Helping Caregivers Get Comfortable Asking For Help

Becoming a care giver might not have been a conscious decision on your part. It may have arrived quietly and unnoticed because you are the adult child of your elderly parents who now require care or you may have a special needs child that exacts your constant attention or a friend or spouse has become very ill and needs your support. In any of these situations the impact of providing constant care is tremendous.

One of the most difficult things about taking on a care giver role is that feeling of isolation, that sense of being all alone. Often times we think we need to do the job completely by ourselves, that the responsibility lays entirely with us. That's not true. You can ask for help.

Here's a few tips that will encourage you to get comfortable asking for and receiving the help you need in caring for a loved one.

1. First of all, recognize that care giving can definitely become a very responsible, overwhelming and isolating job. And also recognize that it's a sign of strength to ask for help. It means that you understand the situation and have begun to take a proactive approach to making your life better.

2. Your role may be the primary caregiver and with that in mind, it is very important to include your extended family as part of your care giving team. Perhaps your family members could provide some specific help such as handling yard work, preparing some meals, helping with financial issues, taking on the primary role so you can get away on vacation.

3. Write down all the tasks that need to be done on a weekly basis, the ones that you are most concerned about. These may include working outside the home, getting to doctor appointments, driving the kids to after school activities, laundry, cooking, cleaning, filling out forms, picking up medicines, therapy sessions, regular family duties, etc. When you see them in 'black and white' you will quickly realize just why it is you are so tired and why you need to accept any offers of help.

4. Become very aware of your monthly schedule and how others might be able to slip into the caregiver role and give you a hand. Remember, you must be ready to give them a date, time and duties when they offer assistance to you. Make a list of specific tasks that someone else could handle for you. Perhaps it's hands on assistance with personal care for your loved one or providing transportation to an appointment or activity, administering medications, helping with housework, doing the grocery shopping. You may even want to categorize these tasks so it will be easier to help decide who might be the best person for the job.

It's very important for you to learn to ask for and accept help when it is offered. Care giving at the best of times is certainly more than a 'one man job'. Realize just how extraordinary you are as a human being and recognize how important you are in caring for your loved one.

Love, honor and value yourself. Remember, by taking good care of your own health and emotions you will in turn be better able to help your loved one and enjoy a happier, less stressful lifestyle.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. Lois is also the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching which specializes in coaching and caring for caregivers. To learn more about how you, as a caregiver can live 97% guilt free, please visit her web site at http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com You can also sign up for the Caregivers Monthly Newsletter.

More Resources


The Best Investment You Can Make Right Now: Long Term Care Insurance
Don't think you need it? Consider this: a full 50% of Americans over the age of 50 will need long term care at some point in their lives. The average cost of nursing facility care (or home health care assistance) is $61,000 per year, and the average stay in a long term care facility is 2½ years.
Stair Lifts - Straight and Curved Rails
There are two types of stairlift. Straight and curved.
Stair Lift Buying Guide
There is no doubt that having a stair lift in your home can dramatically improve your quality of life. If you are starting to find that climbing the stairs is becoming a hazardous experience, or just hard work, then a stair lift could be the answer.
New Hope for Alzheimers Treatment
There is now widespread agreement among research scientists and medical professionals that Alzheimer's Disease (AD) is a problem quickly growing to vast proportions. As the life expectancy of Americans continues to rise, increasing the percentage of the population over 65 years of age, so does the number of Alzheimer's cases.
What About Tennesse Dept. of Human Services Abuse of the Elderly and Their Families?
PART I: Physical Abuse of the Elderly vs. Tennessee DHS Abuse of FamiliesDuring the week of October 26, 2003, newspapers across the state of Tennessee published an Associated Press story that featured the glaring news headline, "Reports of neglect and abuse of senior citizens up 40% in six years.
Hinged Rail Stair Lifts
If a door at the top or the bottom of the stairs may be blocked by the rail of the stairlift, there are a number of models designed to overcome this problem. Some manufacturers are able to produce a rail with reduced overhang upstairs, so the lift will not protrude as far into the hallway.
What You Need to Know About Helping Senior Citizens
IntroductionThe baby boomers is the population which haven taken birth after second world war till 1965 when there was a tremendous increase in birth rate due to the social and economic development in the USA. Now this population is going into the old age and thus bringing a burden to the nation as the country has to take care of not only the food and shelter but also the medical care.
How To Find Affordable Senior Housing
A few years ago Miranda M. became a widow.
Ask Rusty - Ex-spouse benefits - When you don't get
Dear Rusty: I am very confused about where I stand with Social Security. I have been divorced twice. First husband is 79; I was married to him for 10 years.
When Assistance with Long Term Care Becomes Necessary
According to the Administration on Aging, it is estimated by 2030, the older population will more than double to approximately 71.5 million.
Why Do Some Old People Get Cranky?
I hear you already. All old people aren't cranky. I have a friend who is 96 years old and is the delight of all who know her. She is independent.
Arizona Senior Housing: Care Options for Seniors Who Can No Longer Live Alone
The following are a few of the care options available for seniors who can no longer live on their own and require assistance with their Activities of Daily Living (ADL), or require skilled nursing care. Every state is a little different in terms of availability and cost, state regulations, and the specific names used for each care option:Assisted Living Home- A facility consisting of 10 or fewer residents in a private home setting located in residential neighborhoods.
The Golden Years
1) What does Adrian Mitchell say we do to people when their working lives are over?Adrian says that "when a man's too ill to work we punish him", rob him of half his income or replace it with "pocket money" and or place him in a retirement home to sit out the remainder of his live in isolation.2) What does he think about this?Adrian thinks that "the old people are being robbed" and says "to hell with retiring" he believes that the way that deal with old people (to have your ability to sport yourself removed and then being given "pocket money").
Caregiving Across The Miles-Tips for Successful Long Distance Caregiving
Caring for a parent or a loved one is a difficult job. Your duties as a caregiver become increasingly difficult as the miles increase between you and your loved one.
Compare Nursing Homes
Finding the best nursing home is easier than you might think. That is assuming there is more than one nursing home in your area so that you have something to compare.
Assisted Living Facilities - What Are They?
Assisted Living facilities are generally for person's 60 years of age and older. Typical candidates need assistance with "Activities of Daily Living" (ADLs), but wish to live as independently as possible.
It's Medicare Open Enrollment Season. Here's What You Need to Know
Medicare's Annual Election Period is here. Beginning October 15, seniors will choose their Medicare plans for 2019. They'll have to make their selections by December 7 for coverage that takes effect January 1.
As the Baby Boomers Age
Many employees today are calling in sick - not to care for themselves or their children, but to care for their aging parents. Baby boomers are rapidly moving into the role of caregivers for their parents, but with a few extra challenges due to the changing face of our workforce.
Advocate For Senior Citizens - Protecting Against Abuse and Fraud
Ruth is 87 years old this year and has been living alone since 1997. She is in good health, however the daily chores around the home became increasingly difficult.
Second Hand Stair Lifts
Buying second hand stair lifts is a viable and cost effective alternative to purchasing a brand new stair lift. Most stair lifts can be purchased new or second hand.
>

More Elder Care Information:

Related Articles


Long Term In-home Care Options
Are you worried that you may lose all your life's earnings and nest egg due to the rising costs of in-home long term care? As you get older do you have the necessary finances to protect yourself from going broke while slightly incapacitated? Many seniors are worried about are worried about the costs of long-term health care.Are you worried that if something happens to you, that you may run out of money and burn thru their reserves and all your nest egg.
Skilled Nursing Homes - What Are They?
A skilled nursing home is a medical facility providing services similar to a hospital. The homes are staffed with licensed nurses, shared rooms, hospital beds, regular scheduled doctor rounds, meals and housekeeping.
New Hope for Alzheimers Treatment
There is now widespread agreement among research scientists and medical professionals that Alzheimer's Disease (AD) is a problem quickly growing to vast proportions. As the life expectancy of Americans continues to rise, increasing the percentage of the population over 65 years of age, so does the number of Alzheimer's cases.
Board and Care Homes - What Are They?
Board and Care homes (also known as RCFE's - Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly) are residential private homes that have been licensed by the Department of Social Services to provide services to seniors. Most accept no more than six residents, but offer a cozy, home-like setting for frail seniors.
How To Find Affordable Senior Housing
A few years ago Miranda M. became a widow.
Local Businesses Serving Seniors Prove Commitment to Quality Care
Good news! You no longer have to risk chance when it comes to selecting a reputable elder care service for yourself or for a loved one. Senior Approved Services has certified a select number of businesses in our area serving the elderly and disabled populations.
It's Medicare Open Enrollment Season. Here's What You Need to Know
Medicare's Annual Election Period is here. Beginning October 15, seniors will choose their Medicare plans for 2019. They'll have to make their selections by December 7 for coverage that takes effect January 1.
Solitary Confinement -- for Life
Sixty-five year old Arthur Jones served a self-imposed life sentence - in his own home.Arthur lived in a high crime neighborhood, so he built iron cages around his outside doors and installed bars on all the windows.
When Assistance with Long Term Care Becomes Necessary
According to the Administration on Aging, it is estimated by 2030, the older population will more than double to approximately 71.5 million.
Who Wants to End Up in a Nursing Home? NO ONE!
As a long-term care consultant for seniors and their families I have visited many different types of facilities. But my favorite type of facility to visit is adult family homes.
Compare Nursing Homes
Finding the best nursing home is easier than you might think. That is assuming there is more than one nursing home in your area so that you have something to compare.
Why Do Some Old People Get Cranky?
I hear you already. All old people aren't cranky. I have a friend who is 96 years old and is the delight of all who know her. She is independent.
Prevent or Delay Alzheimers Disease
Argh! Where are my glasses? I put them down . .
Alzheimers Care Giving While Maintaining Your Own Health
Just for a moment I want you to imagine that you are coming out of a very deep sleep. If you have ever had surgery try to remember the way you felt as you were trying to make sense of things as you awoke.
Ask Rusty - Ex-spouse benefits - When you don't get
Dear Rusty: I am very confused about where I stand with Social Security. I have been divorced twice. First husband is 79; I was married to him for 10 years.
Senior Care for Alzheimer's
As a person ages, a certain amount of memory loss and confusion is quite normal. Personally, I've been known to invoke the cliché, "The older I get, the better I was!" Unfortunately, Alzheimer's disease represents a more serious loss of mental sharpness and calls for special care for seniors.
Feeling Lonely?
Q: I hate Alzheimer's disease, not only has it robbed me of my husband, but it has taken my life too! I feel like all of my friends have disappeared. I am lonely, and that makes me feel guilty.
Senior Living: 5 Ways to Help Reduce the Risk of Falling
Every year we hear stories of seniors falling, ending up in hospitals and never fully recovering. Unfortunately, these falls often result in death.
Marketing, Selling, and Serving the Older Adult, Senior Citizens, Family Caregivers
Are your clients pleased by the fine quality service that you provide? Validating your clients' endorsement of you through Certification as a Senior Approved Service will increase your client base. Senior Approved Certification leads a family towards a service like yours side stepping the possibility of connecting with a less than desirable service.
Mom Wont Participate!
Q: Six months ago we placed my mother in an assisted living facility. She gets along fairly well, but we thought she would get involved with all of the activities.
>