Humor Information

The Patience of Job


Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article.

Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I've questioned His existence. Most people will say the reason they doubt God's existence is because, "If there's a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war?" Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah?

My sole reason for doubting the existence of God is work. (I, however, never question the existence of a higher power for I worship at his altar every day from 9 to 5.)

If there is a God why do we not have five-day weekends and two-day workweeks? He's God. He can make it happen. In God we trust, right? Well I trust in God to give us a five-day weekend.

Think of the positives of a two-day work week. You'd say things like, "Wow, that workweek really flew bye."

Think of what it would do for the economy because as Americans what are we really, but consumers? Think of it this way. If the United States Senate can get away with only working 110 days a year, why can't we?

Women will have five full days a week to shop, and tell men what to do. Maybe, just maybe, we'll have more time to spend with our kids so they don't remain a bunch of illiterate crack heads.

More people might believe in heaven because life on earth won't be such a living hell.

I believe, with faith, God will grant us my wish. Let me illustrate through the Bible. Isn't it ironic that in the book of the Bible where the name of the person who suffers the most is spelled J.O.B.?

The story of Job is one of perseverance. Job is given leprosy, has his family, money and worldly possessions taken from him and it's all a test of faith. It is a horrible story! I didn't like it when I read it but I said. "Fine, He's God. He can do what He wants. After all, it is His world. Like Job, who am I to question?"

What I can question are employers playing the part of God by expecting us to have the patience of Job in order to keep our job. They may not be giving us infectious diseases but they are sure taking our money, ruining our personal lives, and making work a living hell. (Personally, I don't have the patience of Job. I'm like the Prodigal Son--at the first sign of a party I'm off to the fatted cow happy hour for half-price matzoh and dollar shots of Manishevitz. If I need some bread I'll come back in the morning crawling on my hands and knees.)

In the Book of Job, Job finally said, "Hey God, how bout a little something for the effort?" God responded, "Don't question my authority but you're right. I have been a little harsh on you." Job then had all his riches returned ten-fold. Now that's pretty just, is it not?

Well, I'm asking, "Hey God, how bout a five-day weekend, for the heck of it?" (If you see me on the golf course mid-week you'll know God answered my prayers.)

Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.


MORE RESOURCES:
Funnymos.com – Funny News & Weird Pictures
12/15/2019 05:40 AM
Funny Christmas Gifts For The Absolute Scrooge

We all know a Ebenezer, death to the holiday cheer! That best friend on the naughty list who doesn’t feel any joy in decorating the Christmas tree, making funny gifts to the close ones, listening to happy, magical songs. The one who prefers to stay deeply hidden under the covers, …

The post Funny Christmas Gifts For The Absolute Scrooge first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
12/10/2019 08:19 AM
McDonald’s Meal Hack

Ikea, stay back! McDonald’s is giving all the instructions now and no special tools required. Maybe just a giant, sturdy straw… Just a few days ago, McDonald’s Australia shared a one-of-a-kind, curious meal hack! Fast food served with one hand!  I have a feeling that many of their burgers fell …

The post McDonald’s Meal Hack first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
10/17/2014 11:09 AM
Funny news bloopers

Check out the best funny news bloopers below: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=omyUxKuvYKY Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

The post Funny news bloopers first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
08/15/2014 02:24 AM
Ten Bingo Jokes (plus one) That Will Make Your Day

Officers were called to break up a quite interesting brawl Thursday evening after two seniors got into a physical struggle during a “presumed innocent” Bingo game. How many of the Bingo news start differently than this? Few, I tell you. But that’s not all Bingo has to offer. A good …

The post Ten Bingo Jokes (plus one) That Will Make Your Day first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
08/12/2013 01:51 AM
Russian man beats a bank at its own game

A Russian man who decided to write his own small print in a credit card contract has had his changes upheld in court. He’s now suing the country’s leading online bank for more than 24 million rubles ($727,000) in compensation. Disappointed by the terms of the unsolicited offer for a …

The post Russian man beats a bank at its own game first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
07/05/2013 01:33 AM
Teacher Wears Same Outfit to Picture Day for 40 Years

After a good long career in education, Dale Irby has retired. And so have his groovy shirt and sweater vest. In every school picture for the past 40 years, Dale wore the same 1970s-era polyester shirt and coffee-colored sweater. And let me just say he aged a whole lot better …

The post Teacher Wears Same Outfit to Picture Day for 40 Years first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
06/30/2013 10:22 AM
Two-headed turtle at San Antonio Zoo

A two-headed turtle has hatched at the San Antonio Zoo and officials have named her Thelma and Louise. The female Texas cooter arrived June 18 and will go on display Thursday at the zoo’s Friedrich Aquarium.Read the rest of Two-headed turtle at San Antonio Zoo Feed enhanced by Better Feed …

The post Two-headed turtle at San Antonio Zoo first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
06/09/2013 02:08 PM
Saudi prince sues Forbes for underestimating his wealth

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, who owns London’s Savoy hotel, claims US publication undervalued his wealth by $9.6bn Saudi Arabia’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s wealthiest businessmen who owns assets including London’s Savoy hotel, has launched a libel action against the business magazine Forbes over claims it underestimated …

The post Saudi prince sues Forbes for underestimating his wealth first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
05/19/2013 04:24 AM
“Bang With Friends” Banned from App Store

Bang With Friends used to be an application that debuted in January 2013 and quickly took off in popularity. The concept was simple: Users loged in with Facebook and selected what friends they wanted to bang. Only friends that had mutually selected the other user showed-up in a “down to …

The post “Bang With Friends” Banned from App Store first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.
10/28/2012 03:22 AM
Chinese husband sues wife for being ugly, wins $120,000

Northern Chinese resident Jian Feng divorced and sued his wife for $120,000 and won! The story goes that Mr. Feng was deeply in love with his beautiful wife until they had a baby girl. Feng was horrified at how ugly the baby was and demanded to know who his wife …

The post Chinese husband sues wife for being ugly, wins $120,000 first appeared on Funnymos.com - Funny News & Weird Pictures.


home | site map | contact us