Humor Information

By Leeuna Foster

Why do I write? Why do I subject myself to all this rejection?

On any given day of the week I can get turned down on almost anything I request from another person. I can get put downs, turn offs and cold shoulders from my own family and friends. Why do I invite it from strangers?

I even include a S.A.S.E. to insure that the post office delivers it to my correct address? Why on God's green earth would someone who claims to be sane invite a truck load of stinging, slicing, paper cuts from faceless strangers with names like Editor or Publisher? Am I a glutton for punishment?

But wait...I never claimed to be sane. I'm a writer. We don't need sanity to write. All we need is a keyboard and an idea. According to Mark Twain, "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." With that said, the issue of my mental state stands corrected. This Southern Belle has indeed cracked under the pressure.

So why then do I persevere? I don't expect to ever be rich and famous. I realize the odds of me becoming a millionaire from my writing are as slim as my chance of becoming an airline pilot, since I am the poster child for both Aviophobia and Acrophobia.

There once was a time when one became a published author first. They ascended to fame and finances because the public loved their work and bought what they had written.

Now the process seems to have reversed itself. The new trend is to become a national celebrity or spend time in prison, or preferably both, and then write a book. I guess folks believe that because someone is famous they have something important to say.

These already rich and famous celebrities appear on a talk show and Oprah, Ellen, Maury (snicker) or whoever the host may be, compliments them on their enlightening life-altering book about how their cat overcame depression during the fall of the Berlin wall. They blush shyly and say, "Oh this ole thang. I just threw it together one weekend." The audience applauds wildly and the book hits the million seller mark before the show is over.

Give-me-A-break!

I just had an idea. I will become a famous celebrity first, before I pitch my latest novel to a publisher. I wonder how I can do that?

I know...

I will attempt to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records as the writer with the most rejection slips. Does anyone know what the current world record is? I will become famous, then...nah, I'll just become famous.

T.S. Eliot said "Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers." I wonder how many rejection slips these editors have?

Excuse me while I simultaneously submit this article to a few hundred editors I know...along with a S.A.S.E.

Leeuna Foster is a Marketing Strategist, Author and Poet. She has been writing for two decades and her short fiction and poetry have won several national and regional awards. If you enjoy Southern humor, visit her website: http://www.southernfriedwriters.com