Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over

God must love Top Ten lists because she made so many of them. They crowd my Inbox daily. They're right up there in popularity with offers to refinance my house and stock up on Viagra. Top Nine Lists are few and far between and Top Eleven lists unheard of. But for seem reason there seem to be ten nifty answers to pretty much any problem or life situation you can come up with.

In search of my own Top Ten favorites I had a hard time coming up with something that hadn't already been worked over. There seems to be a plethora of Top Ten lists designed to pump us up; increase our confidence and build self esteem. I thought it would be nice to let some of the air out. So here are my:

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over.

1. Nobody knows why anybody does anything. Imagine the time this one will free up. You don't need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your s.o. dumped you; why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. We do what we do when we do it. Let it go. Don't take it personally.

2. Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all the time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you'll see that you can never repay the debt. Your mother and father who raised you; your teachers who pushed and believed in you; your friends who supported you; your community which nurtures you. Question is - what have you given back in return?

3. You'll be balanced when you're dead. Not a moment sooner. Balance schmalanace. We chase it like the Holy Grail. What's the big deal if you work too hard some weeks and goof off others? If you're passionate about something maybe you'd rather have more of it in your life. Your kids won't knock over a bank if you miss a few softball practices. Exercise is overrated and TV's not evil incarnate

4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron. Don't be intimidated by colleagues who do five things at once. Studies on "Attentional Blink" show that we don't actually do more than one thing at a time. We switch our attention rapidly between projects. A one man band plays many instruments passably but none well. Better to be a maestro than a journeyman.

5. You don't deserve anything you have. See # 2. Entitlement is a very unattractive quality. No matter how hard you worked or how much you planned you were never in control of the outcome of your efforts. God and luck and the support of others, along with your own hard work, played big parts.

6. You're ordinary. Relax it's a compliment. Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent . Superstars are a pain in the rear especially when they read their own press. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down - Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law Al? Imagine the ride home.

7. You're not a victim you're a volunteer. (Unless we're talking about a trainwreck or a typhoid epidemic). The old saw about nobody being able to take advantage of you without your permission is true. If you don't want something to happen in your life don't set it up in the first place.

8. You're right. Life isn't fair. But it's always interesting and instructive if you keep an open mind.

9. There is no meantime. No place where time stands still and standards are lowered and second best is good enough. There's only now. What are you going to do now?

10. Gratefulness is second to Godliness. Cleanliness is waaay down the list. Get down on your knees and look at your life. Oh, the places you'll go!

Mary Rosendale is a writer, speaker and Founder of "The Constructed Life" - a unique Holistic Coaching service rooted in Buddhist psychology. If you liked this article you'll love her free newsletter. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedlife.com to sign up for it.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation
There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be truly effective, the ability to listen (often for what is missing rather than what is said) and the ability to ask the right question at the right time.Now in reality there are no 'right' questions, there are however some very good, and fairly generic questions that when asked which can make a significant difference to the way in which a coaching interaction progresses.
Receiving Thanks and Praise - The View from the Other Side
We demand more from those who provide to us and because we are frequently in roles which deliver goods and services ourselves, we are on the receiving end too - of complaints, frustrations and generally poor behaviour.Why is it that when we are on the receiving end, we miss the fact that we ourselves, when we hang up our service-provider-hat at the end of our shift, often end up as 'customers behaving badly' too?Why do we take our own frustrations out on others, the way it has been taken out on us? Why do we sometimes become the Hyde from our normal Jekyll?So, when someone goes the 'extra mile' to say 'Thank you', or appreciate the actions you have taken? What do you take from that and how do you react? You feel good, I guess.
Freedom for All; Is it Possible?
Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress; is it possible? Could the Internet be a tool to getting there?Freedom, what is it? I am an Internet writer whose job is to write about the Internet. Does that mean I am locked into this one area? Am I allowed to write about other things? Well today I am going to test out my supposed freedom, by writing about freedom.
Top 10 Ways to Coach Yourself to Total Success!
Coaching is about being your best. It's about performance, about "staying the course" and, in the end, about creating and living the life you really want.
Flying in the Slow Lane
Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as my husband and I floated over the mountains in a wicker gondola, listening to the barking chorus that followed us even 3,000 feet into the air.
How to Effectively Balance Your Work and Family Life
What Is Your Definition of Success?If you want to create balance in your life, it is important to know how you define success. The following list is a place to start.
The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To
I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home.
Dont Settle
Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don't want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve.
Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them
1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with.
Mailey's Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005]
As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship coach, an issue that has come to my awareness is the tendency we have as human beings to stray away from the present moment. Some people tend to live mostly in the past, some live in the future, while still others ricochet from future to past and back to the future again.
Dealing Effectively with Midlife Issues
In this article we would like to help you explore the challenges and opportunities that come at midlife. You will have an opportunity to take a look at issues that are specific to the Baby Boomer generation.
Dont Be Jealous - Be Inspired
When we see people do things we cannot do, or have things we don't have, it might be tempting to be a little jealous. But, jealousy doesn't lead to anything except resentment, and that isn't going to help you.
Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach
As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles to help them attract a great match and with couples to help put their relationships back on track. I hear great feedback from my clients about the value of coaching.
Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you are constantly sending messages about your true thoughts and feelings whether you are using words or not.Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the message you convey.
A Small Piece Of Carpet
Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself sometimes depends on whether or not you get confirmation of your value from others? When you enter into challenging situations with a positive self identity you will discover that you are living your life with a greater sense of enjoyment and fulfillment.I have learned a lot about nurturing a positive identity of love and appreciation from the man who taught me to train dogs.
Do You Ever Give Up Coaching Employees?
In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees. We want to believe that we can eventually make a difference.
Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?
Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea.
THE Step to Working Smarter (Japanese Style)
Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected bottle tops that had the letters to spell T-H-E R-E-A-L T-H-I-N-G, then youd win a zillion dollars.Im not sure where the drink industry turned the corner but contests and advertisements are no longer all you will find on the underneath side of bottle caps.
Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself
Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than fully confident, as part of your preparation for facing a daunting challenge? You can improve your performance if you let your somatic intelligence lead the way."You move too much to be effective.
Theres Gold in that Silence
Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to make a point? If you can consciously recall, you probably know your silence made more than just a point; it made an exclamation point ..