College Roommates: Threes A Crowd


It's hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of a postage stamp with one person, but what happens when your roommate consistently invites friends and dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, it can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a little privacy. At the very least, you don't want to feel like an outsider in your own room.

Whether you're dealing with your roommate's ever present love interest, or his obnoxious friends who "borrow" your stuff, you need to speak up. Roommate issues like this don't go away by ignoring them, so it's best to be upfront and work together to reach an understanding. Here are some tips that will help:

• Keep an open mind. It's possible that your roommate has no idea there's a problem, so don't assume he's trying to annoy you on purpose.

• Pick the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak to your roommate when the two of you can be alone. Explain that you have nothing against the other people involved, but you feel uncomfortable having them around all the time.

• Be assertive. Stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of your roommate. You can't control who your roommate spends time with or when, but you do have a say when it affects your time in the room.

• Avoid accusations. Starting your sentences with, "you," sounds like an attack and will likely make your roommate defensive, as in: "You are being selfish." Instead, own your message by starting with, "I," as in: "I'm unhappy with this situation."

• Set reasonable expectations. If you leave the room every time your roommate has over a date or friend, he or she will assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist. Both sides need to compromise instead of one person making all the changes.

• Make a schedule. Discuss times when both of you need space to study, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make those times off-limits to guests.

If you don't like conflict, you may be tempted to avoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to your roommate first. Going around the issue will only makes things worse! By approaching your roommate calmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out an agreement that's fair without things getting blown out of proportion.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the book, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell" (Adams Media). She offers more college survival tips on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More College/
University Information:

Related Articles

How to eMail Your Professor
So its 12:30 Pm and there you are at the computer trying to refresh the email inbox page. The big test is tomorrow and your Professor still hasn't replied back, but why? Contrary to popular belief, that your Professor wants you to fail, the problem could stem from the fact that your email never reached him/her.
I Hate My Roommate!
So its the beginning of the school year, your first day of class is over, and you just want to sit down and relax for a moment because you know that the rest of the semester won't be as easy as Day 1. You're alone in the room.
Five Questions To Ask A Computer Training School Before Signing Up
As with any field, there are good technical training schools, and bad ones. When you sign up with one of these schools, you've made a significant investment in time and money.
Why Study the Flows of Civilization?
The reason to study the flows of civilization is out of the growing concern of the direction the United States is heading. Without a doubt the US of A is by far the greatest and most free country in the World.
Prepping for the new SAT I
On March 12, 2005, high school juniors across the country were the first to take the new SAT I test, the standardized testing used in the college admission process. The test is 3 hours and 45 minutes, instead of just 3 hours, and contains a third writing section.
Online College Programs - How to Apply
The first step to getting your online degree is to apply to colleges. Research several colleges offering the degree program you need.
Commercialisation of Higher Education in South Africa
Introduction and Literature ReviewSouth African education policies place priority on addressing historical education imbalances, but should also be sensitive to the demands of an ever-increasing global knowledge-driven environment. The educational system cannot be dominated by the needs of the domestic educational system of South Africa ignoring the trends exerted by the global world (OEDC Annual Report, 2004:44).
Balancing College Life and Academics
1. Control Your Schedule; Don't Let Your Schedule Control YouOrganization and time management skills are two of the most valuable skills you will ever have.
The Family University Network: Unplugging Institutional Higher Education
Why not build a Christian family enterprise with the energy, funding, and infrastructure that would otherwise build the state or private educational institutions?It is common knowledge today that serious moral problems exist in families, churches, schools, colleges, corporations, and political arena. These problems have academic, moral, and philosophical roots reaching back centuries, and have been promoted by the systematic separation of knowledge from faith in God.
Dont Graduate - What Students Should Know About College, But No One Ever Tells Them
For all the students even dreaming about going to college, I have one piece of advice: don't graduate. Yes.
Naturopathic Schools
NATUROPATHIC SCHOOLS instruct in Naturopathic medicine which is an holistic approach that relies on natural remedies altogether. Sunlight, air, and water are thought of as natural healers; this, along with nutritional supplements and massage therapies are all part of naturopathic medicine.
Internetworking and Security Multiple Choice Test
Personally, I dislike Multiple Choice Tests. Because they do not test the student's ability to develop and organise ideas and present these in a coherent argument.
Oxford Student Convicted of Child Pornography Offenses
An Oxford student has been convicted of downloading child pornography and has been placed on the Sex Offenders' Register for five years. However, the student continued to study in Oxford for several weeks after his conviction and did not inform his college or the University.
Online Education
I always dreamed of going to school and getting a degree in something I'd love to do. I had plenty of dreams, and I wanted to pursue them.
Academic Research on the Internet : There Is a Better Way
Students nowadays start their research projects by looking up information on the web. And they are very right to do so, as there are libraries of useful information available.
Looking For a Rewards Program That Offers Free Money for College Students?
With the rising cost of books, tuition and housing, it's no wonder that college students are looking for ways to cash in on anything that can lighten their financial load. It isn't easy trying to balance an exciting social life, education and your finances at any age - not to mention in your teens and twenties.
Distance Education is Now Training the Next Genertation of Medical Assistants
Some people are calling it distance-free learning for the Medical Assistant. Distance Learning happens wherever the learner is most available, free from the traditional boundaries of geography.
Accredited Life Experience Degrees - Accelerate Your Progress Online
Chances are you are pursuing an online degree to reap benefits in the workplace. For this reason, you may be interested in accelerating your progress to get your degree faster.
Facing Your Fears as an Adult Returning to School
In case you hadn't noticed, career colleges aren't just for learning a vocational trade anymore. Nowadays, career colleges can help you obtain a Bachelor's, Master's, or even Doctorate Degree in just about any field of study, or they can even help you simply brush up on skills you might already have on your way to earning a certification or Associate's Degree.
Tips On College Selection
It is highly recommended that early in the college selection process, parents and student(s) visit some schools to determine if they'll be suitable. The criteria that must be considered before any college is applied to include:? Average GPA, SAT I, class rank for acceptance? The school should offer enough choices in the event the student changes their major? Size, location, Greeks, religious affiliation? Percentage of freshmen that return for year two? Percentage of freshmen that graduate in four years? Percentage of financial need met? Percentage of gift aid/self-help awarded? On or off campus job opportunities? Meal plans and dietary situations met? Name recognition? Student/teacher ratio? Average class size, semester or trimester? Percentage of professors who teach and percentage of teaching assistants? 2 or 4-year college or university? Co-ed dorms? Freshman cars permitted? Handicap accessibility? Cost of the sheepskinIt is also recommended that you determine if the school uses a need-blind or need-sensitive admissions policy.