Heal Thyself First

As I connect with more and more women I am seeing that many have a desperate need for a man. I had one woman tell me that her ex-boyfriend put a gun to her head and told her to get out of his life. Stop following him, stop calling him and leave him alone. This woman felt that he was just having a "bad day" and wanted to know when would be a good time to call him and tell him that she loves him. I was absolutely amazed. This is definitely a woman who doesn't love herself. Why would she constantly pursue a person who clearly doesn't want her?

I recently read that it takes 11 years to totally get over the hurt of a past relationship. Although you have moved on the pain still lingers on. So imagine if you leave one relationship for another relationship for another relationship, that is at least over thirty years of healing. Who wants to go through that many years of hurt and trying to heal?

I have learned from personal experience that when you go from one relationship to another, you are not allowing yourself time to heal. You go into the new relationship with the scars and battle wounds from the past relationship. Although you are thirsty for love you still cause drama because you are not able to let go of that past relationship. You are standing in a karate position waiting to block any situation that comes your way because you fear being hurt again.

Usually when you go from one relationship to another you are desperate and will allow the first man or woman to enter your life, knowing that this isn't the person you would have given the time of day to in the past. So this relationship has started on a bad foot from the beginning because you are settling to fill a void in your life.

In order to heal, like in any situation you have to give it time. You must take the time to enjoy your own company again and learn to love yourself again. This is the time to start working on getting your finances in order so that when the right person comes you don't have to be financially needy. Start working on your home so that you will feel good about where you live. Start working on your spirituality so that you will realize that you are never alone. Get a makeover so that you can feel good about yourself again. When we lose someone special we tend to believe it had something to do with us and then we develop a low self-esteem. Start working on your dream, whether it is going back to school, taking a vacation or jumping from an airplane. This is the time to make your hopes, dreams and wishes come true.

When you have created a life you are proud of then you are less emotionally needy. You can go to the next relationship feeling more secure with yourself because you have made accomplishments in your life without the help of a significant other. Once you are happy with self and feel that you truly have it "going on" then you are ready to allow love in your life again. In the past when I have felt the most content in my life is when romance has come to me.

Today I challenge you if you are between relationships to start working on you and start working on your dreams. I guarantee that once you are at peace with yourself then you will be ready for the relationship made in heaven.

About The Author

Rondell Demmings refers to herself as a Vision Coach. She assist individuals in envisioning the life that they want to live and then taking the action to make that vision a reality. After living a life that was not authentic to her, she took steps to create the life she wanted to live. After eighteen years of Federal Employment she walked away from her good paying job to pursue her dream of being a coach. She specializes in personal growth, self-awareness and life transformation. Through her program "How to Get Your Groove Back" conducted on an individual or group basis, she motivates individuals to make positive changes in their life and to live a life that is authentic to self. She also assists home-based psychic/tarot readers in building clients and profits through marketing, training and consulting.

Contact her for a free 45-minute coaching session.

Email: Rondell@visionsilluminated.com

Website: http://www.visionsilluminated.com

Phone: 216-478-0302 or 1-877-869-0306

More Resources

Do You Have What It Takes To Attract What You Want?
When you were a kid, did you play with magnets? They were almost magical, weren't they? It was always exhilarating to bring the magnet close to another object and to begin to feel that slight pulling sensation followed by the--snap--as the magnet and the other object became one. And, equally, it was always a little disappointing when the magnet didn't stick to the hoped-for object of attraction.
7 Ways To Make a Great First Impression
When you have an important event to attend there are 7 great ways to make sure you perform at your very best. These tips are relevant for social events and business meetings.
Closing the Feedback Loop
In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importanceof becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggestthat listening might be the most important communication skill of them all.
Dont Seek Success; Seek Self-Actualization
"You make a living by what you get.You make a life by what you give.
Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love
In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I explain in detail how to practically use a plant material to attract things to you, so refer to that if you have never used plant matter in magic before.In brief, the main methods of using plant material to draw love are: carrying the substance on your person in a locket or a sachet, boiling the herb and sprinkling the residual water around your residence, putting a sprig of it under your bed or in your pillow and burning it as incense.
What is the Key to a Successful Life?
An ideal is not the dream that can never be realised, that certain weak-willed individuals like to imagine, if only to provide themselves with an excuse for moaning about life. Nor is it a vague and flimsy speculation in which shallow people want to indulge.
Be Grateful for Gratitude
In Twelve Step meetings, it's traditional to groan when someone says, "Let's have a gratitude meeting." People don't like to talk or think about what they're grateful for.
The Monkey And The Spreadsheet
When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt restless, it helped to understand drives. The mind perceived, recognized and interpreted.
Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take
I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged me to decide whether I was a coach, a writer, or a TV personality.
Yes You Can
If you could change one thing in your life today, what would it be? Why don't you have some of the things you'd like to have, and why do you have some? What's the reason for the inconsistency?Do you find yourself wondering what people think of you? Has that line of thinking ever made you doubt your abilities and your potential?Do you ever catch yourself thinking 'I can't do that, I'm not good enough' or 'that level of success and prosperity is for them, not for poor old me', or other similar thoughts?One thing you must realize is that your success in any venture starts with your thoughts about it. If you think you can succeed (in losing weight, stopping smoking, securing a high-income- paying job, finding your ideal partner, etc, etc), you're already on your way to getting what you want.
So You Want To Win the Lottery
If we all got everything we wanted, most of us would have won the lottery by now. So what happens when we notice that we aren't getting what we want, even when we've been using Law of Attraction to manifest a particular desire for an extended period of time?Wanting to win the lottery is a clear desire, therefore, you need to use Law of Attraction deliberately.
Getting What You Want Most From Other People
Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more thananything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficultit can be to turn the situation around.
How To Make A Strong First Impression: Seven Tips That Really Work
We have all heard this warning: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Also, human behavior specialists caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
The Magic of Mike
The woman stood over the stove stirring a pot of hot soup.She prepared it to ward off the bitter Minnesota cold, a cover-every-inch-of-your-skin cold, the kind that bites you and never lets go, the kind that makes auto engines demand heaters or they refuse to start.
What Love and Money Have in Common
How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown our love away on some undeserving and ungrateful lover? Have you ever found yourself muttering something about an ex that included the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?No, of course you wouldn't dream of turning the air blue with strong statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted.
Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today!
"If you can see it, you can have it." Is it really so simple? The answer is 'Yes'.
No Ifs, Ands Or Buts
If we could choose right now, this moment, how we would live,And,Knowing, that the only way we could live the way we choose, is to be who we truly are..
Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift
In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life.
How To Master The Art of Conversation
The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.
How Often Each Day Should I Read or Say My Desire Statement?
The purpose of the Desire Statement is to support you in giving attention, energy and focus to your newly birthed desire. It teaches you how to language desires so they feel good.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Reminding Yourself of Prosperity
Have you ever heard the phrase, "Thoughts are things and words have wings?" This phrase is the perfect expression of the principle of prosperity. How you think about and talk about your level of prosperity is what actually manifests in your life.
What are You Creating?
Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit you down, and ask: 'How will you use your unique gifts in the world? Did they even explore the term 'unique gift' with you?And what about your relationships?The term 'soul-mate' sounds like a wonderful concept, doesn't it?But did anyone point out to you that it would be impossible for your soul mate to discover your soul, before you discovered your own soul for yourself?And what about our own children? What are we teaching them?We'd love them to thrive, be prosperous and go out into the world with confidence. Yet if we lacked an inspirational teacher or important advice from a parent, how can we expect our children to achieve greater richness and abundance than we manage?Clearly there is a need for us all to seek greater wisdom, be that for ourselves or for a youngster.
Releasing the Illusion of Control
It's amazing how easy it is to convince ourselves that we're in control of everything in our lives. When it comes right down to it, what we eventually learn is that we are in control of only two things: our own thoughts, and our own actions.
You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails
Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the meaning of the word "metamorphosis" and how it can possibly be of interest to IT Service Management. Metamorphosis: Noun (plural metamorphoses - say metuh´mawfuhseez) ? "the change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation; the structural or functional modification of a plant organ or structure during its development.
Attracting Opportunity -- 10 Tips
You get what you attract - with your thoughts, words, beliefs, actions and inactions. Here are 10 tips for attracting opportunity:? Decide what you want, what you must do to get it, and then map out a plan to do what you must.
Living Abundantly: May the Force Be With You!
Perhaps, you have heard the phrase "May the force be with you" from your favorite Episode of the Star Wars movies. The Star Wars movies explore the power of our choices, the wonder of destiny, and the manifesting power that is in us and all around us.
How to Create a Thriving Prosperous Life
You only have to look around you at your friends, family and colleagues to see that there is an abundance of people who have talents, yet many are held back by a mortgage, a family, lack of confidence or some other reason.Deep inside us we all have a dream of living a thriving, prosperous life, but often we're unsure of how to navigate our way through the issues that come our way, and too many people, too often, give up and start making excuses to themselves about success being for others.
When Will Love Find me?
Love. You may notice that I made that an entire sentence.
Releasing Your Potential
In life, few people ever step up to live their lives at a higher level. They spend their lives wallowing in the circumstances that surround them.
Basic Intuitive Timing for Business and Life
"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries." [William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar]It has been said many times that timing is everything.
How to Be Irresistible to Women
You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she'll want to hear from you again real soon:1.
How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly
The ability to converse effortlessly with those you encounter is a critical component of all your personal and business relationships.Good communication skills promote an image of self-confidence and intelligence.
Does Size Matter?
Bigger is better. Isn't that the American dream?Why buy a road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV when you have the delicious option of buying a BIGGER road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV?Why settle for a puny three-bedroom, two-bathroom bungalow of our parents' generation nestled comfortably on a green plot of land with a few nice shade trees? In new "developments" these days, you can choose a two-storey home bulging beyond the property line of today's incredible shrinking lots, complete with a bedroom that can sleep 34 PLUS a walk-in closet that sleeps another 20 AND an ensuite bathroom big enough to store your SUV when your 300-cubit-long garage is full of toys or tools.
Courage To Be Someone New
Have you ever felt paralyzed or crippled by fear? As a businesswoman, producer, and model through my various business ventures, I've felt fearful from time to time. And I'm sure that, like me, you've found that you can accomplish little when you're afraid -- and almost nothing if you let fear of what might happen seize you.
6 Great Ways To Improve Your Social Skills
If you are looking for a way to improve your social skills, there are many resources available that will assist you in refining your social skills and improving the way you communicate with others.It's not only possible to learn how to improve your social skills; it's easier than you think.
Vacation Longing: What You Can Learn From It
Every person's life journey is unique. Figuring out what you need along the way can be an adventure in itself.
The Power of Perspective
You limit yourself. Yes, it is true.
So, The Thing Is... We Reap What We Sow
So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few weeks ago, my daughters and I planted some seeds.
Body Language
Body language is fascinating. People rarely recognize how much information they give off and how noticeable it is to the human eye.
Abundance Prosperity Based on Wallace Wattles and Napoleon Hill
It is arguable that the definition of wealth is the free and unrestricted use of all of the things which may be necessary for you to advance in the direction of your dreams and aspirations thus attaining your fullest mental, spiritual, and physical prosperity.You have a right to wealth because it is simply a desire for you to have a richer fuller and more abundant life.