Don't Be An Interview Idiot!

By Raymond Sahley

As a recruiter in the restaurant industry, I see candidates or job seekers do stupid things in the interview all day long. Obviously, we all have an idiot gene hidden in our bodies waiting to emerge somewhere down the road. If you really want to be an idiot and NOT get that new position or career opportunity you dream of follow these actions.   

The first step in being a complete idiot is to arrive late. This could be 5 minutes or an hour just make sure you're late. Nothing says, "I don't care about this position", like being late.

Step two is to be rude to everyone at the interview. This could be the host or server who greets you as you enter or anyone else employed by the company. To be effective just be mean to everyone, which will really tell them that you're a complete idiot who can't get along with anyone!

Third, please make sure you answer all interview questions with very short and abrupt responses. Don't take anytime to go into your answers. Pretend you are on Jeopardy and answer all questions with questions. That could be fun and that will surely tell them you are an idiot who always runs with the pack and has no leadership potential whatsoever.

Fourth, for the sake of being an idiot, make sure you don't ask any questions about the position or the company. Don't bring up goals or plans in the future because you will have plenty of time to think about those things later. Really show them you don't care about their company by saying you dined at a competitor the other day and loved it!

In the fifth step, when they ask about yourself pretend you're in a holding cell and stone wall them until your lawyer gets there. Whatever you do don't be forthcoming about anything or discuss your abilities. If you absolutely have to be an idiot tell them about childhood experiences and your first pet.

The sixth is all about cussing and using inappropriate language. Be sure to pepper your conversation with a few f-bombs to complete your idiot tendencies.

Nothing says you're an idiot like bad language in an interview.

Make sure you trash talk or beat up your old boss in every response. In the seventh step you want to concentrate on how bad you hated that guy and why.

This will surely tell them that you have no bounds when it comes to revealing things to complete outsiders and you are basically a very negative person.

Then in the eighth step beg them to not contact your previous employer about the funds you embezzled or the food you stole. Nothing says you're an idiot more than implying a guilty conscious that is hiding something critical to them hiring you.

Make sure you lie about your accomplishments in the ninth step. An idiot lies about all of them! Tell them how you cured cancer and invented the Internet or anything else they want to hear. A complete idiot doesn't care about credibility or reference checks anyway. Even better tell them you didn't have any labor costs because you paid everyone with cash.

Finally when the interview gets up and is ready to shake hands, don't bother! Storm out of there like a bat out of hell and never look back. Nothing says you're an idiot like being impolite and displaying no manners. Mission accomplished!

Now obviously, this was written to assist you in the pursuit of happiness and to find that next great career. By doing the exact opposite of these actions, you will find yourself at the beginning of the road to preparation to land that dream job. Just remember be kind and courteous to others, be formal and professional, be on time, be honest and open with your answers and market your abilities whenever you can in an interview. 

And don't be an idiot!


More Resources

Job Interviews: Ill File a Grievance!
I recently went to a retirement party with my husband for one of his co-workers. I worked at this same place six years ago (that's where I met my husband, but that's another story), so I knew most of the people at the party.
Getting Your Online Health Care Administration Degree
Are you thinking about getting your online health care degree but don't know where to start? Afraid of choosing the wrong college or school? Here's a simple guide to help you get started building the career that you've always wanted.Making the decision to get your online health care degree is not any easy one.
Thank-You Notes: An Integral Part of Your Career Design
There is one little practice that is vital to generating the interest of potential employers. It is critical, but very few job seekers actually do it.
Ten Great Careers For Single Parents
The challenges of raising a child by yourself, whether you're a mother or father, can be very difficult. Add the burden of having to be out of the home for 40+ hours per week to work and raising a child at the same time can be nearly impossible.
Power Resumes - Writing Your Objectives
A powerful resume starts with a good statement of objective. This is the headline of your advertisement promoting yourself.
Finding Employees For Insurance Industry Jobs
Finding the right employee for any job opening can be a challenge to say the least, and this is no truer than in the insurance industry. With considerations ranging from experience and education to their personal skills, the decisions faced by recruiters and employers can be of critical importance.
Workplace Melodrama--A Flair For The Dramatic
A flair for the dramatic is a theatrical term used to describe an actress or actor who has a talent for melodrama, characterized by intensely enacted interpersonal conflict and exaggerated emotions. The central figure in a melodrama is the hero, who spins his tale or portrays the justice of his cause in a positive light.
Waiting For the Official Job Offer
At the end of the third job interview, Helene was told by the hiring manager, "Congratulations, I am going to recommend you for the position. Expect a call from HR.
Opportunities in Automotive Services Industries - How To Cash In
I believe it would be safe to say that the transportation industry is one of the highest revenue producers in today's modern economies.Millions upon millions of private passenger vehicles rule the highways and rural roads in countries around the world.
Resume Posting: Tips for Jobseekers
Recruiting firms, like most businesses today, must embrace technology in order to prosper. Part of modern recruiting is understanding the value and benefit of internet job boards.
Does Your Resume Have What It Takes To Survive The First Cut?
Qualifications" or "Personal Profile") uses bullets and succinct wording to highlight what is likely to most intrigue the employer. Before writing this section, make a list of the 5 to 10 criteria that are most likely to guide the employer's choice - then summarize your qualifications in a way that speaks directly to the employer's interests.
Looking for Work in All the Wrong Places
The Question: After identifying a potential employer, I get contact information, do my research and send out my resume and cover letter, requesting an interview for a management or human resource position. I am listed with recruiters and staffing agencies and call them every week.
Career Moves: Take Charge of Your Life
Every day millions of people let their inner fears stop them from creating the life of their dreams. No one will deny that it is scary to step out of your comfort zone, but once you challenge your fear and take action, you can attain great things.
How to Choose Your Ideal Career
They say that most people do complete and total career changes at least once often twice in their lifetimes. Very few people chose the ideal perfect career for themselves when they're in high school and blissfully happily work those same jobs for the rest of their lives.
Common Résumé Mistakes
Using a general résumé.DON'T DO IT! You cannot successfully use the same résumé to apply to several different jobs.
In Control - Inside Tips on Interview Success
No, you can't control how the interview will be conducted, nor can you control the outcome. But you can influence it greatly by the way you present your personality and your skills.
How To Effectively Present All Of Your IT Skills
Effectively present all of your IT skills with the IT Technical Skills Summary - an exceptionally powerful document that should form part of every resume submitted.The IT Technical Skills Summary ensures that every IT skill you have acquired - computer software, computer hardware, applications software, and so on, will be indexed in resume databases or viewed by hiring managers or recruiters.
Dont Get Caught In The Security Trap
The day you begin to think of your job in terms of the security versus the opportunities it provides is the day you start to put the brakes on building your career.Time was when a young person entering the workforce could reasonably assume he was signing a lifetime security covenant with his employer.
7 Steps to Interviews that Win the Job
These days, interviews don't come easily. When you get The Call, make the most of your time -- and go for it!1.
A Career With The FBI
Do you have what it takes to become an FBI special agent? Do you have a sincere desire to enforce federal laws and investigate crimes?This job requires hard work and can often times be dangerous and stressful. You'll undoubtedly be in close contact with crimminals and victims of crime.

More Careers & Employment Information:

Related Articles

Job Interviews: Ill File a Grievance!
I recently went to a retirement party with my husband for one of his co-workers. I worked at this same place six years ago (that's where I met my husband, but that's another story), so I knew most of the people at the party.
Getting Your Online Health Care Administration Degree
Are you thinking about getting your online health care degree but don't know where to start? Afraid of choosing the wrong college or school? Here's a simple guide to help you get started building the career that you've always wanted.Making the decision to get your online health care degree is not any easy one.
Thank-You Notes: An Integral Part of Your Career Design
There is one little practice that is vital to generating the interest of potential employers. It is critical, but very few job seekers actually do it.
Ten Great Careers For Single Parents
The challenges of raising a child by yourself, whether you're a mother or father, can be very difficult. Add the burden of having to be out of the home for 40+ hours per week to work and raising a child at the same time can be nearly impossible.
Power Resumes - Writing Your Objectives
A powerful resume starts with a good statement of objective. This is the headline of your advertisement promoting yourself.
Finding Employees For Insurance Industry Jobs
Finding the right employee for any job opening can be a challenge to say the least, and this is no truer than in the insurance industry. With considerations ranging from experience and education to their personal skills, the decisions faced by recruiters and employers can be of critical importance.
Workplace Melodrama--A Flair For The Dramatic
A flair for the dramatic is a theatrical term used to describe an actress or actor who has a talent for melodrama, characterized by intensely enacted interpersonal conflict and exaggerated emotions. The central figure in a melodrama is the hero, who spins his tale or portrays the justice of his cause in a positive light.
Waiting For the Official Job Offer
At the end of the third job interview, Helene was told by the hiring manager, "Congratulations, I am going to recommend you for the position. Expect a call from HR.
Opportunities in Automotive Services Industries - How To Cash In
I believe it would be safe to say that the transportation industry is one of the highest revenue producers in today's modern economies.Millions upon millions of private passenger vehicles rule the highways and rural roads in countries around the world.
Resume Posting: Tips for Jobseekers
Recruiting firms, like most businesses today, must embrace technology in order to prosper. Part of modern recruiting is understanding the value and benefit of internet job boards.
Does Your Resume Have What It Takes To Survive The First Cut?
Qualifications" or "Personal Profile") uses bullets and succinct wording to highlight what is likely to most intrigue the employer. Before writing this section, make a list of the 5 to 10 criteria that are most likely to guide the employer's choice - then summarize your qualifications in a way that speaks directly to the employer's interests.
Looking for Work in All the Wrong Places
The Question: After identifying a potential employer, I get contact information, do my research and send out my resume and cover letter, requesting an interview for a management or human resource position. I am listed with recruiters and staffing agencies and call them every week.
Career Moves: Take Charge of Your Life
Every day millions of people let their inner fears stop them from creating the life of their dreams. No one will deny that it is scary to step out of your comfort zone, but once you challenge your fear and take action, you can attain great things.
How to Choose Your Ideal Career
They say that most people do complete and total career changes at least once often twice in their lifetimes. Very few people chose the ideal perfect career for themselves when they're in high school and blissfully happily work those same jobs for the rest of their lives.
Common Résumé Mistakes
Using a general résumé.DON'T DO IT! You cannot successfully use the same résumé to apply to several different jobs.
In Control - Inside Tips on Interview Success
No, you can't control how the interview will be conducted, nor can you control the outcome. But you can influence it greatly by the way you present your personality and your skills.
How To Effectively Present All Of Your IT Skills
Effectively present all of your IT skills with the IT Technical Skills Summary - an exceptionally powerful document that should form part of every resume submitted.The IT Technical Skills Summary ensures that every IT skill you have acquired - computer software, computer hardware, applications software, and so on, will be indexed in resume databases or viewed by hiring managers or recruiters.
Dont Get Caught In The Security Trap
The day you begin to think of your job in terms of the security versus the opportunities it provides is the day you start to put the brakes on building your career.Time was when a young person entering the workforce could reasonably assume he was signing a lifetime security covenant with his employer.
7 Steps to Interviews that Win the Job
These days, interviews don't come easily. When you get The Call, make the most of your time -- and go for it!1.
A Career With The FBI
Do you have what it takes to become an FBI special agent? Do you have a sincere desire to enforce federal laws and investigate crimes?This job requires hard work and can often times be dangerous and stressful. You'll undoubtedly be in close contact with crimminals and victims of crime.