Relationships Information

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship


1. Be predictable.

When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate.

Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do.

This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!

2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable."

No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos.

Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven's sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!"

3. Make sure your words match the message.

Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying.

Here's a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, "How do I look?" (And she's wearing a dress you don't particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.)

Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, "You look great." You don't really mean it and a part of her knows you really don't mean it. But, you leave it at that.

This might not seem like a big deal - we all have done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now.

Here's how to match the words with the nonverbal: "I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.)

She's not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She's not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message.

You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met.

Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!

4. Believe the other person is competent.

I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.)

Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out.

Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!"

5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets.

If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person.

Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining.

Now, please. I'm not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge.

However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

6. Let YOUR needs be known - loudly.

Be a little - no, be a lot - self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!)

Here's a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "win him back." So she begins an all out effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "be nice" and meet every need he ever said he had. She's going to "fill his tank with goodies."

Doesn't work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even resentful: "Why is she doing this NOW!" She's hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive - if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine - just doesn't work. It's perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn't say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so "nice and caring?"

Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties.

Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: "I need?x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?"

He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, "What about my needs?" You respond, "I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly."

Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted?

Didn't you respect that person?

Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn't that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?

7. State who YOU are - loudly.

It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are.

You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person.

This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you're like most of us, you haven't given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don't you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities?

Don't you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You're concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life?

Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn't destroy trust. But it doesn't create it either.

And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers.

Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for?

And then?begin letting significant people in your life know.

They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character.

They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you.

8. Learn to say NO!

Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO!

Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life.

You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don't stop, you demand they stop. If they don't stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment.

To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED.

Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear?

Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well?

9. Charge Neutral.

When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral.

Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear.

Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral.

Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don't speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly.

You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship.

You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won't fly or fall apart.

You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don't people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others?

Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your "quiet center," remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness.

10. Dig into the dirt.

Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed.

Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen?

The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be.

Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self.

Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face.

Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com


MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships Articles from EzineArticles.com
01/21/2019 12:18 PM
Relationships: Is It A Good Sign If Someone Is Extremely Attracted To Another Person?
While one could come across another person and not really experience anything, they could come across someone else and it could be as if their whole being has been hijacked. But, even though this is the case, it doesn't mean that one will see this as a bad thing.
01/16/2019 03:24 PM
Emotional Support: Does Someone Want To Have Their Problems Solved If They Are Emotional?
If someone's emotions are not settled and they are all at sea, so to speak, there is the chance that they are going through a challenging time. Or, it could show that something in their life has had a big impact on them.
12/26/2018 02:26 PM
Relationships: Do Some People Shut Down Emotionally After A Breakup?
There are a number of things that can cause someone to experience incredible pain, and a breakup is one of those things. When someone experiences a break up, it can feel as though their whole has come to end.
12/18/2018 12:57 PM
My Little Dear, It's Not Warm Outside!
Once again, it is the Christmas season, which means I have to put up with people offended by everything, particularly that pertains to Christmas. When I was young, we had a little saying, "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you." And as far as I understand, we stood by that saying. Most people today have never heard that saying and maybe somebody ought to educate them on some of the realities of life. If words are hurting you, something is wrong with "you." Everybody is offended by something. I am offended by people who are offended by things I say, which makes no sense whatsoever to me. Where people got this offend-itis disease is beyond me. I wonder if there is any cure for this kind of disease?
12/18/2018 12:56 PM
Relationships: Can Someone Have Affairs When They Have A Fear Of Abandonment?
If someone is in a relationship that they no longer want to be in, it might not be long until it comes to an end. Perhaps they have been together for a number of months, or they may have been with each other for a number of years.
12/18/2018 11:31 AM
Relationships: What Can Someone Do If They Keep Ending Up With The Wrong Person?
If someone had just bought a car, there is a strong chance that they would have taken it for a test drive first. This would have given them the opportunity to find out what it is like and to see if it would be a good match for them. Along with this, they would have most likely asked a number of questions about the car.
12/10/2018 10:44 AM
Can The Fear Of Abandonment Cause Someone To Attract People Who Are Emotionally Dependent?
In order for two people to have a relationship together, they will both need to be able to behave like interdependent adults. The reason for this is that if only one of them acts like an interdependent adult, it will stop this from taking place.
12/10/2018 10:43 AM
Relationships: Can Someone's Split-Off Parts Cause Them To Have Affairs?
There are a number of things that can cause a relationship to come to an end, and some of these things receive more exposure in the public eye than others. For example, it is not uncommon to hear about someone who had an abusive partner and how this caused their relationship to come to an end.
12/06/2018 09:40 PM
Relationships: Can The Fear Of Abandonment Cause Someone Let Anyone Into Their Life?
In the same way that it wouldn't be a good idea for someone to put anything into their mouth; it also wouldn't be a good idea for them to open themselves up to anyone. Therefore, the level of discernment that they show when it comes to the former will need to be shown when it comes to the latter.
12/03/2018 11:47 AM
Relationships: Can Shame Stop Someone From Reaching Out To Others?
What can't be denied is that no one is their own island; human beings need each other. This is why it has been said that although some people say that they are independent, this is nothing more than an illusion.
11/29/2018 12:45 PM
When WE FEEL Taken For Granted
What happens when you have spent the whole day working hard, doing all the household chores and at the end of the day, you feel you deserve a rest. So you prop your feet up, pour yourself a glass of wine and plate yourself some fine cheese, and your spouse walks into the room and says, wow, you are truly enjoying the good life!
11/28/2018 03:10 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Only Feel Good About Themselves When They're In A Relationship?
What one may find is that they are able to feel good themselves, even if they are not in a relationship. It will then be clear that they are not going to be dependent on anyone else in order to experience positive feelings.
11/26/2018 01:25 PM
Mother Enmeshed Men: Why Do Some Men Only Have Casual Sex?
For some men, casual sex is something that they will engage in from time to time, while there are others who only have casual sex. When it comes to the former, this could be something that takes place after a man has just been in a relationship.
11/26/2018 11:51 AM
Don't Apologise for Needing to Feel Safe
Just don't do it. There is a reason you need to feel safe. A very good reason. An honourable and right and perfectly sensible reason. So, please don't apologise.
11/26/2018 11:46 AM
Mother Enmeshed Men: Why Do Some Men Go Off Sex When They Are In A Relationship?
Before a man has even got to the point where he is in a relationship with a woman, there is a strong chance that they will already be having sex. If this is not the case, it could show that he is religious.
11/26/2018 11:14 AM
Mother Enmeshed Men: Why Do Some Men Feel Guilty When They Are In A Relationship?
If a man was to end up in an intimate relationship, he may find that he feels fairly comfortable. Perhaps he is with someone who he has a good connection with and is physically attracted to.
11/19/2018 02:14 PM
The Prodigal Son and His Father
The father in this parable displayed all of his character when his younger son asked for his share of his inheritance before it is due. Reminds me of the scripture "Ask and you shall receive." He never tried to stop his son from taking off.
11/19/2018 12:56 PM
Relationships: Do Some People Only Know Who They Are When They Are Being Controlled?
Naturally, someone's life is going to be far more fulfilling if the people in their life are able to respect their boundaries. Having friends, family members and even a partner who can do this is going to make it easier for them to express themselves.
11/15/2018 05:34 PM
Relationships: Are Some Men Too Emotionally Underdeveloped To Have A Relationship With A Woman?
It is not uncommon for a woman to complain about how she keeps ending up with men who are emotionally unavailable, and it would be easy to say that a woman like this is incredibly unlucky. Time after time, she ends up experiencing the same outcome - it can then seem as though men need to get it together.
11/14/2018 12:41 PM
Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Leave An Abusive Relationship If They Feel Worthless?
If someone was to end up in a relationship that is abusive, there are at least two things that they can do. They can end up cutting their ties and moving on, or they can put up with what is taking place.
11/12/2018 12:17 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some Men Put Up With Bad Behaviour When They Are In A Relationship?
Although some men will have certain standards when they are in a relationship, there are going to be others who don't. As a result of this, not every man is going to have same experience when they are with a woman.
11/12/2018 12:08 PM
Relationships: Are Some People Addicted To Feeling Rejected?
It could be said that although rejection is part of life, there are some people who experience it more than others. Now, at times this will be due to how someone lives their life.
11/09/2018 02:04 PM
Relationships: How Can Someone Know If They Are Ready For A Relationship?
In the same way that there are a number of reasons as to why someone would want to eat something, there are also a number of reasons as to why someone would want to have a relationship. If someone wants to eat something, it could simply show that they are hungry.
11/09/2018 09:52 AM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Act As Though They Are An Extension Of Others?
A lot of attention has been given to the type of person who sees others as an extension of themselves. In this case, someone won't believe that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, and interests, and are, therefore, individuals.
11/07/2018 10:57 AM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Become Obsessed When They're In A Relationship?
When someone is in a relationship, they may find that their behaviour doesn't really change, and that this allows them to carry on as normal. Clearly, their life will be different as they will be with someone, but this won't have caused them to become someone else.
11/06/2018 03:11 PM
Relationships: Is There A Difference Between Helping Someone And Trying To Rescue Them?
If one was to find out that a friend or a family member is going through a tough time, there are a number of things that they could do. They could end up calling them up, or they could go and see them.
10/25/2018 12:07 PM
How to Get Someone Sober
If someone you care about drinks too much or abuses drugs, you know how hard you've tried to get him sober. You probably already know that what you've done hasn't worked. Try these suggestions to increase the odds that the person you care about will get sober.
10/24/2018 03:00 PM
Are We Attracted To The People Who Will Allow Us To Replay Unresolved Childhood Trauma?
When it comes to what causes one person to be attracted to another, it is can be easy to believe that it is simply due to effect that the other persons personality and/or appearance has had on them. These two factors will then have had the biggest effect on why someone is sexually attracted to another person.
10/22/2018 09:48 AM
Relationships: Can Someone's Inner Critic Cause Them To Put Up With Abusive Behaviour?
If one is used to spending time around people who are abusive, they can come to the conclusion that they are a victim. It is then not that one is playing a part in what is taking place; it is that this is just how their life is.
10/18/2018 04:03 PM
Intimacy: Can Someone Be Unaware Of Their Own Fear Of Intimacy?
If someone has the desire to be in an intimate relationship, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they meet the right person. Alternatively, they may find that they are only able to get so far.
10/16/2018 03:53 PM
Betray Someone - What Happens?
To betray an ideal or a loved one can feel deeply disturbing. There are options in how we choose to respond when we are let down by others.
10/15/2018 10:37 AM
Abuse and the Eggshell Skull Rule
It suddenly occurred to me, having written "a difference between a victim and a survivor", that there is subjectivity out there regarding who can legitimately claim they have been abused. I don't think it's a coincidence that I have just learned about the eggshell skull rule. It's worth knowing about.
10/15/2018 10:36 AM
Three Ways to Ease the Prohibitive Conscience
If our key formative relationships featured manipulation, because it was an easy way to control us, we may have developed what can be termed a prohibitive conscience - a conscience based in fear, operating out of guilt. Likewise, if we have encountered people who are controlling, and we haven't been brought up in such a way, such manipulation can be jarring.
10/15/2018 10:36 AM
Delighting In Dealing With Difficult People
You sense it straight away, booking an appointment over the phone. The person on the other end is efficient if not a little curt. With every second it seems there is a heightening urgency in their voice. You feel as if you're being intentionally problematic for them, even though you're diligently polite.
10/15/2018 10:33 AM
Kindness Is Differential Blindness
If life has taught me anything it is that I am selfish. I'm being honest. I don't see very well at times. But times when I do see well, I'm prone to going my own way. I like to agree with those who think like me, and I tend to judge people who think differently. I am not very kind at times. Indeed, I think it is more the case that kindness is something I've had to work on. It isn't something that comes naturally. I think this is the case for most of us.
10/15/2018 10:11 AM
The Thing About Trust
Trust is a dangerous thing. You give it when you determine it is deserved. We lavish it on those we esteem, those we have given leadership of our lives to.
10/08/2018 03:50 PM
Relationships: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Associate Love With Drama?
In the same way that some car journeys can be peaceful and obstacle free and some can be noisy and full of obstacles, relationships can also fall into one of these two categories. What is clear is that it is going to be far healthier for someone to be in a relationship that falls into the fist category than one that falls into the second.
10/01/2018 01:14 PM
Are You Relying On Luck To Get What You Want?
When I used to go to different bars and clubs on a regular basis many, many years ago, there were often men who would talk about how they hoped to 'get lucky'. Sometimes I knew the people who would say this and, at other times, this was something that I would overhear.
09/27/2018 05:12 PM
Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Settle Down If They Have Been With A Lot Of People?
In the past, it was the norm for people to wait until they were married before they had sex, and they would have most likely stayed with the same person until their time on this earth came to an end. Thanks, in part, due to the 'sexual liberation' of the 60s and 80s, this has all changed.
09/26/2018 01:53 PM
Social Media: Has Social Media Caused Some People To Trade Intimacy For Attention?
When someone shares something online, they can end up receiving a fair amount of attention, and this can allow them to feel good about themselves. Even so, what happens online might only be a small part of their life.
09/24/2018 03:18 PM
Don't Make Another Person The Centre Of Your World
When I was reading the book, 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway', there was a chapter that went into how important it was to have many different areas of interest in life, and not to put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak. The author, Susan Jeffers, pointed out that a lot of people make their partner the centre of their life.
09/20/2018 01:09 PM
Dating: Should Someone Be Suspicious If Another Person Acts Extremely Interested In The Beginning?
If someone was to come across a dog, and this dog was to jump up down, making it clear that he/she was pleased to see them, there would be no reason for them to wonder what was going on. This is due to the fact that this just what dogs are like; they don't need a reason to be warm and responsive.
09/13/2018 11:10 AM
What Was Cute In Romance May Become Acute In Conflict
A number of years ago I read a few books by David Richo, and this is someone who really knows what he is talking about. Whether it is relationships or self-development in general, his books are packed full of insights.
09/10/2018 01:36 PM
Why You and Me Doesn't Equal Three
Art therapy class taught me a lot. It consisted of a period of reflective expression in the form of a created piece of art, which was followed by a period of group therapy. It was amazing what took place through sharing what we had drawn, written, painted or sculpted.
09/10/2018 01:36 PM
Safe Versus Unsafe Emotions
Emotions belong in two worlds or in two domains. They are either healthy or unhealthy, productive or unproductive, primary or secondary, direct or indirect, safe or unsafe.
09/10/2018 01:34 PM
How Do I Know If I Should Help You or Not?
I have a real problem. If I listen to others, I really don't know whether I should help you or not. Actually, I do know, but it occasionally gets me into trouble, because at times I have offered to help those that some I know don't want me to help. For all manner of reason, good reasons and not-so-good reasons, helping sometimes creates problems in my relationships.
09/10/2018 01:33 PM
Relationships: Why Do Some People Lose Themselves When They Get Into A Relationship?
When two people get together and start a relationship, they can both have their own life. There is going to be how one person likes spend to their life and then there is going to be how the other person likes to spend their life.
09/06/2018 10:29 AM
What Did Your Parents Teach You About Men And Women?
I remember reading 'Family Secrets' by John Bradshaw and in this book he said, "it was and is your parents' actually lives that educated you: not what they said, but what they did". I took this to mean that what my parents did was far more important than what came out of their mouth.
09/05/2018 02:52 PM
Here's a Person to Be Wary of
The world is full of lovely people, so don't get me wrong if this sounds a bit far-fetched or gets us talking about negative things too much. But the fact is there are people in our lives that gain far too much access to us.
08/29/2018 11:33 AM
Can 'iron Sharpens Iron' Become an Excuse for Abuse?
Another goblet of gold from my wife, here. The conversation went this way: Me: you say that 'encouragement is sometimes about finding the right time for iron to sharpen iron.' Does that mean we just need to wait for the right time to give someone a truth they may not like to hear? Wife: I think it's more complicated than that. There's more to be considered. Iron sharpening iron, as a method of encouragement, must be a tremendously complex idea. There's a stand-alone article in that. Me: okay. That sounds exciting.


home | site map
© 2006