How Are You Inventing Your Life Today?

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."
-- From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley

Walking down Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth, I am struck by the beauty of the day - forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze - and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in a healthy body, through a friendly neighborhood, of my own volition. I think about how much I take for granted, and how easy it is to feel centered and content when life is easy, flowing, and conflict free.

The day before was not so. It was rainy, windy, and cold. I hadn't slept and woke up short-tempered and irritable. (Will winter never end?!) A project I'd been putting off could not be postponed any longer, and I knew I had to finish it even though I had no inspiration for it. My body ached from hard aikido practice the night before, and I felt tired and lacked energy. I opened a window and spilled a potted plant all over my office floor. And the last piece of my favorite toasting bread had mysteriously disappeared from its storage place. Tomorrow - who knows? As my friend Carol says, life can fall on your head at any moment.

So how do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don't feel like it? I kept thinking: You can do this, this is great, exactly what you look for - ideal opportunities to practice . . . center, breathe, laugh. Sure, it's easy to be centered when things are going your way. This is the perfect day to practice - when they aren't.

I'm embarrassed to say that it was still hard. The only good news that I was able to give myself was that I noticed. I could see I was having a "pity party," which was a step in the right direction. Friend and colleague, Joy Jacobs, calls this ability to step outside our selves and acknowledge our reactions meta-communication. My meta-communicator is the role that says, Hey, Judy, you're really having a strong reaction to that plant falling over. Whoah! Are you sure you want to throw it through the window? Right, probably not.

The meta-communicator is the insulation between my reaction and my response. It keeps me from getting dragged down an emotionally reactive path that I will probably regret. The ability to meta-communicate is a sign of emotional intelligence, analogous to self-awareness, and essential to self-control. Without the ability to meta-communicate, I get lost in the emotion and identify with it. There is no distance, no separation between me and my mental state; the attitude, emotion, or mood overrides conscious thought and takes me wherever it wants. I can only talk about the emotion again (like this) when it's played itself out and I regain the ability to see it.

Centering awakens the meta-communicator. Taking a moment of literal and figurative inspiration - breathing and connecting to my power source - gives me the time and the space to decide if I want to get dragged off or not.

Pity parties are fun sometimes. I can enjoy getting together telephonically or in person with special friends. We dress up in our best long-suffering attitudes and moan about this event or that person, how much work there is to do and how little time. We bring our meta-communicators along, and we laugh at ourselves in the midst of our complaining. It's a lot more fun to whine with awareness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind." How do you like what's happening in your life at the moment? I realize it may be a lot more challenging than winter weather in May. Still, gently experiment with changing your relationship to life events, and see what happens.

When I am willing and able to do this, to change my mind, everything changes. It begins by noticing my reactive state.
I'm upset.
Okay - Upset Energy. How can I use it in a way that's congruent with my values and vision?
I take charge of it, before it takes charge of me.
I begin to travel a path of power and presence, instead of a path of reactivity and regret.

As I place that bit of padding between my reaction and my response, I reclaim my power. I reconnect with what is really important. Why am I here? What do I want to contribute to this workplace, this family unit, this relationship? What are my hopes for this conversation? How will I impact this meeting?

More sunny days and uplifting moments are on the horizon. But whatever the external or internal weather conditions, I am protected by an inner spring of insight that is always awake, aware, and available to be turned on at any moment. And I remember all that I have to be grateful for, including the privilege of having unsettling emotions.

How are you inventing your life today, this moment? Is life a struggle, or does it flow? It's possible that the answers are really up to you.

© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training

About the Author: Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. Judy is also a black belt in aikido, and is writing her first book on the connection between aikido, conflict, and living a more purposeful life. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Note: You're welcome to reprint this article as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the 'about the author' info at the end).

More Resources

Are You a Sheep in People Clothing?
Many people, who feel that they are independent and communicate well, are actually sheep in disguise. Are you one of them, how do you tell and how do you go about changing if you are?When you are able to confidently stand on your own two feet, you become in control of your own life.
Four Proven Techniques On How To Capture Positive Habits
Bad habits, we all have them. They keep us from accomplishing our dreams, make us say and do things that really aren't in our integrity.
How to Create a Thriving Prosperous Life
You only have to look around you at your friends, family and colleagues to see that there is an abundance of people who have talents, yet many are held back by a mortgage, a family, lack of confidence or some other reason.Deep inside us we all have a dream of living a thriving, prosperous life, but often we're unsure of how to navigate our way through the issues that come our way, and too many people, too often, give up and start making excuses to themselves about success being for others.
How Do You Choose To Deal With Your Life?
"It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny." --Jean NidetchIt is not what happens to us in our lives that is important, but how we choose to deal with it.
Create Your Best Life
"You can create what you want in life; first you have to imagine it clearly. Imagine your ideal scene," Marc Allen, The Millionaire Course.
Recognize Desire AS Power
I just moved into my new luxurious, harborside condo, overlooking the famous Songees of Victoria, BC, Canada. Three months ago, I didn't know such a beautiful place existed and today I am living in one of the most sought-after locations in North America!The past three months have been filled with experiences of Law of Attraction at work.
What Do You Do?
When I go out and talk to business people, I hear them talking about all the things they do from day to day. They talk about the problems they have and their frustrations with a whole variety of things they do.
10 Ways to Survive and Celebrate Valentine's Day When You Are Single
Do you feel all alone and out of sorts on days like Valentine's Day when you are not in a relationship? Use these suggestions to reframe your experience and set the stage for what you want to attract for yourself. Here are 10 things you can do to make it a great day for you.
The Competition Fallacy
So many people falsely think that if they help another, they are helping the competition. This scarcity perspective breeds greed and insecurity; ultimately, people who hold it will realize that had they not been helped at certain times, they would not have had the opportunity to be where they are today.
Intuition and Instinct, Our Friends
Say the word 'intuition,' and some cringe. It sounds too new-age, too touchy-feely.
Did Your Personality Choose Your Career?
We almost all think we are masters of our own fate. While it is true that we all make our own choices there are many things that influence what we choose.
Freedom of Choice -- Learning to Make the Right Choices
Recognizing your gift of choice is liberating. This means acknowledging that you are where you are because of your choices.
The Fastest Way To Manifest Your Desires
Is there a way to change your life condition, and manifestyour desires at the fastest possible speed?YES! Definitely! There is a secret that can make youmanifest your desires in the fastest possible wayyou can imagine. I am going to share with you thissecrets now.
The Art of Manifestation
There are times in life when we wish to create something. Perhaps it is a new relationship, car, house, or a special holiday.
What is it That You Want, Honey? Discover Wealth and Prosperity with the Angels of Abundance
As you already know, the Angels are here; ready to assist us but how can they assist us if they aren't control freaks or butt-in-skees? Obviously, they don't butt in. I have never heard my Angels telling me that I "should" do something.
Mental, Emotional and Physical Prosperity
To create true, lasting prosperity, almost any guru can tell you that you must align your physical, mental and emotional states and actions. This all sounds very logical, but when it comes right down to it, most of us are not quite certain how to proceed.
Appreciation Attracts Prosperity
Did you know that appreciation is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe for manifesting and attracting prosperity? According to teachers like L. Ron Hubbard (father of Dianetics), Abraham-Hicks and Drunvalo Melchizedek, appreciating yourself and your life can literally boost you to the highest vibrations.
Law of Attraction Article: How to STOP Being a Person Nothing Works For
Do you ever wonder why great things happen to some people but not to you?Do you ever read about people who have tried this or that product and had some incredible result, but when you try it, you don't get the same result?Have you become a person who NOTHING seems to work for?Maybe you've thought about trying the some new self- improvement package that sounds great, but you're just so tired of things not working for you.Let's take a look at how you've gotten where you are and why these things might happen.
What Next?
When we are faced with making a change we often feel like we don't know what to do. The kicker is that USUALLY we do know what to do - it just happens to scare us a little bit.
10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3
Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success..

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Transformational Counseling - Part One
Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to transform their lives. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others in their reinventing themselves, of creating a life that they love and living it powerfully.
Creativity, The Law of Attraction, & Networking
Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!I hope this finds you all doing well and living & loving your passions!Today I want to talk about creativity, the law of attrcation and networking.Let's start with creativity--YOUR creativity! Creativity is limitless.
Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it?Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up!Have you ever felt the breeze on your face, either during a hot-air balloon ride or by sticking your head through the car sunroof? It wakes your senses up, doesn't it?And on a scale of 1-10 how much does your heart bump, body shake and senses wake when you do your day job? I bet you can practically do the tasks with your eyes shut. In fact I bet there are days when you feel like you did have your eyes shut?Most people don't feel awakened by their day jobs.
Four Proven Techniques On How To Capture Positive Habits
Bad habits, we all have them. They keep us from accomplishing our dreams, make us say and do things that really aren't in our integrity.
Give The Wrong Words An Inch And They May Take A Mile!
What do you do when circumstances seem out of control? What's the first thing you look for? Or Whom? What immediately runs through your mind? Do you yell? Do you curse? Do you go bow up your back like a porcupine getting ready for all out war?By Word Of Mouth!There is something that every one of us has been taught to do since we were born and yet so few people know how to control it. We have been taught how to talk, but still don't know how to control our mouth.
On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses...
On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo their sweethearts with chocolates and roses -- but also a Leadership Talk.My experience in teaching the Leadership Talk to thousands of leaders worldwide for the past 21 years confirms that the Talk is a boon for leaders of all ranks and functions in their jobs and careers.
Introduction to the Law of Attraction and Unlimited Wealth
This article was written for one purpose:To explain to you as effectively as possible, exactly what you can do to have everything in your life that you can possibly imagine. And since that is such a tall order, I need to be able to explain how to do that in a way that does not seem "hocus-pocus" or require you to adopt some kind of "new-age" belief system, because I would lose a great many of those I am trying to reach if I went that route.
5 Practical Shyness Tips That Work Everytime
We all experience a little shyness at times with people who we find intimidating.Here are some useful suggestions and ideas that can help you overcome shyness and speak up when you need to in order to achieve your goals.
Self-Esteem: The Foundation of All You Achieve
At its core, your sense of self-esteem or self-worth has a huge impact on how you live your life.It frames how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others, how much you achieve in your work - and how you feel about pretty much everything.
Bigger Fish To Fry
Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern Ontario. That trip really brought home to me the power of the Law of Attraction.
Finding Truth
Why Must We Find Truth:Finding truth can be a very difficult task. We are processing data constantly with news from TV, radio and newspapers.
Why Doesnt This Manifesting Thing Work for Me?
You've written out your goals. You read them every day.
The Mind - What An Amazing Universe
You are what you think;The experts say we barely use 10% of our minds. I wouldn't be so sure about that or very proud of it either.
Guiltless Contentment
'Have I stopped dreaming?' 'Why am I not as stressed?' 'Why am I not on the 'move' like most people of my age?' Is something really amiss?'Guilt in Contentment?Is there really such a thing as guilt in feeling contented?"Guilt may come from comparing your living conditions to others and not living up to your own standards. It arises from unreasonable demands on yourself especially when you fashion your life to someone else's," wrote Maxwell Maltz, M.
Mirror, Mirror
The Concept of Beauty"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the most beautiful of them all?"This is a line spoken by the Queen in the children's fairy tale "Snow White"The Queen most likely, was once the most beautiful woman in the kingdom; expected only to hear the Mirror confirm that fact.To the Queen's dismay The Mirror had exchanged her beauty for that of Snow White's He pulled down the Queen's Beauty position replacing it with that of her Snow White's.
The Cliché of Balance
The world we are living in is changing at a fast pace. Never before in the history of mankind that change was so enormous and rapid.
Character or Reputation
Character or Reputation. When we see these two words together, we often mistakenly believe that you cannot have one without the other.
7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
What are You Creating?
Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit you down, and ask: 'How will you use your unique gifts in the world? Did they even explore the term 'unique gift' with you?And what about your relationships?The term 'soul-mate' sounds like a wonderful concept, doesn't it?But did anyone point out to you that it would be impossible for your soul mate to discover your soul, before you discovered your own soul for yourself?And what about our own children? What are we teaching them?We'd love them to thrive, be prosperous and go out into the world with confidence. Yet if we lacked an inspirational teacher or important advice from a parent, how can we expect our children to achieve greater richness and abundance than we manage?Clearly there is a need for us all to seek greater wisdom, be that for ourselves or for a youngster.
What You Sow You Reap!
Go into the fields and country lanes in the spring-time, and you will see farmers and gardeners busy sowing seeds in the newly prepared soil. If you were to ask any one of thosegardeners or farmers what kind of produce he expected from the seed he was sowing, he would doubtless regard you as foolish, and would tell you that he does not "expect" at all, that it is a matter of common knowledge that his produce will be of the kind which he is sowing, and that he is sowing wheat, or barley, or turnips, as the case may be, in order to reproduce that particular kind.