.
Why Don't You Just Stuff It ALL?
You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage, got busy with your home and maybe your kids and before you knew it..
Progress Reviews: Your Key To Effective Coaching
One of the most effective ways to help your staff succeed is to provide regular, consistent coaching throughout the year. A Progress Review is a specific kind of coaching discussion, tied to the employee's Annual Objectives and Standards.
How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need
Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out all the time? Are you one of those Law of Attraction students who catches yourself saying things like, "I wonder how this is going to come to me?" or, "What do I need to figure out so I know what to do next (to manifest what I desire)?" Attention Law of Attraction Students!Stop trying to figure out where/how/when your manifestation is going to come! It's not your job!Here's a great tool that will help all of you 'figure-it-outers' reduce your need to figure it out. Those of you who are thinkers need to see it or know it before you can fully accept that The Law of Attraction exists and is working in your life.
How to Choose the Right Coach for You
So you want to hire a coach but with so many choices it's easy to feel overwhelmed. How do you find the coach that is right for you? It can seem like a daunting task so here are some guidelines to help you make the right decision for you.
Solution-Focused Therapy
Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change.
Sorry Dr Maslow, I Think You Got It Wrong
In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled " Motivation and Personality" in which he outlided his now famous Hierarchy of Needs. Over the years since its publication Maslow's work has gained wide acceptance as a tool in understanding human motivation.
The Self Development Tool Box
Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn't it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers.