How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course of any given day. We could be Mom, Boss, Employee, Student or Friend, to name just a few. Very often we identify ourselves by those roles. When asked, "Who are you/" we say, "I'm a wife and mother", "I am a doctor and amateur photographer". We identify ourselves by how the world sees us, not by who we really are.

Our authentic self is who we really are, deep at the core of our being. Our authentic self is not who the world labels us to be. The authentic self is driven by our individual values and our specific needs.

In order to learn to be our authentic self, we must first discover our authentic self. To discover is to learn of the existence of something. Self-discovery is learning of the existence of our core values and needs.

Discovery is not a one step process. Although there are many "a-ha" moments in discovery, there is a lot of hard work that must be done before and after experiencing those "a-ha" moments in order to incorporate that discovery into our daily lives. Once we say "a-ha" I really value adventure and creativity and I really need support and tenderness, it is time to incorporate those values and needs into our daily lives.

While most of us would date the discovery of penicillin to the early 1940's, the first "a-ha" moment came much earlier. Sir Alexander Fleming discovered that the mold growing on his unwashed culture plates was repelling the bacteria surrounding it in 1928. It was not until 1940 that Ernst B.Chain and Sir Howard Florey first tested penicillin on animals. And it was not until 1941 that pharmaceutical companiesin the United States started penicillin production, a long road to the discovery of penicillin.

Self-discovery is also a long road. In truth, we can continue to discover ourselves throughout our lives. But, we have to work at it. We have to look deep into our core to find our inherent values and needs.

Think about what values motivate your daily life. In any community there are shared values. These might be honesty, integrity, respect, and helpfulness. You might share these values with colleagues, friends and family. In addition to these shared values you will have values that are specific to you as an individual.

Your individual values might be, to contribute, to discover, to teach and to create. These values are specific to you and are what propel you to become who you are. You are more likely to be drawn to work in the arts if your core values consist of creativity, originality, discovery and beauty. By the same token, you would be more likely to become a teacher if your core values consist of guiding, inspiring, learning and informing.

The other factor to be considered in becoming our authentic self is the needs that drive us emotionally. We can not be our authentic self without having those needs met.

You might have the need to be empathetic in your relationships, or to experience adventure. Perhaps your need is to be really connected to your family or community. These needs go beyond the shared human needs of food, shelter and safety.

We often confuse wants with needs. To want something is to desire it. We may want a bigger house, newer car or financial independence. We can achieve those desires and still have core needs that are unmet. We have all heard the saying " Money doesn't buy happiness". The truth in that adage is that "money" is an external want not an internal need. When our internal needs are not met, it matters notwhat external gains we accomplish, we are left un-fulfilled.

If we don't live by our core values we are in essence creating core needs. For instance, if we have discovered that our core values consist of things like, creativity, originality and imagination and yetwe work and live in an environment with no room for original thinking and conceptualization, , we are not being our authentic selves. In turn we are creating the unmet needs of creativity, originality and imagination.

So, in order to be our authentic self we must embrace the path of self-discovery. We must look deep within our being and discover our core values and needs. We then must choose our goals and our path in life based on those core values and needs.

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Addiction to Thinking
Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable and had no idea how to get out of his misery. In his life he had experienced moments of great joy and sense of oneness with all of life, but those moments were infrequent.
Searching For Your Calling - Quest or Curse?
Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life?, people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories of career dissatisfaction. They tend to be their own harshest critics, often riddled with self-doubt and embarrassment about not getting this "career thing" right.
Skills for Change
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true at work, and it's also true in life. In both situations there are FOUR skills you can trust:1.
Life - Is It Just An Illusion?
It's a well-known fact that electrons and atoms move at the speed of light, technically flickering in and out of existence. In other words, half of the time we are actually not here.
Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself
Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than fully confident, as part of your preparation for facing a daunting challenge? You can improve your performance if you let your somatic intelligence lead the way."You move too much to be effective.
Enhancing Life for a Lifetime
Do you often feel lonely, anxious, or even depressed? Is a mid-life or quarter-life crisis threatening your confidence, self-esteem and well-being? Do you yearn for practical advice on enhancing, balancing and bringing new joy to your personal and professional life?Tens of millions of Americans answer a resounding "yes" to one or more of those questions. After all, statistics report that more than 19 million of us are diagnosed with depression each year.
The $10,000,000.00 Question
When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do if she won a $10,000,000.00 lottery prize, she quickly answered " I would move to Hawaii and sit on the beach all day.
If I Only Had a Heart
I know you probably have heard of the movie, "The Wizard of Oz" right? Well, for those of you, who have somehow managed to miss this movie, let me give you a brief description of it.A young lady named Dorothy is upset with her home life and decides to run away.
What The Buddha Says About Coaches
There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.
Is Coaching Everything That It Is Cracked Up To Be?
Personal or business coaching has helped thousands change their lives and achieve their goals. Yet, for the sceptics it still is a fuzzy concept with little recognition for its benefits.
The Value of Career Coaching and Its Effect on Productivity
Athletes the world over have coaches. Yet, workers whose very livelihood depends on their ability to perform well on the job are often unaware of the merits of a career coach.
You Have The Right
The other day I was having a interesting conversation with an acquaintance, but it soon turned out to be surprising and unpleasant. The other person blurted out an unwelcome comment, in a tactful manner by pin pointing a personal issue within the conversation.
You Are Never Trapped!
"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka (1883-1924)A good friend of mine graduated from Boston University Law School.
The Harvest: Shared Power
The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The farmers collect the sometimes-scant rewards of their heroic efforts begun months before.
Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them
1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with.
Become More Self-Confident
Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking a quiz. Read the list of statements below and check which ones, in your opinion, are signs of self-confidence.
Executive Coaching and the American President
Perhaps no one better than a former U.S.
Listen To Me Lad Says Jack
Once upon a time, a very long time ago, when I was first starting out as an apprentice engineer, I was told to sit next to Jack.Jack was the longest serving Draughtsman in the organisation and he was one of the most lazy people I have ever met.
HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor
IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the role of HR professional as a coach and mentor. People are exited as well as confused.
Guilt By Association & Wealth By It Too!
"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art." - Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616) Spanish novelist.