| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
Marriage Advice: What to Throw Overboard When Your Marriage Is In Trouble
When your marriage is in trouble and you're fighting to keep it afloat, it's time to throw anything that isn't helping you overboard. You need all your wits about you to be able to handle the crisis and tackle the problems. Anything that's an impediment or hindrance has to go. During this time of confusion and stress, you only have a limited amount of energy and time, and you have to put those resources where they count the most. You don't have time or energy to waste if you're going to be successful in saving your marriage. What do you need to consider throwing overboard? The following eight recommendations can help you to decide what to let go: 1. Release your need to be "right." If you're intent on winning arguments or proving that your partner is wrong, you are hurting your chances of creating a win-win situation in your marriage for you and your spouse. Does it really matter in the long run who's "right" or "wrong"? Or is it more important to create a harmonious marriage where the opinions of both partners are respected? 2. Let go of worrying about what others think or say. No marriage is perfect, and if others find out or suspect that you're having problems, don't let that concern you. If they stay married long enough, they'll eventually encounter problems, also, if they haven't already. There's a wonderful saying that I find helpful, "What you think of me is none of my business." 3. Give up preconceived notions of how you should react in certain situations. Maybe you've always said that if your partner had an affair, you'd end the marriage. But each situation is different, and there's not an across-the-board answer that fits every case. You'll want to look carefully at your particular situation and the extenuating circumstances and then make a careful decision that's right for you. 4. Throw out your demands to be in control. Life has a way of effectively teaching that you can protest all you want, but many things are out of your control and always will be. You can't control what your spouse chooses to do or if others criticize your approach to saving your marriage. You can only control your own decisions and actions. 5. Toss out the temptation to tell others all of the juicy details of what's happening or how your spouse has "done you wrong." Be discrete in who you talk to and in what you say. Later, if you stay married, it may be difficult for family and friends to feel comfortable around the two of you if you've painted your partner as a "louse." You can let others know that you're going through a hard time and need their support without divulging every detail. 6. Release your need to handle everything on your own without outside help. It just makes good sense to use resources that are available, such as counseling. The objectivity and experience of a professional counselor can help you to explore your options and make a wise decision that's right for you and your marriage. And everything will be kept private and confidential. 7. Let go of trying to make everything okay for everyone else. It's not possible to please everyone, so that's a losing battle. You can't pretend you're happy in your marriage just so your parents don't get upset, and you can't pretend everything is okay just so you don't hurt your spouse. Sometimes the chips just have to fall where they fall and that's it. Everyone else has to cope with it and adjust. 8. Give up the need to have others agree with your decision. It's certainly easier when others agree, but it's not necessary. Just because your best friend urges you to divorce due to your spouse's affair, that doesn't mean that's necessarily the best decision for you. It's your life, and you have to live with the consequences of your decisions and actions, so be sure that whatever you choose to do is what you really want. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES:
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Frames - Are Your Wedding Photographs Safe? One of the top priorities on a wedding day is to make sure every moment is captured with great photographs. These once-in-a-lifetime memories are irreplaceable and making sure these photographs are properly stored and displayed after the wedding should be just as important. Let Them Eat Cake -- Just Not at Your Wedding It's a fact, however odd it seems, that some brides don't like cake -- and don't want one at their wedding reception. Others like cake just fine, but prefer to serve something a little more distinctive for dessert. Wedding Receiving Line Etiquette-Greeting Your Guests with Style Even though it's a great tradition with a long history, some couples choose not to greet their guests in a receiving line fearing that this might take too long. Frank Gregoli, a top New York party planner says realistically, one should allow 30 minutes for every 100 people in the line. The Brides Greatest Ally On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator of "David Copperfield" and "Please, sir, can I have some more?" was the happiest of mortals. He had proposed and had been accepted. Have a Garden Theme Dream Wedding You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall, a gazebo, acres of fragrant jasmine and honeysuckle, and even a small, clear pond. Now it's time to take the garden wedding of your dreams a little further. Wedding Gifts for Second Marriages Second marriages can be a tricky situation for a variety of reasons. There may be problems with step kids, ex spouses or even some religious stumbling blocks for the marriage taking place. Maid of Honor Duties Being chosen as a maid of honor is a great privilege, but it also requires a large number of responsibilities in the wedding planning process. The maid of honor will likely be spending a great deal of time with the best man, since their duties are often the same and require them to work hand-in-hand in order for the wedding to be a success. Cheating Wives - Play with Your Lives! Many wives cheat on their husbands. This could be due to the fact that the husband does not give much of his time to his wife. Save the Date Etiquette: Everything You Need To Know Save the Date Cards are announcements that inform your guests of your future wedding in order to keep your special day free. They are essential in the following situations: if many of your guests are traveling to your wedding, your wedding takes place on or around a holiday, you are planning a faraway destination wedding, or your wedding will take place in a seasonally busy or tourist locale, where the flights and hotels perhaps book up early. Organising your Wedding Stationery Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests know well in advance of your forthcoming big day. How to Choose Your Wedding Shoes Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in human life. Most women wish that day could be perfect and hoping nothing would go wrong. Wedding Day Hair Styles - A Top Ten Checklist The big day is fast approaching, and the energy of themoment sweeps you up. But does it carry your hair alongtoo? Use the following checklist to ensure your wedding dayhair is everything you dream it will be:1. Have A Simple, Small, Green Wedding A wedding is one of life's major rites of passage. It is certainly something to celebrate! Today, wedding books and magazines promote large weddings so that more and more wedding products can be sold. Las Vegas Wedding Receptions Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go absolutely wild. For most people, the ceremony is not where the real action is. Keeping A Marriage Romantic My belief is that most relationship problems should be given less attention .. Wedding Loans: Perfect Finance Option for a Perfect Wedding After seeing each other for years and being tagged as 'in love' since eternity, you desire to bring this to a logical end. You are wrong if you think I am suggesting a divorce even before you are actually married. How to Find the Right Bridesmaid Dresses for Your Wedding The kind of bridesmaid dresses your bridal attendants should should wear depends on the type of wedding you end up having.What's your wedding theme?Do you have a particular theme in mind? For instance, if you had a nautical theme for your wedding as a whole, you might want to have special sailor-style dresses for your bridesmaids. Wedding Favors That Embrace Nature's Beauty A wedding planned in the spirit of nature provides the perfect opportunity for selecting wedding favors fashioned after elegant symbols consisting of, but not limited to maple leaves, butterflies, lavender buds, and roses. While there is certainly no shortage of wedding favors available today that are inspired by nature, those that are carefully designed with distinctive style and artistic detail remain popular choices. Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things differently than you do? Do you get upset if he or she has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, you have bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your marriage. Here are three important points to consider:1. Top Wedding Fitness Questions (and their answers) As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked the same wedding fitness questions over and over again. Brides (and grooms) usually are looking for simple and easy ways to get in better shape for their special day.
|
| home | site map | contact us |
