Building Up Your Marriage with Healthy Communication
Would you like to have a stronger, healthier, more enjoyable marriage? I am sure that you would. And yet we live in a culture where about half of all marriages will shatter and end in a divorce, leaving behind the wreckage of broken adults and broken children.
If we are to build healthy marriages, we much do so "on purpose." We cannot just hope that it will happen by accident. "Hope," say the generals, "is not a good strategy." Planning, work, and the investment of time, are much better strategies for any important endeavor of life. The first characteristic of a healthy marriage for us to consider is the way that we talk to our spouse, and the way that we talk about our spouse..
Healthy marriages are characterized by supportive, encouraging, and honest communication. We want to build each other up in our marriages, never tear our spouse down (especially under the guise of being "honest"). Two thousand years ago St. Paul wrote this verse that is worthy of every refrigerator door in America,
"Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to what they need, so that you can benefit those who listen." (Paul's letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 4).
There are three important parts to Paul's verse. First, that if we don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all. I think my mother told me that as well. Second, that we should consider our listener's needs. My wife has a different set of needs than does my daughter, or my sons. We should consider how best to encourage and support that particular person. Finally, the purpose of our talking in the first place should be to benefit the listener.
When I first began to seriously apply Paul's principle, and I began to really look at what I was saying, and why I was saying it, my vocabulary and my time talking were cut by about one-third. I had become sarcastic, but funny. But my funny sarcasm was always at the expense of another. When I determined to build others up and benefit them with my speech, I talked a lot less. But I became a much better person, both inside and out.
Check your motives. If you just want to make yourself look good, you will tend to be sarcastic, and you will tend to "tease" other people by degrading them in front of others. The consequences of this will be that your friends will see your "teasing" as shameful, and your spouse and your children will grow distant from you. It may cost you your marriage.
If , on the other hand, your motives are to build up and encourage your spouse and children, then speak words of support, love, and praise to them. Your friends will view you as a loving person, and your spouse and children will always want to be near you. They will love to hear you talk, as your words will be "like honey" to them.
So choose well how you will use your words. You have the power to build up, or to tear down, just by the choices that you make.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
More Resources
| 02/12/2020 03:31 PM |
| Romance - On The Las Vegas Show Band Strip |
|
When you meet in Las Vegas finding your way to the chapel on the showband strip isn't even a good challenge. The cost of hiring a show band in Las Vegas - that's a challenge.
|
| 12/02/2019 03:11 PM |
| Professional Wedding Photographers: Capturing the Perfect Moments in a Perfect Way |
|
A wedding is an occasion that holds a lot of importance in a person's life, and creating the perfect day is quite important. The wedding day is a day when family and friends of the groom and bride come together celebrating the love of two people. There are a lot of arrangements that need to be made to make this day perfect like the venue, decorations, food, guest list, seating arrangement, DJ, etc.
|
| 11/19/2019 01:59 PM |
| Why Photography in a Wedding Is Important? |
|
Wedlock is the most beautiful bond in the life of every couple, the memory of which revitalize their soul. The flashback come around thousands of time of their event and they tell the story thousands of times of their children and their loved ones, however "a picture speaks louder than words".
|
| 02/14/2019 10:11 AM |
| Gearing Up for Spring and Summer Weddings |
|
Hooray! It is officially spring and now we have all of those gorgeous spring and summer weddings to look forward too. Highly creative caterers and florists in Mornington Peninsula are gearing up for another two seasons of fabulous weddings.
|
| 12/27/2018 03:17 PM |
| Why a Wedding Photographer Is Worth It? |
|
A wedding photographer may be something you're tempted to skimp on in order to cut wedding costs. However, a professional wedding photographer offers superior experience and knowledge, uses the highest-quality equipment and can introduce you to other wedding professionals you'll need.
|
| 08/01/2018 02:50 PM |
| How to Make Your Wedding Photographs More Beautiful |
|
Wedding is once in a lifetime kind of day for the couples and they want to make them the best day of their lives. The photographs are the memories the couple gathers from this day and they need to be beautiful. This article contains some of the brilliant ways to make your wedding photographs up to the mark.
|
| 07/31/2018 10:34 AM |
| The Best Wedding Reception Party Favors - Personalized Candy Bar Wrappers |
|
Giving a wedding reception party favor to attending guests as a small token of appreciation is a tradition that most brides and grooms still follow. While some couples try to come up with novel ideas, none of these choices match the fun and enjoyment of having personalized candy bar wrappers create a special moment for your wedding celebration.
|
| 07/26/2018 09:43 AM |
| 10 Unique and Affordable Wedding Favor Ideas |
|
With wedding season in full swing, it's likely you're either planning a wedding for this summer, or perhaps you're thinking about a wedding for the upcoming winter season. Whatever the date, wedding party favors seem to be a hot topic of debate in the realm of wedding planning. To give, or not to give-that is the question! If you're considering giving something to guests to remind them of that special day, you'll want to give them something truly unique. Move over, obligatory Jordan almonds and make way for these creative wedding favors!
|
| 07/25/2018 09:57 AM |
| Questions To Ask When Picking Your Wedding Venue |
|
If you have decided a few of your favorite wedding venues and you are almost there to sign on your final venue, there are certain things you need to look for. Here are some of the important questions to ask when picking your wedding venue.
|
| 07/25/2018 08:30 AM |
| What at the Top Classic Cars for the Wedding Day? |
|
A classic car is a perfect choice to transport the bride to the ceremony on the wedding day. There are plenty of stylish cars that are built with comfort, style and longevity in mind, such as several models produced by Rolls-Royce, Bentley and Jaguar.
|
| 07/25/2018 08:28 AM |
| Guide to a Wedding Car Hire |
|
An elegant wedding car makes it possible to create a stylish and sophisticated entrance to and from your wedding venue. Beyond the great look of the wedding car, they are also appreciated for offering a convenient form of transportation that will make sure you arrive at the venue on time.
|
| 07/25/2018 08:21 AM |
| 7 Things to Consider When Organising A Wedding Car Hire |
|
Many things need to be carefully considered when it comes to hiring a wedding car. A preferred car should not only match the theme or style of the wedding, but also come from a reputable company that delivers a reliable service.
|
| 07/25/2018 08:20 AM |
| What to Keep in Mind When Looking at a Wedding Car Hire |
|
The preferred type of wedding car is likely to relate to the theme or aesthetics of the special day. While the style of the car is important, there are also several other things that need to be considered.
|
| 07/24/2018 08:04 AM |
| Men's Wedding Bands - How to Choose the Best Wedding Ring |
|
A man generally puts lots of thought into choosing the engagement ring for their fianc?, and when it is time to select his wedding band he will realize that he is clueless about many options that are available. There're 7 things that you have to consider while choosing the men's wedding bands: metal choice, width, finish, fit, engraving and detailing.
|
| 07/20/2018 10:50 AM |
| The Worst Wedding Guests |
|
Your wedding day has finally come, but you can't shake the nervousness of unpredictable guest behavior. Drunk and flirtatious family members, demanding bridesmaids, controlling and critical mother-in-laws are some of the worst guests.
|
| 07/19/2018 11:40 AM |
| Live Stream Weddings: "I Do" in the Digital Age |
|
Live video streaming seems to be the next frontier. In the last couple of years alone, live streaming has gained substantial momentum as more couples live stream their wedding. Saying "I Do" in the digital age is becoming a popular trend.
|
| 07/18/2018 10:04 AM |
| Your Fabulous Guide To Choosing Beautiful Laser Cut Wedding Invites |
|
Are you planning to enter into a beautiful bond of love, friendship, and warmth? Does the thought of experiencing marital bliss excite you to a great extent? Well, the wedding bells are surely round the corner then.
|
| 07/03/2018 12:24 PM |
| How to Pose for Amazing Wedding Pictures - Even If You Are Not a Model |
|
A guide to posing for Brides, Grooms, Couples. This article is filled with valuable information about posing on your wedding day. Even if you are not experienced with posing this article will give you insights into how to look good in front of the camera.
|
| 06/26/2018 09:27 AM |
| Catering: It Is Time to Get Ready for Wedding Season |
|
Yes, it is the middle of the year and wedding season is at the end of the year but it is important to be prepared. Wedding season is a busy one during the warmer months which means that you won't have time for anything else during this time, especially if you are a caterer or event venue. If you want wedding season to be successful for your business, then now is the time to get ready.
|
| 06/22/2018 11:56 AM |
| Bridal Dresses and Accessories |
|
Almost every girl dreams about her wedding day, wedding-gown, veil, etc. from her childhood. Maybe you want to wear your favorite designer's dress or the one you shortlisted from magazines. Wedding shopping could be exhausting with so many appointments to make and attend meetings. The wedding is a big day for every couple and everyone wants it to be the best and perfect day.
|
| 06/17/2018 09:57 PM |
| Royal Wedding Biscuits - A Perfect Treat For The Guest On Your Special Day |
|
More than just a serving treat or a present, your wedding treats are a reminder of your big day and big commitment to your friends and family, so it's important to think outside the box. Royal Wedding Biscuit ideas guarantee your wedding favors to get noticed. Serving these small treats or giving them as a wedding favor will make a lasting impression of your special day.
|
| 06/13/2018 08:04 AM |
| Wedding Planners: Your Managers for a Beautifully Memorable Wedding |
|
There is probably nobody who never dreamt or planned for his/her wedding. No doubt the wedding day is one of the most special day for anybody. It is one of the most significant events of the life.
|
| 05/31/2018 08:58 AM |
| Have A Wonderful Marriage Celebration With Songs |
|
Whatever we arrange for a marriage, the real color is reflected only when some music is added to it. The pomp and show are incomplete without some music and everyone taking to the dance floor dancing with joy for the celebration in honor of the newly married couple.
|
| 05/29/2018 08:56 AM |
| Fashion Tips For The Perfect Wedding Wear on a Cold Season |
|
Whether you're the bride or just a guest, figuring out what to wear to a wedding on a cold weather can be quite tricky. The chilly weather just kills the mood and may discourage you to look your best. But come on, this is a special day.
|
| 05/29/2018 08:22 AM |
| Wedding Reception Ideas for Outdoor Weddings |
|
Having an outdoor wedding is very romantic but it can come with a lot of 'what-if's' with the main one being the weather. There is always the chance that it will rain on your wedding day and you will be forced to move it indoors but if you have the perfect day with lots of sunshine, here are some great ideas for the wedding reception.
|
| 05/25/2018 02:25 PM |
| How to Plan Your Own Wedding |
|
Shows step by step what goes on during the wedding planning process. Tells a bride exactly how to plan her own wedding without help from a planner.
|
| 05/25/2018 02:25 PM |
| Wedding Day Problems & Solutions |
|
Outlines the different problems that can happen during your wedding day and shows the solutions to these issues. Ultimately explains how to have the best stress-free wedding day.
|
| 05/25/2018 02:24 PM |
| Wedding Planning Recommendations |
|
Planning a wedding can get busy and messy, so there are quite a few recommendations I have for someone who may not be the most organized person to begin with. There are many different 12 month wedding planners and organizers out there, some made by The Knot, and some that you can even find at Walmart or any other stores. These planners can help you remember things you may not have been thinking about, or didn't even know you had to do. They give you checklists, timelines, outlines, and different formats of how you should be writing out seating charts, lists, etc.
|
| 05/20/2018 07:16 PM |
| A Royal Wedding on a Wedding Anniversary |
|
In a comical turn of events, we find we now share our Wedding Anniversary with a Royal couple. Beyond the fact that we watched the event unfold, including that astonishing message from Presiding Bishop Michael B. Curry, this day taught us both something significant.
|
| 05/07/2018 08:34 AM |
| Unique Alternatives to Traditional Wedding Rings |
|
The options for wedding rings are many but is it worth to spend a good amount of money on these expensive traditional rings. Here are some of the best alternatives that you can look for.
|
| 04/23/2018 09:14 AM |
| 5 Banquet Halls Based in Navi Mumbai That Are Budget-Friendly |
|
Looking for wedding venues in a city will be an awesome expertise, however after you have facilitated at hand, you'll be able to make certain of obtaining the most effective of deals. A budget-wedding venue in Mumbai can be a challenge when you have not done your research. We would like to be your calm amongst the chaos by helping you pick out the best wedding banquet halls and wedding venues in Mumbai.
|
| 04/17/2018 09:29 AM |
| Floral Mandap Hire - An Addition to Memorable Weddings |
|
Hindu Weddings are the most important aspect as it gives the two people a new beginning to start a life together, therefore every arrangement from wedding DJs to catering must be done with great consideration. The flowers are not only beautiful when decorated to a particular place but are auspicious as well, as they are used in wedding rituals in a form of garlands and are also used during the wedding ceremony for showering upon bride and groom. The flowers in Hindu weddings play a very significant role, as they are used throughout the wedding in abundance.
|
| 04/09/2018 09:53 AM |
| Your Guide to the Perfect Beach Wedding Dress |
|
When it comes to planning, most couples first select a venue for the wedding and then determine where they'll spend their honeymoon. But for some, it's a single decision. Destination weddings are dramatic, beautiful, and also in some ways, more convenient for the bride and groom.
|
| 04/03/2018 02:26 PM |
| Choosing A First Dance |
|
Having trouble coming up with the perfect first dance song? Read on and hopefully get some inspiration to help you choose.
|
| 03/26/2018 03:38 PM |
| Frequently Asked Questions About Wedding Catering |
|
If you have a wedding to cater, these questions and answers will give you an idea of what to expect in terms of cost, options, customization, preparation, and more! Get started today to plan the wedding of your dreams!
|
| 03/23/2018 03:35 PM |
| Hobbies and Interests Lists For Weddings |
|
There are many assorted hobbies and interests of products and services which may be used in weddings. There are no limitations as every couple makes their wedding day a special event. Your hobbies or interests will be beneficial.
|
| 03/21/2018 08:46 AM |
| Why You Need a Professional Videographer in a Wedding |
|
It is common knowledge that a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for the couples. Years may roll by, seasons change, kids will be born and grow, and the bride may become a grandma. But even at that time, if you ask her, she will vividly remember every moment of her wedding, including the smallest happening of a flower vase falling down from the altar.
|
| 03/21/2018 07:59 AM |
| Easy Steps To Design Your Own Wedding Dress |
|
Choosing a dress may take a good deal of time, but choosing a wedding dress will take much more time that you can imagine. What do you do when you don't find the outfit you need? The best way is to design one on your own. If you have no idea how to go about designing your own wedding dress, we suggest that you give a go to the three options given below.
|
| 03/14/2018 10:05 AM |
| The Best Wedding Destination For You |
|
If you and your sweetheart are thinking about exchanging vows on a tropical beach or other exciting location away from home, you might be curious as to which wedding destinations are most popular.Below, we've rounded up six of the world's best places to say "I do" -- whatever your taste or budget.
|
| 03/01/2018 03:58 PM |
| How You Can Make Your Wedding Day Unique |
|
If you want your wedding to be the talk-of-the-town, you need to give attention to little things in order to make it unique. A typical wedding can be predictable but the following tips will make your own to stand out among the crowd.
|
| 03/01/2018 03:56 PM |
| Finding The Right DJ For Your Wedding Reception |
|
Your wedding reception is the most important part of your wedding day and it is very important to make necessary provision for it especially as it relates to music. A disc jockey (DJ) is an essential part of your reception and finding the right one may be complicated. But since you are reading this piece, you now have help at your fingertips if you can read on.
|
| 03/01/2018 08:21 AM |
| 7 Questions to Ask Before Booking A DJ For Your Wedding |
|
Scouting for an amazing disc jockey (DJ) for your wedding is not a stroll in the park since there are many things to put into consideration. However, before booking that DJ, he must be able to provide appropriate answers to the following questions in order to prove his competence.
|
| 03/01/2018 07:51 AM |
| Simple Selection Tips To Look Glamorous In Your Wedding Gown |
|
The bride is always the center of attraction in any wedding and the wedding dress the major highlight. The truth is that as a bride you will be remembered as much as your gown is and you therefore want to be stunning on your big day. Weddings are happy events that bring lots of excitement, especially for a newly wed couple. With so many gown options and designers out there, it really can't be that hard to look beautiful. Below are a few simple but very helpful tips that will ensure you look glamorous in your gown on your wedding day.
|
| 02/20/2018 09:28 AM |
| How to Shop Music for a Grand Wedding |
|
This article briefly describes the ways in which wedding music should be planned. At the same time, this article also elaborates a few tips given by a leading Bollywood live performing band, about the ways to successfully plan any wedding event.
|
| 02/19/2018 03:31 PM |
| Tips to Decorate a Perfect Red Carpet Wedding |
|
Do you organize the wedding? then here are some Tips to Decorate a Perfect Red Carpet Wedding, that helps you to make a perfect carpet at the wedding.
|
| 02/16/2018 02:27 PM |
| How to Go About Finding Cheap Wedding Flowers |
|
Cheap wedding flowers appear to be as elusive as an Abominable Snowman. Great at an abstract level, but when push comes to shove the authenticity is this every so often is simply nothing over and above a hypothetical construct, right?
|
| 02/13/2018 10:16 PM |
| Weddings Rings - Unique Eco-Friendly Rings |
|
Eco Friendly Wood rings, a beautiful option for Wedding Rings. Natural beauty and environmentally sound.
|
| 02/05/2018 09:25 AM |
| Throwing The Quintessential Vintage Wedding |
|
As with any theme - there are particularities to consider when planning a vintage themed wedding. To achieve the desired atmosphere and overall look - make sure to tend to these key elements to add the perfect touch.
|
| 02/02/2018 10:17 PM |
| How To Write A Wedding Speech - 6 Tips to Write A Wedding Speech |
|
Giving a wedding speech or wedding toast is hard to do. Sometimes the hardest part is writing your wedding speech. Where do you start? What do you say in your wedding toast? How do you write a best mans speech? How do you write a maid of honour speech? Check out 6 tips to writing an amazing wedding speech.
|
| 01/20/2018 09:42 AM |
| What's Your Favorite Wedding Venue? |
|
Perhaps you're thinking of a destination wedding, or romance on the bay... Either way, you'll have the wedding of your dreams if you pick Morro Bay as your venue. The opportunities are endless. Call the bay, today.
|
Custom Search
More Marriage/Wedding Information:
- Group 1
- Group 2
- Group 3
- Group 4
- Group 5
- Group 6
- Group 7
- Group 8
- Group 9
- Group 10
- Group 11
- Group 12
- Group 13
- Group 14
- Group 15
- Group 16
- Group 17
- Group 18
- Group 19
- Group 20
- Group 21
- Group 22
- Group 23
- Group 24
- Group 25
- Group 26
- Group 27
- Group 28
- Group 29
- Group 30
- Group 31
- Group 32
- Group 33
- Group 34
- Group 35
- Group 36
- Group 37
- Group 38
- Group 39
- Group 40
- Group 41
- Group 42
Related Articles
Here Comes the Bride
As we hear the music begin to play the Bridal March, we all stand to welcome the new bride as she walks down the aisle in her white gown looking perfect, not a thing out of place.Not too long ago, I saw a photo of a bride on her wedding day getting ready to make this once in a life time journey down the aisle.
Wedding Anniversary Signature Frame - The Perfect Anniversary Gift!
So you're having a wedding anniversary. Congratulations! It's quite a remarkable achievement in this day and age and whether you're celebrating a 10th, 25th, or 50yr anniversary each year marks a memorable milestone and deserves a special celebration.
Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex
It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that's your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you.
Men's Wedding Rings - Should a Man Wear One or Not?
Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding ring by men was not common until recently. Whereas women have worn wedding rings for eons, men have not.
Basic Tips for Planning a Wedding
Planning a wedding should be fun and exciting. However, if you don't do the proper research and stay within your budget things can go bad in a hurry.
Invitation Anatomy 101 - Typical Components - Part 1 of 3
"What am I supposed to have in my invitation?" This is one of the most common questions I get asked. The answer is quite simple: Anything! It's true that convention doesn't quite apply anymore with respect to what 'goes' for an invitation these days.
Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget
Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower, wedding reception, or wedding related gathering. There are thousands of things to pick from when it comes to wedding favors and the message you want to convey.
Wedding Day Hair Styles - A Top Ten Checklist
The big day is fast approaching, and the energy of themoment sweeps you up. But does it carry your hair alongtoo? Use the following checklist to ensure your wedding dayhair is everything you dream it will be:1.
Design Your Own Beautiful Wedding Ring
It used to be that if you wanted to buy a nice custom-made wedding ring, you'd have to visit some fancy high-end jewelry store and be willing to part with a large portion of your wedding budget.Well that's still the case for some people, but thanks to our modern times it's now possible for you and anyone else who wants a custom wedding ring to create a unique diamond wedding ring from the comfort of your own home.
Marriage Counseling Tips: What to Do When Your Spouse Wont Talk
How to get a spouse's attention so that he or she will communicate with you is an issue that mystifies many couples. Spouses report trying many techniques, such as trying to talk rationally and logically, watching to see when a spouse is in a good mood, and waiting for a time when the television is off.
Toss a Garter or Two
The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin to throb.
Six Ways to Decorate Your Wedding Arch
Sometimes a wedding arch is a no-brainer way to spruce up your ceremony site. No-brainer, at least, until you actually have one in your hands and ready to decorate.
Wedding Planning -- Staying Within Your Wedding Budget
Planning and organizing a wedding budget can greatly reduce the stress of putting together a wedding. The very thought of a wedding conjures up images of finery and elegance, music and dance, fun, frolic and lavish spreads.
Marriage Counseling: How to Get the Most Value for Your Time and Money
Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy that can give you and your spouse valuable lifelong benefits.If the two of you are going to make a serious commitment to staying in counseling until you've worked through the problem areas, you may be looking at going once a week for three to six months or longer.
Reduce Marriage Problems: Go and Wake Up Your Luck
At one time or another, most of us have had daydreams about winning the lottery, achieving great fame, or having the perfect partner and living happily ever after. We usually visualize our imagined future good luck as something that will unexpectedly "come out of the blue" and surprise us.
Celtic Wedding Rituals -- Tying the knot
One of the most elegant rituals you can choose for a wedding is the traditional Celtic hand fasting. After the vows, the bride and groom's wrists are bound together with five colored ribbons, each symbolizing an aspect of marriage and their shared commitment.
Married 4 Good Thinking
Although I do believe in "till death do us part", the M4G concept is not so much about permanency as it is about making great things come out of your marriage.I have a challenge for you: write 10 good things that you'd like to see come from your marriage relationship.
Weddings - Who Pays For What?
Of course, times have changed and there are occasions where the traditional ways to pay for the wedding do not apply. But if you are like most people, here's the breakdown of who exactly pays for this thing (should you continue this traditional pattern):The Family of the Bride -All of Ceremony (flowers, decorations, announcements, programs, church fees, photographer/videographer, wedding favors, etc?)All of Reception (music, food, wedding cake, decorations, flowers, etc?)Wedding gown and accessoriesFather's tuxedo and mother's outfit.
How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch.
Conquer the Five Most Common Fears About Your Wedding Ceremony
It's safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day - the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night - the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful.