Sexuality Information

Boyfriend Hunting: Where the Men Are


Introduction

So you're on the prowl for a boyfriend, hunting for Mr. Right to potentially build a lasting and fulfilling relationship? You feel like you've got your head on straight, your life is in order, and you're ready and available for love. Perfect! The most important pre-requisite that's needed before embarking out into the dating jungle is a solid sense of self, an understanding of your needs and values, and a psychological readiness and maturity for navigating through a variety of interpersonal situations and relationship issues. You're equipped, motivated, excited? so where in the world do you find those quality guys to get acquainted with?!

As gay men, it can be a bit more challenging in our quest for potential dating partners since we're not always easily recognizable, that is unless you've got a finely-tuned sense of "gaydar." We don't have a rubber stamp with the word "GAY" printed on our foreheads to cause us to stand out from the crowd, so knowing who it's safe to approach can be made more difficult than our heterosexual counterparts face. But, it is not impossible, for as the saying goes: "We are everywhere!" This article will offer possible settings that will increase your chances for meeting other gay men, as well as to provide some practical tips for approaching these venues.

Attraction Venues

According to David Steele,M.A. and Marvin Cohen,M.A. from The Relationship Coaching Institute (*)in their program for relationship success training for singles, attraction venues are places and activities to meet potential dating partners, and there are four levels:

Level 1: Public Places. These are places such as malls, festivals, banks, grocery stores, etc. It's possible to meet someone compatible in these places, but not likely because there's such a large diversity of people to pool through.

Level 2: Generic Singles Settings. These would include bars, singles clubs, personal ads; places where you would specifically expect to find singles congregating. The odds are increased for meeting someone in these venues, but can still be difficult to find "qualified" partners.

Level 3: Special Interest Settings. Sports clubs, fitness classes, targeted workshops on a particular topic, etc. An even better place to meet people because you're living your life doing something that you enjoy with other like-minded people, already giving you something in common to build from. These are great places to make new friends too!

Level 4: Shared Mission Sites. This is the best venue to meet your life partner because it's a place where the people have a shared sense of values, purpose, and passion, which are important ingredients for relationship success. Places like churches, service clubs, and personal growth venues would be examples of such settings where they act as a community with mutual support and involvement.

You can meet the man of your dreams in any of these venues, however the more aligned the venue is with who you are and what you're looking for, the higher probability of success exists. Choose to involve yourself in settings that will attract the type of men you want to affiliate with.

Top 5 Places to Meet Gay Men

Through interviews and polls taken with clients and men in the gay community, the following are the top popular picks for meeting potential guys for dating and mating.

1.Gay Bars & Dance Clubs: While these may be obvious places that gay men can flock to, be careful. You can meet a lot of nice guys in these venues, however the environment can be highly sexualized and prone to draw men who abuse drugs or alcohol and are only "cruising" for sex. If you're seeking a boyfriend, be clear on that and screen the men you meet carefully.

2.Personal Ads & Internet Chatrooms: Whether it be newspaper or telephone ads, online personals, or dating services, these can be ideal places to search for men, particularly for those who have extra-busy lifestyles or who don't live in large gay urban areas. These ads are a great way to creatively spell out exactly what you're looking for. Always meet in a public place if it gets that far and don't rely solely on this method at the expense of live human contact and social interaction.

3.Volunteering: Get to know the resources and organizations available in your nearest gay community and volunteer your time to some that resonate with and are meaningful to you. Examples might include The Human Rights Campaign, gay youth groups, gay community centers and health clinics, task forces, etc.

4.Friends: Build your gay social support system and expand your gay friendship circle. The more people you know, the more people your friends might be able to introduce you to. Lots of fulfilling relationships have started from "set-ups" by friends. It doesn't always work out, but friends can be a valuable resource because they know you and your interests.

5.Gay-Themed Events: Pride parades and festivals, drag queen shows, gay theatrical productions, charity events, classes and workshops with gay topics, parties, gay support groups, church activities, gay trade shows, gay speed dating events, etc.

Also, don't forget other places such as coffee shops, beaches, work, business networking events, restaurants, art galleries, museums, and health clubs as other possible gay guy meeting places.

Dating Tips for the Hunt

·Meeting Mr. Right takes careful planning and preparation; it's typically not always a spontaneous, out-of-the-blue experience. Know yourself and what you believe in and stand for, as well as what you're looking for. Ensure that you're emotionally available and ready for a possible relationship.

·Be friendly, open, receptive, and assertive when socializing. Your life partner could be anywhere, so don't limit yourself exclusively to certain meeting places. Expand your horizons and be open to new possibilities.

·Avoid expecting every encounter to lead somewhere. Not every hot guy you meet is Mr. Right. Use your screening skills and assess true goodness-of-fit.

·Don't let dating consume your life. Live your life in a balanced and fulfilling way. Be happily single.

·Defeat negative thinking that could undermine your confidence in social situations. Be affirming toward yourself and let each experience be a new learning opportunity to help you improve yourself and your approaches.

Conclusion

So there you have it! Mr. Right is anywhere and everywhere; you just need the readiness and emotional reserves to take the risks inherent in meeting new people. While dating venues can be important in helping you increase the odds of finding a good match, the most important ingredients are what you bring to the table. As long as you bring a positive attitude, strong self-esteem, good social skills, and an upbeat and assertive demeanor to the playing field, your chances of narrowing the market down and having a triumphant hunt for your future husband are great. Don't delay? boyfriend hunting season opens now!

*Reference: Steele, David & Cohen, Marvin (2003). Conscious Dating: Relationship Success Training For Singles. Relationship Coaching Institute. www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com and www.consciousdating.org.

© 2005 Brian L. Rzepczynski

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs,and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

Brian Rzepczynski holds a master's degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach, in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, toward developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion" published in May 2005. Visit his website at


MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships:Sexuality Articles from EzineArticles.com
07/16/2019 05:06 PM
Undressing a Woman With Your Eyes
Recently a friend of mine confessed that whenever he saw a woman or met one at a party or a function he always undressed her with his eyes. He fantasized about how she would look without clothes, without her sari and blouse. He further told me that he would also imagine how she would look with her lingerie and sometimes wondered whether she was wearing any at all.
07/15/2019 10:48 AM
Over Time Women Often Become Focused on Family
Women may enjoy providing for the needs of others. Obligations of marriage - regular sex vs. support. Women are told they should enjoy sex.
07/08/2019 09:50 AM
Young Women Tend to Focus on Their Attractiveness
Attracting male attention - women's role in arousing men. Women look for affection from men. Women define their lives in terms of their relationships.
07/02/2019 10:44 AM
At Puberty Girls Develop a Child-Bearing Capacity
Girls are much more timid & passive than boys. Girls focus on relationships rather than eroticism. Ovulation is a subconscious process.
06/24/2019 11:39 AM
Men Tend to Focus on Opportunities for Regular Sex
Male sexual frustration. The dog & ball theory. Men's needs are immediate & obvious.
06/19/2019 10:51 AM
Young Men Tend to Focus on Enjoying Their Arousal
Adolescent boys & men are aroused on a regular basis. Men do not associate sex with emotional attachment. Intercourse frequencies depend on male sex drive.
06/10/2019 09:26 AM
At Puberty Boys Develop a Reliable Arousal Cycle
Boys focus on doing & fighting. Boys are sexually active from adolescence onwards. Orgasm is the trigger for ejaculation.
06/04/2019 10:35 AM
5 Tips to Locate the Best Sexologist
For enjoying a blissful conjugal life, the couple has to have excellent compatibility, love, and respect for each other. Besides, sex also plays a significant role in preserving a man and woman relationship. But in countries like India, talking about sex and sexual problems is still a taboo which so far has been the reason for the destruction of many happy relationships and marriages.
06/03/2019 10:22 AM
The Influence of Religious Beliefs on Sexuality
Culture & family can affect sexuality. Justification of marriage - regular sex versus support for family. Sex is taboo because of differences in responsiveness.
05/27/2019 04:01 PM
Responsibility for Contraception and Abortion
Men do not dwell on consequences in general. Responsibility for contraception & abortion is attributed to women. Personal hygiene, genital infections, AIDs & STDs.
05/21/2019 12:48 PM
Diversity: Our Sex, Our Personality and Our Gender
Our sex is determined before birth & cannot be changed. Only men can obtain sexual gratification from others. Gender is a concept based on society stereotypes.
05/13/2019 10:01 AM
Reproduction Involves More Than Just Intercourse
We have two sexes because they are different to each other. Men's key reproductive focus is intercourse & enjoying arousal. Women's key reproductive focus is enjoying affection & family.
05/09/2019 03:30 PM
How to Choose a Bisexual Dating Site
Are you bisexual? Do you want to find the right dating partner for you? If yes, make a try online. This article will help you righteously. The matter of fact is that the mainstream heterosexual society has started accepting bisexuality as a common form of relationship. In spite of having debates and sharp controversies, it has been considered as an authentic sexual orientation
05/06/2019 09:58 AM
Everyone Achieves Orgasm in Similar Ways
Orgasm is a basic response of the human body. Mental arousal is required before stimulation is effective. Emotional stimuli cannot cause orgasm.
04/29/2019 10:19 AM
Explaining Men & Women's Sexual Behaviours
Men enthusiasm & women's embarrassment over sex. Women's sexual passivity with a lover. Gay men are highly promiscuous.
04/22/2019 10:50 AM
Justifying Biological & Evolutionary Precedents
Other female mammals do not appear to orgasm. Male orgasm is key to reproduction. Female orgasm plays no role in reproduction.
04/15/2019 10:46 AM
Providing Unbiased Sex Information
Sex comes with issues that need to be discussed. Girls need to appreciate men's need for erotic stimuli. Boys need to understand women's need for affectionate companionship.
04/08/2019 09:30 AM
The Story Behind the G-Spot Myth (1982)
G-spot only explains orgasms women think they have. Promotion of the vagina is always popular with men. Sexology is not a rigorous discipline.
04/01/2019 09:47 AM
Rejection of Statistical Sex Research
Sex research challenges male fantasies. Men are convinced that women should orgasm through intercourse. The research findings are ignored.
03/26/2019 02:13 PM
With or Without Tassels?
With or without tassels was the only question to be asked of the parents of a new-born baby in the binary world of the 1940s. It was a question which once answered was assumed to define a person for a lifetime; a question that never needed to be asked again. People were born men or women and they were assumed to conform to those stereotypes. More babies could only arrive through the interaction of this duality and so it was natural to believe that men were only attracted to women and women were only attracted to men. A challenge to this conventional wisdom came in 1953 from the activities of Lord Montague of Beaulieu.
03/26/2019 12:38 PM
Shere Hite's Research Findings (1976)
Shere Hite focused on sexually educated & confident women. Clitoral stimulation is too explicit for most women. The clitoris only works when combined with fantasies.
03/25/2019 11:12 AM
Erect Penis Benefit: A Better Memory?
An erect penis is usually involved in sexual activity. Now there appears to be evidence that sexual frequency may have a positive impact on one's memory.
03/25/2019 11:10 AM
A Masturbation Club: What to Expect
Not surprisingly, masturbation is an act that is most often committed alone; indeed, social norms dictate that masturbation in a public setting is unacceptable and frequently illegal. Of course, sometimes partners will include mutual masturbation as part of their sex lives, but in general it's considered a private activity. However, in many places, people may take advantage of a masturbation club, a situation in which men and/or women gather together to enjoy onanism together.
03/19/2019 12:21 PM
Penis Odor From Hyperthyroidism
No man wants to be known for the penis odor that attacks when his trousers are dropped. Hyperthyroidism can sometimes be one cause of excessive and strong penis odor.
03/18/2019 11:52 AM
Asking Young Women to Define Female Sexuality
Young women want to attract a mate. Sexuality is broader than responsiveness. Older women are less sexually amenable.
03/12/2019 09:40 AM
Bill Masters & Virginia Johnson's Research (1966)
Masters & Johnson simply assumed that women experienced orgasm through intercourse. There were no findings as such - just observations. Women rarely talk of turn-ons or sexual pleasure.
03/04/2019 09:40 AM
Difficulties in Assessing Women's Sexuality
Male fantasies dominate our understanding of female sexuality. The focus is always intercourse. Researchers much challenge that they are told.
02/25/2019 09:39 AM
Alfred Kinsey's Findings (1948 and 1953)
Alfred Kinsey catalogued how many orgasms people had, He found women orgasm much less commonly than men do. His work was ignored.
02/18/2019 09:07 AM
Research Into Human Sexuality
The internal reproductive organs. The phallus is an erectile sex organ. Sexual differentiation.
02/11/2019 02:22 PM
Sex Dating Online - The Way to Hook With Ladies of All Ages
Sex dating has taken on new dimensions nowadays. With the growth of the internet, there are now a number of websites who claim to be the best free hookup sites.
02/11/2019 12:44 PM
About Jane Thomas
Jane is able to explain how female orgasm is achieved - both the phyiscal stimulation & erotic turn-ons involved. So-called knowledge is just assumptions. Emotional beliefs vs. accepting the research findings.
02/04/2019 04:12 PM
Intercourse & Orgasm
Sexual differences & ignorance make sex taboo. Sex is always portrayed as a mutual pleasure. Women suffer most of the disadvantages of sex.
01/28/2019 11:17 AM
Female Sexual Arousal
Most women refuse to comment on sex & orgasm. Male fantasies dominate but are unsubstantiated by women. Most women have no idea how orgasm is achieved.
01/21/2019 12:17 PM
Sex Research
Jane Thomas provides factual & logical sex information for those who are interested. All Jane's content is available for free on the web or via Amazon. Hopefully in the future, others will be motivated to contribute to this project.
01/21/2019 10:41 AM
Low Sex Drive in Men: Why It Happens and What to Do
Low sex drive in men is a common side effect of aging, but it doesn't have to spell the end of a healthy sex life. Here's what you need to know.
01/17/2019 02:37 PM
Sex Education Today
Children need knowledge for their own protection. We should learn from the experience of older people. We need to differentiate between fact & fiction.
01/16/2019 02:02 PM
Everything a Man Ever Wanted to Know About Male Ejaculation
Way more goes into male ejaculation that one might think. Let's talk about what it takes for men to climax.
01/15/2019 08:59 PM
Penis Protection for the Winter Nudist
The male nudist knows that he needs to practice proper penis protection when enjoying his nude activities. This is especially true during the bitter cold winter months.
01/10/2019 05:17 PM
Introduction to Learn About Sexuality
'Learn About Sexuality' provides unbiased sex information that avoids misconceptions, contradictions and anomalies in both facts and logic. Explanations include: the responsibilities that come with penetrative sex & how we can pleasure & be pleasured by a lover. Sex education backed by the research findings.
01/07/2019 12:50 PM
Andropause Is Not a Myth: The Very Real Symptoms of Male Menopause
Feeling moody, weak, and no the urge to turn the lights down low and get freaky? If so, a man might be feeling some of the symptoms of male menopause. Andropause is no joke - read on to learn more.
01/07/2019 12:50 PM
Smegma 101: What It Is and How to Deal With It
No more dirty little secrets! It's time to talk and learn all about symptoms of smegma and find out how to deal and prevent future run-ins with smegma.
12/26/2018 01:12 PM
Say Good-Bye to Penis Rash in the New Year
When a man has an otherwise attractive member marred by penis rash, it can be a turn-off to both current and potential partners. For the new year, men should take steps to address rash issues.
12/26/2018 01:11 PM
5 Serious Causes of Discolored Penile Skin: Identification, Treatment, and Prevention
Discolored penile skin can have any host of causes. Today, let's do a little early education in the more serious causes of penis discoloration.
12/13/2018 01:48 PM
The Itching Penis: What to Do Now to Stop It
An itching penis may not be an emergency, but it can feel like one when the urge to scratch is overwhelming. To eliminate this problem, it's helpful to identify the source. Here are some of the common reasons for the
12/12/2018 01:05 PM
Seven Tips to Improve Penis Skin Health
The key to a healthy penis is paying attention to the skin. Here are seven tips for improving penis skin health.
12/07/2018 09:59 PM
Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? 5 Causes of Pain During Urination in Men
When men experience pain during urination it can be a pretty scary thing. However, there are several reasons a man may have pain during urination, here's a short of causes and how to cope with painful urination.
12/07/2018 10:08 AM
5 Changes You Can Make Now to Improve Penis Health and Function
In order to maintain optimal personal wellness, there are a variety of ways for men to improve penis health. Eat clean, drink lots of water, stay calm, reduce alcohol intake and always use protection - these are just some of the lifestyle changes that all men can make.
12/07/2018 10:07 AM
Small Penis Worries: Micropenis or Not?
Catching a quick glance at other men's penises in the locker room - something most guys do on occasion - enables a bro to see how he measures up. Since many men worry needlessly about their penis size, convinced that they must be cursed with a small penis, getting a reality check this way can be reassuring and helpful. Although a small penis is not a penis health concern, a guy could legitimately be concerned if he possesses a true micropenis.
12/06/2018 09:06 PM
Penis Skin and Oxidative Stress
Handsome, good looking penis skin makes a man's member much more appealing to a partner. Maintaining healthy penis skin means taking steps to treat or prevent damage caused by oxidative stress.
12/06/2018 10:28 AM
Penis Sensation Protection: Common Sense Tips
When a guy enjoys sex (whether by himself or with a partner), the physical pleasure comes from having an appropriate degree of penis sensation. Guys should follow tips for maintaining proper sensitivity.


home | site map
© 2006